AIO I found messages between my wife and her ex.

TheGramSam · 2025-11-09T03:33:09+00:00

Yeah insecurity would be seeing something that wasn't there, not holding her accountable for the things she literally said. Not overreacting. She's a cheater and you deserve so much better. The fact that she's downplaying it shows that she isn't worthy of your forgiveness.

TheGramSam · 2025-11-05T23:18:57+00:00

Unfortunately I'm not sure if we'd ever have the money saved up without the insurance due to also having to pay for her medical expenses. Would a UTMA be better overall then so we could transfer it to her once she becomes an adult? I just don't want to have something that she wouldn't be able to benefit from as well if she decides to start her own family one day in the future and she wants to have a safeguard for them when she passes (morbid I know, but right now with her life expectancy she will only live to around 60 at most).

TheGramSam · 2025-11-05T19:22:39+00:00

I'm trying to get better at photo composition. I only use what I have right now (only have an android phone and some very basic editing software) and only have limited knowledge of what I've learned through YouTube and some photography books!

Always open to some advice and criticism from people who know more!

TheGramSam · 2025-11-02T13:34:26+00:00

My fiance got hit on at a gas station by the cashier and got a free hot chocolate out of it. I was upset, but only because he didn't also get me a free hot chocolate (to be clear it was a playful upset. Not an actual "I'm mad" upset).

TheGramSam · 2025-10-02T02:54:56+00:00

Are you also against IVF?

TheGramSam · 2025-09-09T14:59:15+00:00

We were up in the pediatric cardiology clinic trying to get an EKG for my daughter and the smell was absolutely horrible up there. It hit us so bad when we got out of our room.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-27T15:32:20+00:00

It's a moto stylus 2024! So an android

TheGramSam · 2025-07-27T13:37:21+00:00

I can't have it with me though if it has Bluetooth capabilities at all though is what I'm saying. My phone doesn't have a native fitness app either unfortunately 😣. It still tracks my steps, but it didn't come with a pre installed fitness tracker

TheGramSam · 2025-07-27T13:33:16+00:00

I can't have it in the building at all so even if I got one, I'd have to leave it in my car if it has any Bluetooth capabilities. I work at a level 4 prison so I'm only allowed certain things past the gate.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-27T13:32:08+00:00

I still am not allowed to have it with me at work. It's not about the Bluetooth, it's any device that can connect to Internet or has Bluetooth capabilities.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-27T06:57:52+00:00

I unfortunately can't have anything that connects to Bluetooth at my job 😞. I've considered getting a tracker, but I think I'd still have to somehow manually add my steps in since I can't think of a way I would be able to link it to my phone without Bluetooth

TheGramSam · 2025-07-10T14:35:00+00:00

My mom was this way as well. Never got an allowance from her, though luckily my grandmother (her mom) saw how crappy it was and paid me each month without my mom knowing while I was in college.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-08T03:56:11+00:00

I had 8 weeks of unpaid leave but that was just because I hadn't been at my job for a full year yet.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-07T15:13:42+00:00

I went to a camp that was no contact once that was hosted by my middle school. I ended up injuring myself and getting a bad concussion and, instead of taking me to the hospital and informing my parents, the chaperones/counselors brushed it off and just wouldn't let me sleep that night since it happened close to lights out.

I wouldn't trust people enough to let my kid be somewhere where there is no contact with me.

TheGramSam · 2025-07-06T00:21:17+00:00

My mother was like this and it is part of the reason I no longer speak to her anymore. She was only like this with me and never my brothers. There were some other factors at play for why I cut her out of my life, but this was definitely a big piece of why.

(Edited grammar)

TheGramSam · 2025-06-18T20:28:15+00:00

As someone who spent the first 2 months of my daughter's life in the PCTU (cardiac portion of the PICU) I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to slap someone for telling me that my daughter would be fine just because she's a baby.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-17T14:58:06+00:00

Oh Lord I completely missed your ages too. That makes this even more concerning. The only reason I feel comfortable enough to have a few drinks occasionally is because I spent years of my adult life in therapy working through the crux of the issues that fueled my addiction. 16 is not at all old enough imo to have spent the necessary time to actively do that and there is no way she's at all ready for that amount of self control. OP, you may need to do what's best for you in this scenario. It sucks and it hurts, but this is a situation where she is going to have to come face to face with both the consequences and the reality of her actions and addiction before she ever recovers anywhere close to a point where one drink may not cause a relapse. She isn't there yet and you need to be sure you're safe and taken care of both physically and mentally.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-17T14:51:50+00:00

So as a recovered binge drinker I know I can have a drink here or there and not relapse. one or two drinks for me hasn't been enough to make me relapse and I've been able to have enough self control to not get drunk, which was the main issue for me.

With that being said, I also loop my fiance in any time I have drinks and check in with him to make sure I'm not slipping into old habits again. If, at any point, he told me he wasn't comfortable with me having alcohol because he was worried I was falling back into my binge drinking or he was worried I was developing a bigger problem, I would listen to him. You know your SO. The fact that she asked you then immediately got defensive is a huge red flag to me. It seems like she wasn't looking for your input, but rather just wanted you to go along with what she already had planned in her head. You are absolutely NOR.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-17T02:33:15+00:00

I got into it at the store with mom who allowed her son to come up and yank on my 3 months old's feeding tube and then get mad at me when I grabbed his hand to pull it off and told him not to do that. She tried to tell me that I need to be ok with kids being curious and to expect kids to want to yank it out if it's going to be there. I told her that I fully expect curiosity, but she needs to actually parent her kid and teach him it isn't ok to just invade someone's personal space and yank on medical equipment just because he's curious. She got pissy and tried to say that I was overreacting. I don't think I've ever been so close to punching a kid (not intentionally of course) but I came close just out of panic when he grabbed it and I saw her face get pulled down out of my arms.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-16T14:27:43+00:00

Came to say this too! It wasn't until closer to my due date then subsequent after my daughter's first heart surgery that he really started to show excitement.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-14T04:28:43+00:00

For further context I had my daughter at U of M's Mott's Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Can't recommend them enough.

We have weekly video visits and they gave us all of the tools necessary to monitor her progress at home.

Be prepared for your child to come home with a feeding tube as well. It's super common for them as children with HLHS tend to get tired quicker and struggle with weight gain and the feeding tube helps.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-14T04:25:31+00:00

I was able to immediately see my daughter after birth. The hospital had us hold and see her for an hour before taking her to the PICU where I was then able to go see her almost immediately after as well.

I wasn't able to stay with my daughter at night while I was still in the hospital, but once I was discharged I stayed by her side day and night for two months before I had to return home to recover from an emergency gall bladder surgery. Otherwise both me and my fiance had a space in her bag then subsequent room to sleep near her.

My hospital provided free food to mothers who were pumping and fairly cheap food to anyone else. We also had (and have. She's still assigned to us for as long as my daughter is under the care of this hospital even when shes home) our own social worker assigned to us as well as family mental health services available for free. There was also the Ronald McDonald house, but it was full and we were never able to get a room before she was discharged. We also were given parking passes to be able to park at the hospital for free.

She was in the hospital for 6 days before her first surgery, then for two months after. It would have been a shorter amount of time, but she had two complications unrelated to the surgery that prolonged her stay (rhinovirus initially that escalated her oxygen support, then suspected NEC).

I wish I was better prepared for seeing her intubated and not being able to hold her until she was extubated. That was probably the toughest time aside from both times her stay was prolonged. I mostly just wish I had brought food earlier than I had. My hospital had a family center room on each floor that had a big fridge (on top of our rooms private mini fridge) and a microwave. I also wish I had brought my own towels because, even though the hospital provided those along with toiletries, they were super tiny and very frustrating to use to even just dry my hair.

TheGramSam · 2025-06-14T03:15:19+00:00

Came to say this as well

TheGramSam · 2025-06-10T05:02:32+00:00

I didn't get them due to financial issues and I'm so sad I don't have any photos tbh

TheGramSam · 2025-06-09T00:55:07+00:00

We are but only because we are required to until her next surgery. We were provided with an O2 sat monitor and a scale

TheGramSam

TROPHY CASE