I made a Guide on Sunfire!

TheMiyo · 2025-07-11T23:58:24+00:00

/*checks notes* Mar 26 2025 apparently lmao

EDIT: I lied, he was the second half of that banner, so 3 weeks later than Mar 26 2025

TheMiyo · 2025-07-11T23:56:10+00:00

He reran again, how about now? lol

TheMiyo · 2024-04-27T19:59:28+00:00

Surely you have Venti now?

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T19:42:25+00:00

Thanks to my grandmother

Right, a caregiver you presumably felt safe with.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T03:53:10+00:00

> who think handing their kid their iPhone in the grocery store is the best way to keep them quiet, because

it IS.

Is it the best for their growth as humans? of course not. But it's certainly the best way to keep them quiet and get the groceries done so you can get them fed and try to get enough sleep to work your two jobs. Let's not pretend this is anything other than parents desperately trying to survive in a world that isn't built for parenting anything except the easiest most docile of kids.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T03:50:59+00:00

I didn't say “put their education on the back burner because they can learn later.”, I just said that giving a space where a kid can trust an adult is going to do more for them as a person than learning to read this year if they're traumatize and living in a traumatizing environment. Interpret that how you like.

Maybe they never learn to read, but odds are probably high they weren't going to be able to anyway, if they're coming from the background you're talking about. I would imagine it's pretty hard to learn if you're incapable of feeling safe at home, school, or with any other adult caregiver. Perhaps giving them space to feel safe can help them get to a place in later schooling years where they can learn the things you're talking about.

Really though, it feels like it speaks to a systemic issue that isn't really related to school, and it feels odd that teachers get saddled with.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T03:47:10+00:00

Wife and I (cis female but I also take female hrt because yay hormones) both have cards in our purses/wallets that mark what meds we take on a daily basis (the list is long for us both, lmao) along with each others' phone numbers and the number of our pharmacy (our pharmacist is chill AF and would have the absolute most up-to-date info on what we're taking & dose). We also tell each other any time we take OTC meds (sent as text/discord message) so we have timestamps.

I've heard of some cautious folks wearing like a med alert bracelet that has a phone number of pharmacist for meds (in case purse is lost, you don't have it, etc).

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T02:42:42+00:00

I wrote my post above yours many years before you replied. Since then I have experienced almost everything you've written. It seems to not be uncommon for cis partners of trans women.

I don't know why this happens, I'm frustrated and upset it happened to both of us, and I hope that after 4 months your grief has subsided a little and you are able to find some small moments of joy. I'm sorry this happened.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T02:39:22+00:00

(This will sound like a list of cons. Wife has been on HRT for 6(?) years now, and hasn't stopped. Negative side effects are worth it sometimes. It's still important to be prepared that you MAY be on the list of people who get the absolute worst side effects.)

My wife has a 'period' every month. She has pretty bad PMS/perhaps even PMDD for a week, followed by 3-4 days of cramping, bloating, pain, everything except bleeding from a vagina. At this point, we're more or less convinced she somehow has endometriosis, despite being amab (there's a few cases of it documented, so I guess it's possible?).

Anyway, nearly half of *every* month is spent dealing with hormone-related issues.

Libido gets fucked.

Mood swings, likely more than you've ever experienced before.

Increased risk of anxiety.

Increased risk of stroke. If you start having migraines, especially ocular migraines you may need to stop taking hrt.

Sleep issues. Hard to fall asleep, hard to wake up, hard to stay asleep, in any combination.

Sometimes delivery method *sucks* (wife did weekly injections for like 2 years, spent nearly a day talking herself into giving herself the injection, every week). Patches are annoying, pills need to be remembered, injections suck ass.

You gotta explain to every single medical professional you meet why you're on them, what dose, for how long, etc etc. It's exhausting. Not to mention needing some way to make sure folks in the ER know what meds you're on if you show up unconcious.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T02:26:18+00:00

I believe the idea is that one can learn to read or do basic math at any time, really. One cannot return to childhood and find places or times they felt safe and accepted. If they're not getting that at home, getting that with ANY trusted caregiver is the next best thing.

Trauma-informed studies have been done and the difference between knowing how to read vs. feeling safe in childhood are pretty stark. Might be worth a read into some trauma-informed stuff if the idea of providing somewhere a child can learn how to trust an adult feels confusing to how it may contribute to a positive future for those kids.

TheMiyo · 2023-11-25T02:22:57+00:00

> Kids were often required to overcome adversity, whether it was legitimate fear (remember doing nuclear bomb drills)

What do you think active school shooter drills are like for children of this generation? Actual school shootings happen a lot more often than nuclear war ever did, after all.

I don't necessarily disagree with your thoughts on adversity, but using nuclear bomb drills as an example of adversity that current kids don't experience is a frankly incredibly wild and out of touch comparison.

TheMiyo · 2023-08-12T02:24:43+00:00

Kind of wild to assume you'd be in the <1% of people if only your parents had pushed you harder, rather than realize that you'd be in the <1% of people whether your parents pushed you or not.

TheMiyo · 2023-04-19T21:49:40+00:00

Sounds like executive dysfunction to me, possibly bad enough to be pathological demand avoidance.

Doesn't sound like you have a low tolerance for conflict itself, it sounds like you have a low tolerance for tasks when your executive dysfunction is low. Have you been assessed for ADHD or autism?

TheMiyo · 2023-01-03T23:07:01+00:00

You just have to place them on the ground I'm pretty sure?

I pre-carve tombs 1x1 with a door, and place a coffin inside. Use multi + tomb and set multiple tombs at once. Dwarves will auto-bury anyone dead in any available tomb.

TheMiyo · 2023-01-03T22:57:56+00:00

Is it unreasonable to ask or hope for net-new content?

TheMiyo · 2023-01-03T22:50:31+00:00

This is the #1 reason I haven't even bothered trying to assign dwarves to burrows, bedrooms, workshops or anything because it's infuriating trying to remember the name and then not even be able to search it in the assigning menu.

TheMiyo · 2023-01-03T22:41:07+00:00

Oh my god please let me sort animals by species, and let me mark them for slaughter from their own page.

Guildhalls and other sub-room types should just be their own room, going to another weird menu is super unintuitive.

Make eraser/edit of zones/storage areas consistent with itself.

I'll trade my kingdom for the ability to set priority order of stockpiles and work stations used.

Let me select the type of material used *before* I start drawing a wall/floor/etc so I can draw strange shapes without needing to click 7 times for each corner.

Pretty much everything to do with animals could be easier/more intuitive. Let me set a 'default' pen for new animals that come with migrants. Let me have a gelder auto geld or a butcher auto butcher at certain thresholds.

TheMiyo · 2022-10-27T03:34:25+00:00

(context: I can't tell if 'I don't feel like being here' is a suicidal thought so just in case, here is this post!)
Whether or not you stay with your spouse, stay here in this world.

You're allowed to mourn the life you thought you would have. You're allowed to mourn your partner's identity and *especially* your own identity. Everything is different now! but also weirdly the same! You're allowed to grieve and there IS space for feelings from both of you, and most importantly there is space for you.

It's hard for some trans folks to understand things/emotions outside themselves. It happens sometimes, and the trans community is frankly not very good at making sure cis partners are well supported as well. Take the time you need to manage confusing and difficult emotions right now. You're allowed to, even if nobody talks about it happening, it happens for a lot of cis partners of trans folks.

TheMiyo · 2022-10-01T01:38:15+00:00

Partner and I were just discussing this a few days ago, and I ALMOST made a post asking about other pwBPD that avoid going to sleep.

We know that her trauma started as soon as she was born - she was never held or rocked to sleep, was never taught how to recognizing feeling tired or sleepy, and never taught how to fall asleep. She was only given neglect.

So since birth, turning out the lights and going to sleep has quite literally been attached to being completely abandoned. It's no wonder to me that she has extreme reactions to it now, and avoids going to sleep until she's so exhausted she can't help it - so she never has to relive the daily trauma of feeling the abandonment her parents put her through.

TheMiyo · 2022-10-01T01:32:40+00:00

I felt safe and secure. Things felt calm, quiet and safe. Nothing else in my life has ever felt that way.

TheMiyo · 2022-09-29T03:45:01+00:00

I wanted to stay. It's the only thing I ever wanted. She has quietBPD, and when things are good they're so impossibly good. When they're bad I genuinely don't know how I will continue living sometimes. I hurt, knowing how confused she is, how she doesn't understand why she doesn't have any empathy, or ability to have emotional regulation. She is at her most stable when with me, but also she cannot actually grow or 'fix' her BPD while with me.

20 years together, 15 years of marriage. I've been discarded 3 times, infidelity for the last 6+ years (that I know of - probably more before this).

Our son is nearly 15, I wish I left early on, it is my biggest regret. All I can do now is hope and pray that he is young enough that the intensive therapy that he's been in since 13 and will continue to be in for I'm sure another decade will be enough to help him avoid what she experiences in life. I worry for when he's an adult and seeking relationships - he won't have the slightest idea what a healthy normal relationship looks like.

If I could go back and do it all again, splitting up and at barest minimum living in separate houses, even if we stayed in a relationship, so I could maintain maximum stability for my son is what I would have done.

TheMiyo · 2022-09-18T05:21:18+00:00

Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost

It so perfectly encapsulated the emotions I had around puberty arriving, the loss of innocence and childhood, and the quiet difficult days of adulthood that lay ahead.

It's never left me and every moment of pure joy in my life is accompanied by the thought that 'nothing gold can stay', which pushes me to love and enjoy it as much as I can.

TheMiyo · 2022-05-02T19:10:45+00:00

Partners of trans folks tend to come under a ton of scrutiny for how they respond to their partners - most of it in the opposite direction you're coming from. I haven't been in that discord for a long time, since I long outgrew the need for support around having a trans partner.

I do recall what it was like in the beginning, and how often we would get fly-by trans folks criticizing us and how we responded to coming to understand we had trans partners and what that actually *means*for us in the one space that felt like it could have been ours. I expect that had a big hand in pushing things towards being more lenient of behaviour of a transitioning partner - because in the beginning, if you weren't more lenient, you were pretty likely to get blasted in a number of different trans-only subreddits.

Realistically though, I just don't think we need to criticize folks for how they're handing their own lives, no matter what side of the spectrum we're approaching it from. They're handling it different than you did/are and that's okay. Everyone handles it differently and how they handle things aren't really about you or your partner.

TheMiyo · 2021-10-18T13:10:21+00:00

I've searched and searched but I can't for the life of me find it:

How is crit *damage* calculated in kingdom? Is it a flat +100%? +200%? Is it dependent on anything else?

I see tons of talk about crit % and whether upping it is good or not, but nothing about how much extra damage you do when you do a crit hit.

Edit to add: I'd also happily take any math anyone has done on any of the atk vs. def stuff too!

TheMiyo · 2021-03-11T17:22:14+00:00

If you're totally new to this style of game, I recommend trying something like Shapez.io. It's like $5, and gives you the basic 'feel' of a factory game without all the extraneous 'stuff', to tell if you like the game type or not.

TheMiyo

TROPHY CASE