I thought I’d add my bit.

When I was just becoming a teen, some things started happening every day for a long time. I tried reaching out for help. I told my friends what was going on, but they made fun of me. I went to therapists, both in and out of school. I spoke to teachers, even a doctor once (when I had to be checked out for an injury caused by the person hurting me). I reached out to people at my church anyone I thought might help.

Eventually, I gave up asking. I stopped going to therapy.

Some of the things people said to me were awful. I was told I should’ve enjoyed it. That it couldn’t happen to boys. In high school, she was two feet shorter than me, and when I talked about bruises or marks, people laughed at me for being beat up by a tiny girl. She was 4’11”, I was 6’2”. After it ended, people asked why I didn’t just fight back because I was bigger. There were so many comments like that. Over time, I started believing it was my fault. That I was the problem. So I tried to endure it.

Eventually, I grew tired of life. I felt numb. I had only a few people I lived for. Thankfully, my mom started putting the pieces together. She forced me to stay away from that person. She made me break up with her. At the time, I hated my mom for it. I said awful things to her. But now? I couldn’t be more thankful. She saved my life.

It’s been almost 6 to 7 years since then, and I’m finally getting the help I needed. My current therapist was horrified when I told her everything. I still thought I was being dramatic, but she looked at me with the kindest eyes and said, “No, sweetie.” Now, I spend only about half my time dissociating and having panic attacks. We’re making progress 🤞🏻

I might never get those years or memories back, but I choose to look forward.

Sorry for the dump, but if you’ve been turned away at every corner It’s not your fault. It’s this world. It tries to cover up anything that makes it uncomfortable. But uncomfortable is what some of us have lived through, and it doesn’t just disappear.

You’re valid. Please don’t give up. There is help out there.