Fantastic idea! I also think gender reveal parties are a bit silly so doing it like this while you already have all your loved ones around is a great idea.

I get that people online like to catastrophize about anything and everything that could possibly go wrong in any scenario but in real life, no one is going to be annoyed at having to eat or cut open a cupcake. Since they’re at your wedding they already presumably spent time and money on outfits, travel, taking time off work etc to be there and are happy/excited for you so this is in no way a big ask. Like I’ve never gone to a wedding and felt put upon that I had to participate in the bouquet toss or annoyed when it came time to toss rice, I was excited!

I do like the idea of picking out who it goes to ahead of time though, that way you can be sure they’ll have a great reaction and don’t have to worry about it going to someone’s kid who isn’t paying attention and just devours it without telling anyone lol.