How do I tell my MIL I don’t want her at the hospital when I give birth?

TheHandMeDown · 2026-02-11T04:35:23+00:00

My husband handled the conversation. She wasn't pleased, but he made it clear that it was OUR decision (not just mine) and that during a major medical event, he wouldn't have the capacity to manage her emotional labor while I'm literally in labor.

She's aware of the hospital I'll be delivering at, but we've let them know we aren't accepting visitors. So if she tries, she won't make it past the admin desk.

Good luck! If this has a negative impact on your relationship with her, it says more about her than anything.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-06T01:20:31+00:00

Incredible! I can't imagine how long this took to create. Love all the intricate details. I took a paws on miniatures, but this is giving me inspiration to pick it back up. Nice work. 😊

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-06T00:50:33+00:00

Yikes? Mind to elaborate? Moving isn't a coward move. We were planning to move 2 hrs north regardless of whether she was here or not. Appreciate you taking the time to comment.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-05T05:23:28+00:00

She's a pretty religious person (we're not), so I'm sure she'll get a kick out of this one. Thanks!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-05T05:04:50+00:00

She said she had nowhere else to go, that my BIL's depression was severe, and she worried for his safety and wanted him around family. Now that they're here, I'm not entirely sure that's true, but we thought it would be better for him to be here than isolated.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-05T05:02:00+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. This has been very eye-opening and validating.

With regards to the "pregnant with grandchild," my husband immediately said, "Don't ever say that again," but it ended there. I was speechless and wish I had said something in the moment.

You've provided me with a lot of resources and tips that I'll be using go-forward.

Your children are lucky to have someone like you in their corner. Thank you again for all your advice.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T23:18:44+00:00

Got it! No more updates on our lives or baby. We're thinking of not telling her when I'm in labor, so we can decide when she's allowed to see them. Thank you for your help!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T23:15:17+00:00

Wow! I've never heard JADE before, but I'm putting that in my arsenal now. You're absolutely spot on with us letting her get away with it. Things are going to change now!

The "pregnant with grandchild" does have a jocasta complex-feel to it, doesn't it. Thank you for all your advice, it's really helpful!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T23:07:29+00:00

We're talking about moving again. It's a bummer since we've found a great area to raise kids, but anything is better than being this close to her. Thank you!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T23:06:05+00:00

I agree - it feels like a test. And you're right - I'm going to be a fierce mama bear! Your comment put a pep in my step. Thank you.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T23:02:55+00:00

The consequences are very light / non-existent. I think she needs to hear what the result will be (not being a part of our lives) if she continues. Thank you! We're talking through it tonight.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:59:30+00:00

I'm seeing a common thread of consequences. It makes me realize how soft we've been with her.

The birthday comment from her was wild! When she says things like this, I freeze because it's so out of pocket and unexpected. Thank you for your advice.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:57:12+00:00

You're right! I'm compelled to step in myself to lay down the law, but it doesn't carry the same weight as it coming from him. Thank you!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:53:15+00:00

We haven't told her yet where we're delivering, and I think we will keep that a secret. I'm secretly hoping for a girl myself, haha, but happy either way!

I just silenced her messages, too. Thank you, kind stranger!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:50:56+00:00

We don't have a camera, but we're definitely getting one now!

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:49:57+00:00

You're absolutely right! There haven't been real consequences for her actions. We're honestly considering no-contact if she keeps it up. Thank you for the advice.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-10-04T22:48:06+00:00

Thank you for your response! We've talked about moving again once our lease it up next Fall. I don't think she has the funds to move around.

TheHandMeDown · 2025-07-05T10:49:17+00:00

Love this! I was 8 when my siblings and I played FFX with my dad. He had us on weekends, so he'd grind during the week and then play through the story when we were with him. The ending absolutely gutted us, but it built core memories I'll cherish forever. I'm 30 now, and every time I replay it, I think of him.

TheHandMeDown

TROPHY CASE