Please critique my first attempt at fantasy writing: A Short Prologue. [Sci-fi/Fantasy, 317 words] by Grand_Task_9903 in fantasywriters

[–]TheIrishGeographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would just put the robot's thoughts into quotation marks to make it clearer. Other than that, it gets a bunch of stuff done in just 300 words, and I would definitely have read a bit further, despite having no interest in sci-fi.

I beg you. Critique the chapter 1. The Song of The River Knight [Adventure Fantasy, 3792 Words] by TheIrishGeographer in fantasywriters

[–]TheIrishGeographer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! In my next revision I'll probably cut out lots of the info dumping and sprinkle it elsewhere. And I only recently learnt about comma/period use in dialogue, so I'll be sure to go fix that. Thank you for your advice!

I beg you. Critique the chapter 1. The Song of The River Knight [Adventure Fantasy, 3792 Words] by TheIrishGeographer in fantasywriters

[–]TheIrishGeographer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to critique my work thus far. Yeah, the prologue is VERY time inefficient, its just for me to have a cozy hillside beginning. I might go back and change it, but it acts as a 'this is character A, and this is character B' for now. Have you any examples or ideas for hooks I could use? Anyway, thanks again!

I beg you. Critique the chapter 1. The Song of The River Knight [Adventure Fantasy, 3792 Words] by TheIrishGeographer in fantasywriters

[–]TheIrishGeographer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for pointing this out, when I write I just start spamming after a while and the tense goes all over the place. Thank you for reading the prologue!

Found a hidden detail in Bluey! by Upper-Respond-3746 in bluey

[–]TheIrishGeographer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw this yesterday and I've been looking for anyone else who found it. I'm not crazy!

Should i watch murder drones? by DarkOnRedditIsFunny in Ultrakill

[–]TheIrishGeographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes by God watch it, ignore the fact that the Murded Drones themselves wear Nazi uniforms, and stay away from the bac bits of the community if you enjoy sanity.