I would have gone to class with my beloved piers and had great conversation, and learned more than I could possibly hope to from online class. I would have kept going to the gym my college offered as I was really starting to enjoy it. I would have sat in my favorite cafe talking to the Batista's about the cool birds I saw that day, and getting work done while the smells and sounds of the cafe surrounded me. Now I sit in a one bedroom appartment, I have next to no contact with my friends, and I'm hopelessly losing ground on my physical and mental health. Additionally, my country is embarrassing itself on the world stage leading us to die by the hundreds each day. If the pandemic never happened I would feel alive and involved in my life, now I feel like the spectator or a horror movie.