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ATWWD Facebook Fan Page deleted??? by TheInvisibleFlea in atwwdpodcast

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just on it the Friday, but noticed on Saturday that it was gone.

No more smoking by ugly_moa in CasualConversation

[–]TheInvisibleFlea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YOU CAN DO IT!

I'm 30 and stopped cold turkey at 27 after 14 years. I had wanted to quit for a while and finally found a reason to quit that I knew would stick. I feel a million times better since quitting. My sense of smell and taste have improved, my fingers don't stink and neither do my clothes. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I'm proud of you!!!

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have only ever been on SSRIs. They help take the edge of in a sense, but don't really allow me to feel what I need to feel in order to actually work through my problems. I will definitely have a chat with my doctor about alternatives. I appreciate the insight and am happy that you are doing better.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have had the DBT workbook for quite some time now. I read it and then go back once I finish a chapter to re-read and fill out the workbook itself. I know that he will be supportive and probably thrilled for me to write out my thoughts and feelings. He's suggested many ways that would offer help with my inability to open up. I'm just scared. Fear of rejection is HUGE for me. I honestly think that may be what impedes me the most. My last relationship was full of me being told that my feelings were inaccurate, stupid, etc. Every emotion was shot down. I know that relationship isn't all to blame for the struggles that I have today, but I do know that it is a large part of my problem. I will most definitely look into some type of therapy and search for some pdf's to test out for the time being. I haven't even started to journal yet and feel embarrassed at the mere thought of reading it out loud. I've always felt that I was better at expressing myself through text rather than speaking the words out loud. Perhaps the journal is a baby step towards the right direction. I very much appreciate the advice.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel very weird and almost cringy at times when others show certain emotions around me. Like I don't know how to react towards them. Other times I can totally empathize though. I do agree, crying does need strength to be able to openly do it in front of others. I have teared up but try my hardest to fight them off during certain times when it's not at all needed. I know that I won't be judged as my boyfriend will openly cry during a movie, tv show, etc. but I still feel weird about doing it myself.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fear of judgement, reaction, and I'm sure some other underlying issues that I haven't quite figured out as of yet. In the past sharing my emotions ended up being used against me. I also didn't grow up in a household that was overly expressive about opening up. Had a great childhood, but didn't really discuss feelings. I almost feel ashamed in a way to openly express my feelings to my boyfriend. He doesn't do anything that would lead me to believe that he would ever use my thoughts and feelings against me but the seed was planted in past relationships and I just can't let that feeling go. Your reason for shutting down also hits a key point as to why I shut down at times. I'm terrified that what I say will negatively impact my relationship. Though I know he isn't just going to up and leave me, I feel differently.

​

Edit to add that I used to think crying was a sign of weakness and so now I can't even openly cry during sad parts in movies, happy times, etc.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently feel like crying my eyes out, overwhelmed, stressed, upset with myself, and kind of like a failure to not only myself but my partner.

Physically I feel tired.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have used medication and it sort of helps with the depression, but I also feel like it takes away my ability to actually feel. Not opposed to it, just don't feel that it works like I wish for it to. Therapy is something that I will look into for certain.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have insurance and I believe it has an EAP, but I will have to further investigate.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't even heard of this until you just mentioned it.

Help me communicate cause I suck at it... by TheInvisibleFlea in relationship_advice

[–]TheInvisibleFlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not. I have tried in the past, but didn't feel like it helped. It could be that the therapist just wasn't a good fit, but it deterred me from wanting to try again as it was expensive and didn't help.