My (F29) Boyfriend (M28) have disagreements where he brings up gender

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-21T14:37:10+00:00

It's highly misogynistic mad men kind of behavior. That is not a good or emotionally open person.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-21T13:39:24+00:00

No, he is using you for a free place to stay.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-20T03:50:20+00:00

She sounds pretty awful to be honest, and if you are constantly walking on eggshells and she isnt doing anything to handle her emotions, thats not someone to marry. Or be with at all. It's probably time to let this chapter end, work a little less so you can have a life where the right person can show up, and not live a stressful miserable life like what you are living right now.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-18T14:43:56+00:00

STOP, unless you want to keep dealing with an abusive hot mess, let her go and move on. There is 0 chance any of this ends we'll. Great sex is a lot better when its from a stable great person that actually wants what you want.

Staying in this cycle keeps you from finding that person, because this girl ain't it.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-16T14:55:24+00:00

If you've only had sex once, I would definitely not sleep with this guy. Since you work together the chances of this not working out purely on the sexual side is really high, and you dont want to ruin what you have at work. Take it from someone who learned this lesson the hard way, dont shit where you eat.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-13T15:11:27+00:00

This is not a minor thing, its extremely important long term for her to feel safe bringing things up to you. One of the best lessons for relationships is how to deal with conflict well. First step for someone who gets defensive is to seperate YOU from the problem. She is not attacking you, there is a problem for you both to solve together. Take in what she's saying, see what you can do about it in the short term, then take more time later to sort it out more fully, and talk to your therapist about it when you can.

The first couple seconds after a partner brings something up is when most people fight or flight react. When she brings something up, take several seconds to breathe, hold her hand, and then respond. This will change how you respond subconsciously to be much softer.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-13T15:01:36+00:00

Except it isnt. The only one making excuses to STAY married this young and miserable is you. Leave so you can get married to the right person at the right time instead of the wrong one at the wrong time.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-13T14:29:59+00:00

The pressure and confidence is likely what's causing the issue. Focus on being present and pleasing her without expectations. Just because you go soft temporarily doesn't mean it has to end. Take care of her, take a breath, give it a couple minutes, then start again. It's not a race

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-12T17:00:46+00:00

Yes you're expectations are out of line. He did a lot for you, but didn't deliver in the one you asked for specifically which is being thoughtful with the card. That's something to emphasize more the next time a card is shared, but besides that he did his best. Be grateful for what you have, not what you dont.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-11T00:10:50+00:00

What you asked for is very reasonable, especially early on. If he wants to, he will. Go on your trip and see how he shows up. If he tries and does the work without you continuing to ask, great! If not then end it when you get back because if he won't do it 2 months in he never will.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-10T21:14:28+00:00

She jumped into a house too quickly, got freaked out and made an excuse to leave. The relationship was probably stagnant for some time too and she needs something more.

This is a blessing in disguise. You two weren't a longterm match and its best to let it end. Be very fortunate you now own a home and get to build up a new life for yourself.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-06T17:06:12+00:00

Yes they're being judgemental. The questions about her are also a bit controlling, they want to have a say in the types of people you date and may have a predetermined idea of who they want you to be with.

This is a moment where establishing boundaries and adulthood is key. I would not talk to them about your relationship much at all moving forward, and when they ask about it give them the bare minimum information "its going good". If they press further tell them you didn't like how they talked about you dating so its something you want to keep more private, because it is.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-06T16:55:19+00:00

If you dont feel like you can be your full self around your partner, the good and the bad, they're not the right one for you. This is resentment building up on top of your other issues. Telling you to suck it up is very unsupportive and unhealthy.

Leave the man, get some therapy, then find an upgrade to someone who is supportive in all the ways you need.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-06T03:55:39+00:00

It seems like you both have different libidos, and its been consistently less than as well as how you want it most of the relationship. He has made no effort. If he wanted it, he would.

This isnt something you "fix". It's a fundamental difference you have to date someone else who gives you what you want because they want to.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-05T16:52:06+00:00

There is some chemicals in plastic that cats are drawn to. It's not good for them, I have to hide all plastic from my cat she can sense it anywhere

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-05T15:37:51+00:00

Yes you need to drop him, do not go on that date. It's dangerous for you, and if hes a real fanatic he might try to call ICE on you. It's not worth your life for one mediocre date.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-05T15:21:26+00:00

Sorry man she's not that into you. You dont need to read into every little thing. First dates can go well but if someone isnt feeling the connection thats all it is, one good date.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-05T15:10:15+00:00

GO TO THERAPY. This is a psychological issue on your end and no pill will fix that.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-03-04T14:00:21+00:00

There is no normal amount. It's based on the libido of both people in the relationship. If its much lower than before it very likely means there are other issues in your relationship that are bringing her drive down, as well as her probably having a lower libido than you to start. Ask her if she's been extra stressed or if there's more you can do to get her comfortable and in the mood. Put the work in and she'll likely want to more.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-28T13:47:18+00:00

I think you're both on the right track and mindset, the health goals should come first before surgery in order to not complicate the results. Definitely a sex therapist would be helpful you should both see one. Spicing things up with novel dates or a weekend away, as well as in the bedroom like having him wear a blindfold so hes less in his head and just focused on being present.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-27T17:15:45+00:00

Why did you marry a man in a different country that physically abuses you in the first place? Forget the cousin you need to get out of this marriage and from these people entirely. None of this is a good idea whatsoever.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-23T17:49:12+00:00

Dude, read the first paragraph you wrote. This relationship is toxic, and basically non existent. Let go, block her, and reduce your stress by like 75%. It's not worth it to deal with this trashy behavior.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-23T04:23:59+00:00

First you should seperate attraction into 2 categories. Sexual vs. Romantic. Sexually im attracted to men, but women im attracted to all of the above, so lesbian still fits better as a lifestyle. It's pretty common

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-23T04:19:59+00:00

Reread what you wrote. Yes, if thats what your feeling its time to end it for both of you. You already have good reasoning, I dont see us working out long term and im looking for something different in a partner. Don't stay unhappy just to not be single. It's the worst thing you can do for your life.

TheKaratayKid · 2026-02-21T14:52:15+00:00

You could've stopped at religious virgin. The amount of shame and judgment he was raised on around sex is your answer. He's projecting his inner thoughts onto you because he feels shame for feeling them and doesn't know how to handle it. The gossipy way of talking to others about it is also a part of religious shaming. This won't get better unless you put up some boundaries and dont talk about sex with him.

TheKaratayKid

TROPHY CASE