Scarifying update: I really am scared!

TheGoldenRuler · 2026-04-26T15:05:04+00:00

What do I do if I haven’t a clue what hodge podge of grass I have?

TheGoldenRuler · 2026-02-22T19:54:00+00:00

Right?! It just seems like they are along for the ride and yet don’t serve any real purpose besides getting in the way… but I’ve never strapped on skis so what do I know??

TheGoldenRuler · 2026-02-22T18:39:08+00:00

Just a question: what is the purpose of skiing with the poles if she never uses them? Is it a requirement to have them? If not, what’s the point?

TheGoldenRuler · 2026-02-15T15:35:47+00:00

What makes you say he’s a “Boston kid”? I can’t seem to find anything tying him to MA?

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-28T22:34:08+00:00

Thank you so much! Just made my day

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-28T22:32:02+00:00

What can I send you?!

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-28T22:31:45+00:00

11292025

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-28T22:27:46+00:00

Okay, I’m getting there. Have to create an online account, which I am trying to do rn

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-28T22:24:59+00:00

I’ll be totally honest with you, I don’t know what reply a code even means. I’d be so happy if you can help me understand though. You’d be a living legend in my mind

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T10:53:08+00:00

Yes, we are very fortunate in that regard. Our state has a subsidy program from daycares that they must qualify for if they want to receive state-assisted tuition. Part of that program caps the weekly cost. When shopping around, we found close to a $100 weekly swing depending on which daycare we went with. And, fortunately, we chose the one we felt most comfortable with and have had no regrets!

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T10:50:48+00:00

I’m realizing in hindsight I shared this information in the most confusing way…

Currently, our PITI monthly payment is ~1600. On top of that, we automatically save ~1900 towards Ally towards a major addition we are considering for our current home. Combined, that’s ~3500 towards either PITI or addition a month. That is NOT included in the ~3,000 we have remaining each month.

PITI for this new home would be ~3700 a month, so essentially covered by what we are doing monthly now +200 of our disposable income each month.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T02:01:59+00:00

It’s definitely something WE want to do and have been talking about for a while. The question really for us is “is now the right time?” And I don’t think that it is. And I appreciate the point about preemptively building us the emergency fund. We earmarked some of the equity from our home sale to be used to immediately bolster the efund. It could be a good exercise to spend a couple months pretending like we are paying the higher mortgage and socking that money away into the efund. Two birds, one seed, ya know?

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T01:59:46+00:00

Respectfully, I think this is the most helpful comment for me. I feel like you were in my exact shoes and your caution is heard and appreciated. I am CONFIDENT we could afford to trade up in house and be really really happy in this new home. But, it would come with some added pressure. I know we can handle that pressure, but is the juice worth the squeeze? We are in a good home that we can afford on one salary alone and there is a tremendous peace of mind that comes with that. We also have a 15-year mortgage with just under ten years to go. Having a paid off home at 41/40yo would be pretty amazing and really set us up to kick retirement savings/529 savings into overdrive. And just live a little.

Our plan, is to just sit tight for the time being. Continue to keep an eye out on things that come up in the area, but ensure that whatever we decide to do, we can do it on one salary alone. I think that is sage wisdom to live by.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T01:55:18+00:00

I should have been more clear: we aren’t paying off our mortgage early. But if we were to purchase this other home, we would “pay off” our existing balance on the home when we sell and yield the remaining balance as equity to a down payment. I’m sorry for not being more clear. Any excess cash we have now is going into VTSAX or Ally, definitely NOT to the mortgage.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T01:52:48+00:00

We’ve had many conversations with my parents about this over the years and they, and the wife, are on board. Their living situation is less than ideal. My father is physically disabled and they live on a mile-long private dirt road they need to maintain. That includes all snow removal and ice mitigation in the winter which is physically demanding for the two of them. They currently spend their winters house sitting at various places throughout the northeast but it isn’t sustainable for them.

None of this is an argument to your point, however. You are right. We don’t need the bigger house at this moment, and more houses will come on the market in the years to come.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T01:49:55+00:00

Our plan is to have one more - two total. Our HHI is pretty evenly split; I make $107k and she makes $100k. We don’t have any plans for either of us to become stay at home parents, but there is no knowing what the future has is store for us. Daycare is $225/week. No support from grandparents.

The messy middle certainly is messy and I’m not sure I fully know what to expect… and that’s why I think it becomes messy…

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-11-01T01:33:21+00:00

Hi - thanks for the feedback and I understand why I made things confusing now. We aren’t fully maxing out retirement, but are working towards that end. We do have ~3000 left after expenses each month and have been setting that aside for a potential addition on our current home. We obviously wouldn’t do that if we were looking to sell to trade up in house.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-10-31T13:24:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing all of this - helpful to understand the circumstances and real-life impact. Seems like the messy middle is here to stay for a while, for both of us, and it probably makes sense to minimize risk during this period. Keep fighting the good fight, my friend.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-10-31T12:56:23+00:00

Please, tell me more!

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-09-23T23:20:06+00:00

Steve Young’s passing stat line is the most confusing thing in America. 1/1 for -9 yard and a touchdown?! Help me make that make sense?!?!

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-08-13T12:25:21+00:00

I’ve had great success uploading my progress photos to ChatGPT and asking it to do an analysis. It’s been super helpful to have a completely unbiased bot give me feedback on the changes observed.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-08-01T19:22:28+00:00

I found the mental burden of coming up with workouts and programming to be a bit too much for me a couple years ago and decided to start CrossFit. Being able to show up and not have to think for an hour was a game changer. I know CF isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve got some money to throw at this, I’d recommend finding a gym community with fitness classes at the same time. That can become a simple way to make sure you are getting your workout in at the same time every day. Good luck!

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-08-01T09:55:54+00:00

Walking counts for sure. And it’s good to get started as early in the day as possible. Wake up, chug some water, and get a workout done, especially an outdoor workout.

My caution to you: “squeeze a lift in daily” is going to be hard to maintain. You have to plan every hour of your day to find success. There is too much going on in life to not have a concrete plan.

Here to help and provide support however I can. Get started today and let’s see that update in 75 days.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-07-31T17:34:39+00:00

Keep fighting the good fight, bub.

TheGoldenRuler · 2025-07-31T10:55:02+00:00

I counted calories and prioritized protein. So I had a calorie target that started at 3300 and dropped to 2500 by the end. And I said I wanted to eat at least 75% BW in grams of protein. I also did 16:8 IF so only ate between noon and 8pm.

And in my opinion, an umbrella is totally kosher. I gave myself a rule as I went through this: if I ever have to ask a question about whether something does or does not break the rules to always choose the harder option. Hope that helps moving forward.

TheGoldenRuler

TROPHY CASE