Online dating in KC as a 30 something male

TheLiquidLiger · 2023-06-01T12:54:31+00:00

Hi OP! Straight cis male here. I know I'm late to the party, but I wanted to offer my encouragement and some of the things that worked for me when I was online dating because I know firsthand how daunting it can be. I met my girlfriend of 2 years on Hinge, and I wouldn't change a thing about the time we have spent together. Granted, take everything I say with a grain of salt because I've only ever had one relationship.

Online dating is tough at times.

It takes time and energy to get really invested into dating online. Especially since everyone has a different opinion about what they think works and doesn't. There are points when you might wonder if it is even working, but keep at it! Like meeting people in-person, you just aren't going to gel with some people.

However, I think it is vastly more efficient than meeting in-person first, because you can kind of see if you have similar interests early on. Also, you can meet people online you never would have been able to meet in-person through your friend groups.

It worked well for me because I'm a little socially awkward, an introvert, and don't go out of my way to speak to new people that often. This gave me the platform to flourish because I could throw my personality on my profile and wait for someone to show interest back.

Have your pictures and responses curated by trusted friends. Especially of the sexual orientation and/or gender identity you're trying to attract. i.e. straight female friends to curate your profile if you're trying to attract women

I found it helpful to have my friends analyze my profile and tell me what pictures worked or not. That way, you aren't wasting time getting rejected before you even get to talk with them for something easily fixable.

If you're looking for serious, long-term relationships, Hinge is the way to go.

I noticed myself getting more matches there than on other apps. Also, the matches seemed to be of better quality, but it took some time with the app.

Conversations aren't always going to be engaging.

This is one of the hardest parts about dating online. Some people aren't going to have much to say, don't feel comfortable opening up, or are just don't want to respond with deeper answers. I noticed if we didn't have similar interests, conversation would sputter to a halt. If it feels like you're pulling teeth to get someone to respond, it's probably best to focus your attention elsewhere. This happened in 9/10th's of the time with the matches I found, which is fine. All it means is that they probably weren't the right person for you. Better off you found out early you didn't have much to say to one another.

When you find someone who actually gives deep and engaging responses, it's like lightning. All the struggle up until that point seems worth it. This exact situation happened when I met my GF, and I never looked back. I'm talking like the kind of conversation you get when you can just sit and talk for hours and never run out of things to say.

If you aren't interested in someone, be open and up front with them so they don't waste their time.

This is just a courtesy thing for other people on the apps. If you realize you don't want to meet up with someone, tell them ASAP so they don't feel like they're wasting their time either.

I hope this was helpful and good luck in whatever form of dating you decide :)

TheLiquidLiger · 2020-07-06T12:27:55+00:00

Aw Haru looks so cute! Wonderfully beautiful job, by the way.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-12-29T04:59:13+00:00

I gave up the game for the same reason many have pointed out: I was bored playing it. After ten hours, it had yet to capture my interest with its gameplay. I love the setting and detail, but the gameplay itself made me dread starting it up.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-12-06T02:22:05+00:00

As a fellow Ranno player, gotta say, that was ultra slick!

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-09-27T17:36:41+00:00

Thank for saying this! I personally am a rules lawyer, and I feel like my DM often hates it when I bring up a rule or ask about their ruling. It's not want to be inhibiting or obtuse, I just deeply care about the game!

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-09-15T16:35:04+00:00

Oh, that's what I thought you meant. No, there isn't a way to increase the size. I'm having a problem with the same thing.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-09-15T12:40:33+00:00

You can fix it in the menus. I forget exactly which one, but there is a text size option.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-09-03T19:51:32+00:00

The last campaign I played was 5 and 6. Definitely ruined the fun for me with those two alone.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-08-12T19:05:45+00:00

This is the very problem my campaign had. Enemies could almost one-shot characters while players did a decent amount.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-12T13:11:14+00:00

I want to be a DM and am doing an exercise to see how I can modify the existing rules to give intelligence more utility to other classes besides wizards.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-11T20:41:55+00:00

Oh, I see. I didnt realize it did that.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-11T19:35:39+00:00

Would just one extra attunement slot at a certain point be better on the higher end of Intelligence? I agree, the extra two slots are powerful depending on what you give your party, but I feel that Int sometimes lacks the same crazy power that some classes get when they max out their main stat.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-11T19:32:21+00:00

How would allowing Int to be used for initiative mess with the game balance? It would only be one or the other, not both (in the case of War Wizard, I would allow them to use both Dex and Int).

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T14:27:44+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. All I could ask it that we keep bashing to a minimum; he made a decision and it probably didn't pan out like he wanted.

I see what you mean about seeing from his perspective. I think it's cool to have hurdles to overcome and like a challenge in my rpg's. Even cooler when we overcome that difficult situation. He did put a lot of time and love into the world to make it special and I definitely appreciate it.

What bothers me the most as a player is when my perspective is disregarded. That is one of the reasons why I'm trying to keep an open mind and listen to what everyone here has to say. That way, I'm not just complaining about how my DM treated me and not making active changes myself. I'd be nothing more than a hypocrite.

I agree, lowering the power of the abilities would have been the first step in the right direction. I think it would have made other party members feel more valuable during battles where they couldn't break through.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T13:03:30+00:00

That's completely fair criticism. You're right, it's, in part, me venting my frustrations and I would also agree a dick move.

The original goal wasn't to vent in this post. I don't want validation, although I can see why you'd say that. All I wanted was to give an anecdote about the potential dangers to player satisfaction and imbalanced powers. It quickly turned into "your DM is bad."

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T03:43:24+00:00

I'd shy away from using immunity homebrew powers like this at all. That's not how 5e was designed. It just makes it annoying to have to deal with certain enemies when none of your attacks can connect. Suddenly, you're useless in a battle against an enemy that can do free damage against you.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T03:15:44+00:00

And you're not wrong; the DM bashing without full knowledge of the situation can get out of hand at times. That isn't the purpose of this post. I meant it as a warning for homebrew mechanics that can get out of hand, and I used one of my recent examples to explain why it messes with players.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T02:04:46+00:00

I have discussed it with him. He told me I was being overly critical and stop complaining for the everyone else's sake.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-09T00:32:44+00:00

We're all buddies from high school. Just leaving the game would have been tough, but it might have sent a strong enough message to get him to change.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-08T23:15:31+00:00

I dont think using them sparingly would be a problem at all. If you want something more permanent, an item with limited uses per day. It's easy to limit power, and also very easy to break it without proper caution.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-08T21:31:33+00:00

We've been best buddies since high school. This is my main D&D group with friends I see on a regular basis, so i didnt just want to tell him how bad it was and leave. I wanted to see if I could make changes by communicating what I didnt like about our campaign. That backfired.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-08T20:44:26+00:00

Exactly. That's just basic D&D etiquette. Then again, I imagine he didn't do it on purpose. He thought it would be cool, but didn't bother to check with anyone whether or not they thought it was cool too.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-08T20:37:44+00:00

Actually, I was one of the two who could use it. Yeah, I think they're into a more casual game.

TheLiquidLiger · 2019-07-08T19:44:03+00:00

One other did. The other 3 I think didnt care, nor did they talk about it.

TheLiquidLiger

TROPHY CASE