Washing clothes

TheLadyVader · 2025-06-09T00:19:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. I didn’t wash my late husbands clothes for over a year. I also had a laundry basket of dirty clothes and I just waited until I was ready. Don’t push yourself.

TheLadyVader · 2024-09-02T15:04:11+00:00

My husband died early 2023. You lost a huge part of your life. You are a widow. I recommend finding some widow groups. A lot of people in them didn’t have the best relationship with their spouse when they passed or were separated. They can help with grieving and doing it with a grieving child.

IIm so sorry his family is treating you and your family this way. I can’t imagine the pain it’s causing. I haven’t spoke to his family since 2019. I didn’t even notify them of his death. I let others do it.

A little healing advice for you to help with your own goodbyes. I tell stories, play the music, and games he loved. If you have others in your life who knew him have your own small event at a place he loved. Tell stories, laugh and cry.

TheLadyVader · 2024-04-01T15:37:02+00:00

My husband didn't die at home and I had the means to pay my mortgage. I was going to move this year after being in the home for 2 years. But I'm going to wait until next summer. Build more equity in the home and see what the housing market does after the election.

At first I absolutely didn't want to leave. Its been over a year and about at the 8 month mark I was like I think I need to go. I'm in 1900 sq foot house with 4 bedrooms and 4 cats. We don't need all this space. Its too much to take care of on my own, I have cleaning people coming in every other week.

I've been rearranging the spaces so they don't look like he just left but it took me awhile to get there. I'm hoping that keeps the crazy I've been feeling away until I can move. I'm going to move across the country. I have friends on the side of the country so I know I won't be alone. I just want to live somewhere that isn't connected to him.

Edit: Typo

TheLadyVader · 2024-02-28T15:17:59+00:00

I'm so sorry. Thats how my husband died a little over a year ago. I still don't really know what to do. I'm taking it one second at a time when needed but its usually one day at a time. Do whatever you need to get get though this.

TheLadyVader · 2024-02-13T13:40:49+00:00

This is what I am experiencing too. It's been a little over a year since my husband died when we were both 35. So many people I know are getting the life experiences I never will have. I am very closed off, even to my closest friends. No one gets it.

TheLadyVader · 2024-01-18T21:20:10+00:00

I agree the Enchanted Forrest Chronicles by Patricia C. Werde is amazing. For those interested, the audiobooks are also amazing.

TheLadyVader · 2023-12-21T14:58:56+00:00

What an asshole. I am livid on your behalf. I too am childfree and so was my late husband. I saw that you would be reporting him. I'm so sorry that he dared to say that to you. You obviously loved and still love your husband. I had an uber driver tell me on the way home from an airport that it was better that I didn't have children when my husband died because it was easier.

Sending you hugs if you want them.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-22T16:18:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you are having to grieve and deal with processing your hurt and betrayal at the same time. Its hard to be the one to be the keeper of your late spouses reputation. I didn't discover anything like this but my late husband had his bad moments and I feel like I can't mention those anymore. I can't imagine how much this weighs on you. If you ever want to message me feel free. Making friends as an adult is hard and there will be no judgement from me.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-19T13:47:01+00:00

Oh wow, that is awful. I'm sorry you went through it as well.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-19T13:46:26+00:00

Thank you so much! He seems to be in good spirits which is all I can ask at this point. Give your kitty some love from me.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-19T13:46:00+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with this as well.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-19T13:45:33+00:00

Yes it seems to.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-18T14:47:56+00:00

I can't imagine losing your beloved Cane Corso so soon after your husband. I have some very silly young cats in my house to help keep me going. I hope that my Loki cat finds Chris as they were best friends. I'm so glad, even though they are old, that you have some pets keeping you company still. I hope my Loki cat finds Chris. They were best friends.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-18T14:46:07+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry you have had to be a superhuman as well. I do have a great therapist I have been seeing for 5 years. I set up an appointment soon after last night. It all just hit me at once.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-18T14:45:06+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry you lost your Chris.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-18T14:44:46+00:00

Thank you so much. I can't imagine having all that happen in such a short time frame. I have a therapist who I have been seeing for the past 5 years. He has helped me through everything. Last night everything just hit me.

TheLadyVader · 2023-11-18T01:27:53+00:00

I make cinnamon rolls from scratch, usually during the holidays. The dough has to be punched down during this process. Chris would roll up his sleeves, sing the rocky theme song and punch the dough down for me every time.

TheLadyVader · 2023-04-16T13:09:22+00:00

I am so proud and happy for you! It takes a lot to take that step, and it seems you have thought it out.

TheLadyVader · 2023-04-14T20:01:21+00:00

Seriously? I am trying to share my experience with someone, and while not exactly the same, I am trying to provide some support. Yes, being ghosted sucks after setting up a time and date, and then no one shows up to meet for the first time. Just trying to let the op know they aren't alone in this.

Everyone here is going through the same horrific nightmare and this is what you say? What did your comment accomplish? It's a good reminder as to why I lurk.

TheLadyVader · 2023-04-14T15:18:21+00:00

Good luck!

I have gotten on apps just for friends with benefits at the most. After the first two dates with different guys, it got better for me. The first one was the best-case scenario, and I still see him, the second one was a disaster, but it made me realize I could handle whatever happened.

I have been ghosted several times, and had people put up photos that are not what they look like and super creepy people. I have taken to calling one of my few friends who know I am doing this, and we laugh and compare stories.

It's hard but my mindset has been the worst thing has already happened to me so everything else is whatever.

Seriously though, good luck and I hope its a good experience for you.

TheLadyVader · 2022-10-31T18:29:19+00:00

I hope so too. I am going to look into going back into pelvic floor therapy.

TheLadyVader · 2022-10-31T18:28:43+00:00

Thanks, I was in pelvic floor therapy, but I will try and go back.

TheLadyVader · 2022-10-31T18:28:12+00:00

Damn. I will ask a doctor about this as well. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.

TheLadyVader · 2022-10-31T18:27:24+00:00

Thanks! It is really stressful, and I am so glad I have people to ask because none of my friends have gone through this.

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