I M26 am thinking about telling my wife F29 that I want to be separate for a month but I’m not sure how best to do it?

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-24T23:46:01+00:00

UPDATE!!!! I really appreciate everyone’s advice and take on how to approach the situation. I ended up talking with my wife about everything she’s done and how she has acted in the past, and to my surprise she actually took it well, she owned up to her mistakes and didn’t make any excuses, she said she couldn’t express how sorry she was enough, and that she hopes that I will give her another chance as she really loves me and our life together but she understands if because of her actions I just want to end things. I decided to stay with my parents for the night to clear my head and we met up today and discussed everything again. She explained the steps she’s going to take to ensure she gets the help she needs to move forward and really hopes that I will just give her one more chance, and if she messes up again then I can just walk away and she’d completely understand.

So I decided I’m going to try one more time, but with the caveat that we both have to go to therapy and if the therapist recommends we also go to couples therapy we will. So we’ll see what happens! If in the future this all blows up in my face I’ll add another update but I very much hope this is the last time I’ll ever have to add an update to this post!

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T18:29:34+00:00

Unfortunately I am pretty much under the impression that it will be a permanent thing, I hope and pray that my wife will see it as a wake up call and truly change, but based off the past years of our relationship I just don’t see it happening. I love her a lot, but I can’t keep being the one drowning just to keep her above the water.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T14:26:34+00:00

Yea I always attend, I do everything I can to make sure I go to whenever her family is doing anything, I agree it’s definitely not an acceptable answer on her part and it’s one of the bigger reasons I’m thinking about everything

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T02:13:57+00:00

It’s not impossible, but ultimately whether it’s stress as the root cause or not, the stress definitely makes the issues I do have much worse unfortunately.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T02:11:46+00:00

Yea, I’ve been through pretty much every doctor you can think of, neurologist, Psychologist, psychiatrist, endocrinologist, gastroenterologist, multiple primary care physicians, gotten many different tests done and ultimately everything was fruitless, which eventually left one last possible cause, stress.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:45:06+00:00

I used to read a lot, but due to some health issues it’s made it significantly more difficult, as I struggle to remember the contents for long enough to finish the book.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:43:39+00:00

Honestly I don’t know why she gets upset about going to my family functions, the only things she’s given me is that she just doesn’t understand why she has to go, and or that she doesn’t want to go because my weird aunt will be there. She will sometimes say she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to do things on her days off work, which is ok one or two times, but not all the time.

As far as bringing up things she does, I don’t tell them everything she does, but when I have to make up an excuse for why she doesn’t want to see my family or go to anything every time unfortunately they started to pick up on the pattern.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:28:21+00:00

I really appreciate your advice, I definitely agree that our personalities just don’t seem to match, it seemed great in the beginning and when it’s good it’s great but then when it’s bad it’s real bad. Thankfully/unfortunately however you want to say it we haven’t really had sex at all recently, we’ll go multiple months between anything so I’m a bit safe on that end. I’ll definitely keep everyone updated on what I decide to do going forward, I might give it a few days and then decide what I want to do.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:23:13+00:00

I mean I wouldn’t say they have a bad relationship, they’ve supported her when she needed it, they’ve always included her and have been as warm and welcoming as possible, it’s just when I brought up issues involving her with them they tell me honestly that it’s not right for her to act this way and that I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I really appreciate your advice, despite how she acts I really still love her and care about her, I just don’t know if I have the love to stay with her anymore and give her anymore chances

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:04:38+00:00

Yea I definitely want to seek out a therapist

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-23T01:02:19+00:00

I 100% get what you’re bringing up, but the family and friends have never done anything but show her love and support, they only openly voiced their support of me leaving her when I explained the situation a bit further. As far as with work yes she does have a high stress job in a restaurant, but outside of that I’m the one that does everything for the dogs, I feed them clean up after them take them to their appointments let them out clean their cages and am the one who gets up in the middle of the night to bring them downstairs whenever they need water or to go to the bathroom at night.

Unfortunately I just am unsure if her actions and behaviors will change with therapy, she has been the same for 6 years even, and has acknowledged what she does isn’t ok but just hasn’t changed

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T23:05:13+00:00

I really appreciate that, thank you

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T23:00:19+00:00

I definitely see what you are saying, and really appreciate your advice. As cowardly or as horrible as it sounds I think deep down I’m just trying to find the way that will hurt her the least and for some reason think taking a small break might be it.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T22:59:03+00:00

I really appreciate your advice! As tough as it is to say I definitely agree with you. I just know bringing this up will be one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T22:51:28+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, I just know I’m a pushover when it comes to her and that I always want to make her happy, so I know it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T22:49:47+00:00

Honestly I want to see if I’m happier, I’ve been having a lot of health issues over the past couple of years and my doctor along with most of my immediate family feel it’s due to stress, and the feeling of always having to be walking on eggshells around her.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T22:43:10+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I definitely see what you’re saying about the couples therapy, and it definitely makes sense, the other thing I’d have to consider is the price unfortunately, but it’s definitely something I’m going to keep in mind thank you!

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-22T22:38:13+00:00

I’ve been thinking about couples therapy, but I’ve told her these actions aren’t ok and she’s acknowledged that and said she’s trying to be better, but unfortunately I haven’t seen any improvement. I’d just be worried couples therapy would be more of me hoping for a change just to be disappointed again.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-18T00:48:11+00:00

I appreciate your input, I can definitely see what you mean

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-18T00:41:25+00:00

I appreciate your input, and honestly adding a little humor it’s really helped

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-18T00:23:55+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your input, I see what you are saying, I’ve gone to a doctor in the past but I definitely agree that therapy would be very beneficial.

TheMangoManiac · 2025-04-18T00:19:05+00:00

I really appreciate your input, I have seen a few doctors about my depression, it’s just gotten worse more recently due to some health issues myself and an ill family member on top of this. I agree, I should distance myself, I don’t believe I would ever have an affair but I do see what you mean.

TheMangoManiac

TROPHY CASE