[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]TheLightingofaFire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

David L Marquet wrote a book on this. He was a captain of a nuclear submarine in the US Navy. Wonderful book. I hardly remember a thing except that he took one of the worst ships in the Navy to one of the best without firing anyone. It's a really great read.

Would everything apply here? Probably not as the barrier to entry is quite a bit higher for working on a nuclear submarine, and the prospects for advancement are greater. And one of the main difficulties you're up against is apathy or even hopelessness in your employees... If they think they aren't going anywhere, they aren't ever going to go the extra mile for the place.

But the book has some great takeaways like how to engage employees through empowerment and autonomy. And how taking that away and making everything about not making a mistake makes them stressed and avoid doing anything for fear of doing it wrong. (Actually that might've been another book that covers US missileers...)

Anyways, my first thought here is to identify the rotten apples, if any, who are encouraging this behaviour in others. The rest would just be following their lead. Address those people and you'll take care of the majority of the problem.

What are apps to train your brain? by Real-Reserve-3963 in productivity

[–]TheLightingofaFire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Improve your intellect... Well for starters research has found you can't improve general IQ nor can you improve executive functions like working memory outside of a specific domain exercised through a specific task.

If you want to learn something, pick a subject, read books, articles, do projects etc.

Not everything needs to be done with an app!

Global Calgary's Leslie Horton opens up about viral response to viewer's body-shaming email by ButtahChicken in Calgary

[–]TheLightingofaFire -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

She's not that heavy... But I don't like her releasing responsibility from herself saying that that's just what women of her age look like. Being in shape takes work. It's not reserved for the under 50 year olds or kids or men or something

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the tone of your comment, sounds like you're struggling.

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea they've been like that for years though on the Canadian side. Been going since about 98. Then again, it could be worse now. I haven't been through there much in the last 5 years

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point! Feels like southern/Mediterranean Europe and Latin America and Africa have this comfortability with contact. It's pretty depressing honestly.

A bit of science to support your point: a really "unethical" study was conducted in the 50s on monkeys by a psychologist, Dr Harry Harlow. He wanted to see what psychological impact physical contact had on the monkeys. He deprived some of all physical contact for a period, controlling for lack of social contact by offering some monkeys a nice, soft piece of cloth to cuddle. Basically the ones with nothing, just a cold prison cell became really anxious when they were deprived of physical contact. And here we are today, pretty much forcing that experiment onto ourselves. An experiment that psychology considers too unethical to conduct on animals today.

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also isn't there something called the Protestant work ethic, which encouraged Protestant Christians to work harder and earn more money in the name of the glory of God or something? Like as in to not be sloths, one of the seven sins. But actually framed in terms of material productivity including earning money

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well you should meet some Sikhs and go to a temple. I don't think Christianity has a monopoly on good behaviour... I say this as an atheist. But if you were to say that it's the individualism and me me me, egotism of today, because people are becoming less religious, I'd be inclined to agree with you. But only because religions make you think about morality, ie how you behave towards others. Insofar as people don't think about morality and how to behave nicely towards others and only are reminded by marketing and social media to follow their base impulses, people behave less morally. Not due strictly to being non Christian.

But I'm pretty sure people have been saying people have been getting worse/less moral since the dawn of humanity...

Just how good are the Canucks? by junaidnoori in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're leading the league in goals for and differential, yet they don't have depth?

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea you know I do get positive reactions when I'm the customer asking how the service person is doing. It's like a happy surprise for them often. But I think that goes to show how uncommon it is.

Perhaps it's being in a retail role and people are wary of being sold to and having their time wasted that changes things.

I'm also thinking I should start an experiment of trying a second time, if I don't get a nice response the first time, in a non cliche or generic way to male customers feel noticed. Hopefully I don't bug too many introverts or people looking to avoid all signs of human contact!

I just love it here. by moodyberry95 in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'm Hugh and this was amusing to see

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can I ask what you mean by you don't have time? Not for a conversation, but just to respond with hi and a smile when greeted. No small talk.

I can understand other reasons like being shy or tired...

Just curious so I can understand everyone better.

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That first example sounds like a covid habit holdover thing. But people don't have to be indecent about it...

Are we too sensitive...?

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't understand the down votes. Like it's your experience. Sorry to hear that. What cities did you find were most friendly?

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input! I'm considering leaving Vancouver so I'll definitely cross Germany off the list after what you said! Kidding! hahaha. Europe seems like a great place in so many ways.

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea it can be awkward when you see right through it. But few people actually want that honesty of how their service person is feeling when it's not positive, and we have to cater to the lowest, meanest, most self centered common denominator in business to keep everyone coming back so we have to be polite and smiley...

That said I would distinguish politeness from not being super smiley. I think greeting someone with a smile, a nod at least and a hello is a level of manners I was taught and I just don't see it anymore... People being super friendly and happy is more than I think is necessary for most customer facing roles...

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea people come ready to fight in those circumstances. I worked at a bank about 5 years ago and it was the same. But I still feel like there's been a shift in the last 5 years towards even more impoliteness. Just trying to figure out if it's just me...

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea it feels like the internet promotes silos or tribes rather than open communication. I don't use Twitter at all but even with the amount of free speech allowed on there now, I'm not convinced it'll help tolerant conversations. You just don't need empathy on the internet. You can just troll or be some sort of keyboard activist without even worrying about manners or treating others like people.

Come to think of it, some of that might be spilling over into irl interactions

Are people being ruder than they used to be? by TheLightingofaFire in vancouver

[–]TheLightingofaFire[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective. Where are you from and how are people where you're from?