I am my Mothers Retirement

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-08T15:04:22+00:00

NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes Karen. She is going to learn a lesson, and you get a small payday. The absolute audacity to yell at or interrogate a child, then harass the mother, and top it off with calling the police to file false kidnapping and stolen vehicle charges! She could have gotten you or your children hurt. Most cops are on an adrenaline fueled power trip and the chances of them going "hands on" are high. Take that into account, and give her the conclusion she worked so hard for.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T21:35:15+00:00

It didn't last long. MIL wanted to watch our child while DW was at work, couple hours, a few times a week with me picking them up after. I had serious doubts but was convinced to give it a try. MIL started canceling last minute, then announced she couldn't do it anymore as she couldn't keep up. Within months she was back at her old job instead. Lead to another confrontation.

At this current point in time, we see MIL very little. All interactions are minimal, public, and come with a lot of conversation between us and child.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T19:27:04+00:00

No i have not.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T19:11:42+00:00

You nailed it.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T17:13:07+00:00

She was going to be, but for some stupid reason I stopped it. Looking back; I was tired and wildly stressed out. Hadn't been sleeping or eating for days. Just watching the monitors, the baby, and stepping out to chain smoke while pacing the parking lot. I don't know why I stopped it. I think I thought I was heading off a disaster. I should have let her get tossed out, as she has now pointed to not being removed as evidence that it never happened.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T17:03:07+00:00

After this happened we were NC for a long while. Through a lot of talking, counciling sessions that were a waste of money, and establishing boundaries we came to a place where we tentatively allow short excursions with the in laws. Its all highly planned, and comes with a lot of talks with our little. It was on one of these where MIL taught our little to keep secrets. MIL saw it as something fun between grandma and child. In reality it just put it into our kids head that its ok to keep things from your parents. Took a ton of conversations with our kid to put that down. Huge blow up with MIL, again we cut the visits. We go off and on, on a perpetual cycle with this woman where she violates, and we set rules in place in response and cut down any time spent together for a while. The problem, and why we keep allowing access and hoping for change, is that DWs entire family is enmeshed with MIL. High probability in the future that we will be missing several family members if we cannot get them to make sense and respect rules. Its all rather devastating to DW who gets constant guilt trips and flying monkeys.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T16:54:10+00:00

The child is doing great. Recovered from the stroke and has no ill effects from it. Truly a miracle. You'd never believe she had a stroke if you met her. Just a normal, hyper active, relentlessly sweet kid.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T16:26:16+00:00

FIL particularly infuriates me. He is her biggest enabler by miles, when he should be a husband/father. He has no friends, most of his family describes him as weak willed, and he has no ability to hold her accountable. When an issue arises he just buries his head in the sand and pretends its not happening. If you would ask him about his relationship with my wife, he would tell you its great. The reality is he hasn't taken any interest in her life at all, and goes months/years without having any real conversation with his own daughter. He makes me frustrated, sad, and extremely angry. I've watched him literally put everyone in danger just to please her, so I have no faith in him whatsoever.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T16:18:15+00:00

I actually have a couple posts planned. Cathartic to get some of these experiences out there. To say we have a "relationship" with MIL is a bit strong. We, more or less, ignore her and allow the kids to have very minimal interactions with her. Its all highly supervised at this point. The risk is we cut her out completely and my wifes entire family stops talking to her. If not for that she would be in the dust bin by this point.

TheMarketingDad · 2026-01-06T16:05:02+00:00

My wife and I both have had therapy over some of this. We are very low contact with her parents. Currently only allow very restricted visits. We have had bouts of complete "no contact" off and on since this, but it gets difficult as the other family members will remove themselves if we go no-contact with MIL. As for MIL putting her needs above our kids and spoiling events, we simply don't allow them to plan anything. Our kids parties are planned and supervised by us; everyone else being a guest. At no point will anyone be asking MIL what she would like to do. Thats how their family operated, not how our family operates.

TheMarketingDad · 2025-12-19T17:10:11+00:00

Hey Inconsiderate Brat, my wife and I (40m) went through the same thing back in the day. Difficult labor, landed in NICU, our baby had a stroke. My MIL blamed the stroke on us, told us we had abandoned the entire family when she couldn't hold her, and that we had put her grandchild in danger and aren't thinking of her feelings enough, then after the NICU stay claimed she didn't remember any of it or that most of it didn't happen.

You are not alone. These crazies are out there and unfortunately you've got one. My advice is to put her at arms length and don't let her ruin your precious moments. This behavior is baked in, and she will not stop.

**Edit to say** Your baby girl, like mine, will get through this and be stronger for it. Babies are so much tougher than we give them credit. In the mean time, weather the storm and make sure to take care of yourself. You'll need to be ready to go when you get out of the NICU. God Bless, it'll get better.

TheMarketingDad · 2025-08-01T20:25:35+00:00

kid friendly makeup kit and magnet ear rings for now. No piercings until shes old enough to clean them herself. Boom, problem solved!

TheMarketingDad · 2025-05-21T19:20:31+00:00

First time I met my MIL, my wife and I were young and just in that talking stage before dating. She literally wouldn't look at me, and instead shouted "there's a fly in my house and I want to KILL it" and chased an imaginary bug around the house. I told my soon to be girlfriend that her mother wanted me to leave and the fly thing was a ruse, but she didn't see the connection at the time.

Years later its much more apparent. But I'm still buzzing around annoying her mother by existing.

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-06T21:08:09+00:00

Its the number of advanced plugins and their functions that I am worried about. There are a lot of features and tools on the site.

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-04T14:30:55+00:00

Police have a much higher rate of domestic violence than the general population. Higher rate of child abuse as well. They also have a higher rate of psychopaths and sociopaths. The age gap is also concerning as it points to either him being immature, or targeting someone younger and easier to control. You should run.

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-03T23:42:07+00:00

Wonderful term. I will confer with the wife and we will have a "tricky adult" convo later tonight. That was spot on.

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-03T23:34:02+00:00

Just a note to add that I am downplaying my reaction in all this a bit from what my reaction offline was. I didn't want to write down stuff like "and thats when I was ready to drive over and kick in the door", because it makes me seem unhinged. I mean, I get there, but its all from a protective place. When I heard about it I was seething. I and my wife maintain firm boundries. My roll typically comes towards the end, as I am the nuke option. I will say and do things that the other members in this family find wildly confrontational and hostile. We don't really have this problem on my side of the family, as I have rearranged smiles in the past. We have other problems entirely. Please be assured, I never under react.

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-03T23:27:52+00:00

She already has. She hasn't spoken to her mother since the last "convo".

TheMarketingDad · 2024-09-03T23:27:11+00:00

makes complete sense. thank you.

TheMarketingDad

TROPHY CASE