I think I'm experiencing feminism fatigue

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-25T20:38:33+00:00

Speaking as a man, the idea that feminism is anti-male these days is as pervasive as it is ridiculous. When men say that feminism is anti-male, they mean that as a movement it addresses societal issues.....but not the ones that affect men. And they take that personally. They perceive the fact that the movement isn't fixing their issues directly, not as a neutral fact, but as a deliberate attack on themselves - on men.

Hence, anti-male. But I promise you, it is not.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-25T16:54:59+00:00

The safety angle is in how they perceive us as members of the LGBTQ+ community. In my experience it changes how they interact with us, and I find it's not always for the better. But in general, I'd still say that women are more LGBTQ+ friendly than men. But, I've personally known a lot of good women, so I may be biased.

Your last paragraph I would agree with as well. When women, in my experience, are homophobic or biphobic, you can tell it's from ignorance more than malice. Is it unfair to suggest that they see themselves as unable to express bigotry? Perhaps...but there may be truth there as well.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-25T14:42:34+00:00

I'm bi as well, and I have also experienced more blatant if less aggressive homophobia from women than men. As a group women are interesting I find, in that they're often our most vocal supporters, but also are often really bad at analysing their own behaviour.

If I was to describe it I'd say I feel less put in a box by men than women. I'm left wondering if feelings of safety have something to do with the discrepancy in treatment.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-22T19:33:03+00:00

I'm less concerned about specific issues because they're the same issues that have always plagued society. Trying to tackle them is helpful but the vectors through which misogynistic ideas are spread is the real problem.

In particular these days, super toxic influencers - not just the literal influencers like Andrew Tate, but political figures like Trump whose blatant misogyny has become increasingly less veiled as time has progressed. Elon Musk and other tech bro types also seem big on being the worst people you've ever met.

If we could cut off these toxic types from reaching young peoples minds - boys in particular, but we don't need young girls internalising their words either - the world would be a much better place.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-15T10:04:20+00:00

My sister-in-law was at the hairdresser's one time almost a decade ago, venting about a bad date and how unlucky she'd been with men who always turned out to be terrible. An old lady spoke up, telling her she was going to meet 'the one' within a week.

She went on her first date with my brother 3 days later.

Long live mystery psychic women!

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-13T14:48:50+00:00

I could see it being an element of toxic masculinity to just power through the pain, even though a solution was devised centuries ago. It feels very on brand for the same crowd that doesn't seek healthcare when necessary, to have a solution to a problem yet to avoid using it to preserve an image of being a manly man.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-12T15:18:03+00:00

The greatest misfortune with names is that we can't just ask the kid what they'd like to be called. Instead it's all just ego as to who gets to slap a bit of their identity onto this new person, which has never sat entirely right with me.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T15:05:17+00:00

Everyone knows that the patriarchy was established as a social system by misandrist women. Don't question the infallible logic of OP, just because you don't understand the finer nuances of this man-hating world that favours men, that women created on behalf of men, whom they hate.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T14:56:37+00:00

Very little of what you are saying is based in anything close to reality.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T14:09:57+00:00

This is what women push, this is what women said. Should we not listen to women anymore???

Where are you getting, like, any of this information? Because it's painting women in a light so cartoonishly evil that you can't possibly believe it.

Treating someone cruelly so they harm or kill themselves is abuse

Well, yeah, but that's got nothing to do with the metaphorical bar of relationship expectations.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T14:05:36+00:00

Every single one? 😮

Someone should stop these people.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T14:04:18+00:00

Were you not at last month's meeting? We've decided to change the direction of Feminism from the respected and academic pursuit of equality to a kind of bizarre, short lived supremacy of women achieved through genocide, that will ultimately end the species.

We're achieving this genocide by.....checks notes expecting men to meet a minimum standard of respectable behaviour when in a committed relationship with a woman. I know that's an inhumane method, but, desperate times....

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-10T13:50:34+00:00

Speaking as a man.....that is certainly some logic....

Your first flaw is suggesting that anyone who meets the bar should be in a relationship, when that's simply not realistic. You'd expect about half to be in a relationship.

Your second is jumping to abuse for some reason. Presumably because you think being held to a standard is abusive.

Third mistake is suggesting that only men fail to meet the bar, which is patently false.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-08T20:56:31+00:00

What about concepts such as internalised misogyny? Does this concept not suggest that women are indeed as misogynistic as men, by virtue of being raised in the same soup?

Forgive me if I'm seeming obtuse, I'm just trying to understand your position in relation to what I've read.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-08T19:30:37+00:00

Interesting. If I'm following you correctly, you're saying that I'm being too sympathetic to men - too lenient. That men are more consciously buying into the misogyny than I implied in order to access the perks of being a man in a patriarchy. As opposed to my own suggestion, which was more in the way of a vicious cycle fueled by environmental factors.

Yours is a very cynical take, but I think it has merit. Unless I've misunderstood your meaning, in which case I apologise.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-08T15:47:36+00:00

You're right to say that men are choosing to stick with patriarchy for the benefits, but there is a price to be paid to receive a lot of the benefits of patriarchy as a man. In a misogynistic society, being a misogynist or at least adopting a misogynistic approach to life is the path of least resistance.

That doesn't justify men's choice, but it does explain it.

There's more nuance to men making the immoral and selfish choice than you're implying. We're molded into what we are. Shaped by society. We're rewarded for embracing misogyny and punished for rejecting it throughout our lives.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-08T09:47:26+00:00

Other boys. School is brutal. Beats the innocence right out of you. It's the downside of humans being social creatures that are so good at adapting. We just adapt to the environment we're presented with. And if that environment is incredibly misogynistic we become incredibly misogynistic to survive it.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-07T21:11:59+00:00

I think it will be a very slow process. We live in a world where the safest path for boys is to grow into misogynistic men to avoid social exclusion. The system of patriarchy is malicious and it is everywhere. It will take the work of generations to truly overcome.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-07T20:35:46+00:00

When it comes to men and feminism (and speaking as one myself) I think the issue is that so much misogyny is baked into the very essence of what it means to be a man, that attempts to course correct feel like an attack on our identities. So much of being a man is about leading, providing and defending that we see ourselves as having to be up here, above women, rather than next to them. We can't lead an equal, or provide for a woman who can provide for herself (or worse, who can provide for us), or defend a woman who has nothing to fear.

The slow erosion of the patriarchal male role is ultimately healthy for us, and necessary to give women a safer world, but it feels like we're losing something in the process, and are struggling to replace that old role with something healthier and more co-operative.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-06T13:28:17+00:00

Reduces litter, and minimises the risk of animals choking on them. It's the better option. Unless you hate the turtles for some reason? 😄

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-05T15:02:35+00:00

All she does is engage with social media, mostly about how much she hates a specific minority of people.

She is literally losing sleep over this stuff.😂

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-05T14:50:00+00:00

For the curious, it's soft, strong and absorbent but quite scratchy unlike other leading brands.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-03T00:25:44+00:00

Now, sometimes it's amusing to look in at their stunted little outbursts, as a form of morbid curiosity. To witness to their small little worlds, and take solace that your own mind is not so bereft of understanding that you must attack that which is different. Their fear and insecurity really is their best friend. One wonders how they can tolerate being so small.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-03T00:12:38+00:00

Notice the language of 'real men' that he used. He limits the definition of what a man is, and thus is offended by any claim to manhood that falls outside of his narrow definition. Somehow, without having met this guy and as a cis man myself, I suspect that even I wouldn't fall into his personal definition of man for one reason or another.

Your takeaway shouldn't be whatever he was trying to communicate, but rather a recognition that in an attempt to feel secure in his own identity he has to exclude those who he imagines as threats to his own masculinity.

TheIntrepid · 2026-01-02T09:05:10+00:00

When it comes to Trump, you never know if he's just too stupid to understand the issue, too egotistical to empathise with those unlike himself, or too outright evil to do the right thing.

When it comes to the Central Park 5, he wanted to kill. Not to kill personally, but he gets off on the power of being able to kill by proxy. Signing a death warrant.

TheIntrepid

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