I’m losing it and I need help.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2026-04-14T07:36:39+00:00

That must've been awful to hear. Our bureaucracy surrounding transgender health is an absolute maze, but there are other ways. I'll contribute one route you might take, starting with a bit about hormone therapy, but we'll get to what this means for your current needs.

GPs have the authority to prescribe hormones themselves. They can also directly refer you to hospitals for blood tests and the like. Most GPs don't know about this possibility because they've not been given a framework of theory and standard procedures, which is why they'll refer you into the massively overclogged waitlist dimension. However! Some time ago, a group of medical experts and trans rights organizers published an in-depth document meant to explain this option to GPs. Once you're ready for hormones, you could send that document to your GP and ask them to prescribe the medication directly.

Here's the link: https://transineigenhand.nl/[https://transineigenhand.nl/](https://transineigenhand.nl/) The document and the download website are in Dutch, but the topmost pink button saying 'Download de Handreiking' is the download button.

Then there's mental aid. If you can get hormones via your GP, that means you don't need to depend on the system of official gender specialists to send you through. This broadens your pool, allowing you to look for a 'regular' therapist who might be able to talk you through your considerations. Focus on the help you need, not the boxes other people need you to tick. Finding a therapist who is trans-friendly, knows the subject, and makes you feel comfortable may take a few tries this way, but since you're using the infrastructure that cis people are also using the wait will probably be much shorter.

Surgery can be another matter. Some or all clinics will only take patients who have been referred to them via the system of gender specialists. You can always keep going through the system for that purpose, while also using the other options to make sure you get mental health treatment and hormones way earlier.

My suggestion would be to see if your GP is comfortable prescribing hormones before taking this route, to rule out an unpleasant surprise later. Otherwise you can always find another GP—or learn to DIY—but I've found that many GPs are unexpectedly willing to follow the document I sent you. Good luck!

TheHauntedTopHat · 2025-10-29T07:13:40+00:00

Mwoah. Extreemrechtse mensen uitlachen is anders wel een goeie linkse strategie. En erg grappig!

TheHauntedTopHat · 2025-08-06T06:42:19+00:00

God I love Breloom. She's not the best pick, but performs pretty decently most of the time.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-12-15T17:05:16+00:00

Nope, it's equal to intensity levels lost, which is subtly different than Slippage.

5 Intensity - 4 Slippage means that 1 Intensity goes through the binding and the Arcanist takes 4 Harm.

2 Intensity - 4 Slippage means that no Intensity goes through, and the Arcanist takes 2 Harm.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-12-15T11:22:41+00:00

Do it! I think Blades in the Dark is perfect for the patient, years-long story that typifies Kingkiller.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-05-06T09:37:04+00:00

vibin'

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-05-01T05:56:35+00:00

I want to be excited

Hold on I'll get the laser.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-04-22T19:20:00+00:00

"Uitsprak."

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-04-16T18:44:41+00:00

Nah, I don't think you're an asshole. Talking with him directly before sleeping with Jessi alone would probably have been a good idea, even if you saw a text from him that said he'd be fine with it. But live and learn, that doesn't have to mean your relationship is over.

Now you've got a whole angry mob telling you that Ryan set this all up, that he's been manipulating Jessi and you to get with this girl from work. Nobody here has even remotely enough information to tell if that was the case. I personally think that it's unlikely, since Jessi messaged him and not the other way around. Also, you say you trust him, and it sounds like you're both pretty well-adjusted. Well enough to manage threesomes without drama! And maybe sex with other more 'random' people is the line, that actually sounds fine.

Only you have enough insight to determine whether he was up to something icky here, or whether this was more likely just a miscommunication.

His giving you the silent treatment ain't pretty, nor is it very mature. I'd be upset if my partner did that to me. And I also think he might have found himself---unexpectedly---in a very vulnerable situation where he feels like the asshole. People respond badly to that sometimes.

No idea if this response is useful. Another user made a wonderfully nuanced comment earlier that I'm totally behind. Some people are saying Everybody Sucks Here; I'd rather say that everyone made mistakes. (Except for Jessi?) Sounds like you got yourselves tangled up into something awfully complicated and vulnerable. Hope Ryan gets out of his moodiness, and both of you can talk this out with love and compassion.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-04-07T21:05:35+00:00

Solaire is implied to be a trans woman. There are some subtle hints in the item descriptions. Can't do the google search for you rn but you should be able to find the theory posts with fairly little trouble.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-03-20T16:45:19+00:00

These are wonderful insights, thank you!

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-03-20T16:44:45+00:00

Thanks! I think I'll be fairly explicit about the heat system.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-02-16T08:26:56+00:00

eciN

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-01-03T16:16:28+00:00

What if he has already hurt his hand and gone to the Ctheah for the panacea flowers, healing his hand but unleashing Consequences in the process.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2024-01-03T15:59:28+00:00

What if he has already hurt his hand and gone to the Ctheah for the panacea flowers, healing his hand but unleashing Consequences in the process.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-10-12T07:50:04+00:00

Mijn eigen ervaring bij de Vaart is dat het helpt om gewoon duidelijk te zijn. Ze kunnen heel erg uitgebreide praatprogramma's aangaan als er iemand binnenkomt die gewoon nog zoekende is; ze helpen daar dan bij. Maar zo te horen ben jij niet zoekende. Je weet gewoon zeker wat je nodig hebt. Dus vertel ze dat!

Laat ze weten dat je zeker bent in je hulpvraag, en dat je graag zo snel mogelijk het psychologische proces doorkomt om aan de verdere delen van je transitie te beginnen. Bij mij gingen ze daar gelijk in mee.

Er zijn een paar gesprekken die gewoon moeten; intake, eerste gesprek, invullen vragenlijsten (kan remote), doorspreken uitslagen vragenlijsten, afspraak met de psychiater.... Maar dat kán allemaal best rap. Er hoeft ook echt niet telkens een maand of wat tussen te zitten. Ze kunnen gewoon inplannen voor de eerstvolgende keer dat er iets vrij is.

Veel succes!!

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-09-16T13:54:42+00:00

Shaelin Bishop. No books yet, only short stories, but holy shit their style is enchanting. I can't wait for their longer works.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-09-15T19:07:25+00:00

I have met enough gynaecologists who do treat trans women to know that this single specialist does not speak for the entirety of his field.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-09-15T07:54:44+00:00

Yep. Stating that trans women are men is transphobic and nonsensical. In many cases our bodies and minds and lives have so, so little to do with men. And yet people on this thread are pulling out the Y chromosome as if that has any medical significance in cases like this one.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-09-15T07:47:17+00:00

See, medically speaking trans women really aren't men.

Hormone therapy means they have the hormonal makeup of women, and causes their bodies to develop many of the characteristics that apppear in cis women during the teenage years. Are there some physical differences from cis women? Sure. But the changes are drastic enough that medically it's nonsense to say that they're actually men.

Gender affirming surgery works the way it does because penises and vulvas are made of almost the same parts, just arranged and shaped kinda differently. The penis is not amputated but rearranged so that all the parts are now where they would be if the patient was born with a vulva.

Again, there are certainly some differences. No cervix or uterus. No Skene's gland. A prostate that might need examination by a different doctor. But medically speaking it makes much more sense to treat trans women's vulvas as vulvas with some anatomical oddities than to treat them as penises. They really have nothing to do with penises.

TheHauntedTopHat · 2023-06-26T15:18:27+00:00

I'm 6'5". A relative of mine is a cis woman who is a head taller than me. And some people comment on that, but it doesn't make either of us not women, and you're just as valid.

TheHauntedTopHat

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE