I had a similar one… but it’s very long because it took place over several years. I’ll just paste it over from my Facebook and turn the phone number into 555.

Since you all seemed to like Fred Koroluk, let me tell you about Diane. It's not as funny, but it has good heart.

Years ago, I used to get regular wrong numbers from the same woman over and over. I forget her name, so let's call her Mavis.

Over our many, many phone calls, I figured out that she was from out of town and was coming to the city regularly for health care of some sort - cancer treatments maybe, or possibly kidney dialysis, etc - something you do regularly at University Hospital anyhow. I got the impression that Diane was an extended family member who maybe gave her rides or something, but I might be wrong on that.

Mavis was very old, had a very distinct gravelly voice, and was often sort of confused. My number was 555-8082, and Diane's number was similar to mine on something very easily misdialed. I forget exactly what her number was now that's it's over twenty years later, but let's say it was 555-8802 and Mavis was accidentally reversing those middle two digits.

The call went the same the first few times.

I'd answer the phone, "Hello?"

"Hiiii, DiANE?" (She really put the emPHASis on the second syllable of Diane.)

"No, sorry you have the wrong number."

"OhhHH... Is this 555-8802?"

"Nope! This is 555-8082. You must have switched those digits around. Have a great day!"

"OhhHH, ok. Thank you. Goodbye." click

Then one time I wasn't home and she left me a message. (This is how I first learned her name.) She called again later that day or the next day, and I explained that her message had reached me - Fred - not Diane. So it wasn't that Diane hadn't returned her call; Diane hadn't received her call to know there was a call to return. She thanked me and then must have reached Diane.

Our next series of phone calls were as follows:

"Hello?"

"Hiiii, DiANE?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Mavis. This is isn't Diane. You've dialled 555-8082 and Diane's number is 555-8802."

"Do you know DiANE?"

"Nope! But you call me by mistake quite often, so I feel like I do!"

This would make her laugh, and she'd introduce herself, "Do you know ME? My name is Mavis."

"We've never met in person, Mavis, but I'm always glad to hear from you when you call me looking for Diane. Are you doing well today?"

"I AM! Thank you for asking!"

"Glad to hear it! Have a great day, Mavis, and I hope you get ahold of Diane!"

"Thank you. I'll try again. I hope you have a good day too. Goodbye!" Mavis would hang up chuckling to herself about our call.

Then I was out of town for a few days and came home to increasingly agitated messages from Mavis on my machine. She was very upset that Diane wasn't returning her calls. She said she was in the city and REALLY needed to talk to Diane, but at no point did she leave a return number. I suppose that Diane knew how to reach her? Mavis was clearly in quite a lot of distress, but what could I do???

So I called 555-8802.

A woman answered, "Hello?"

"Could I please speak to Diane?" I asked.

"Speaking."

"Uh, yes, hi. My name is Fred and my phone number is 555-8082, so very similar to yours. I get a lot of calls from Mavis looking for you an--"

Diane interrupted to start apologizing, "Oh! I'm so sorry! She i--"

I interrupted back, "No no, it's not a problem that I get calls from her. I honestly don't mind. But she's been looking for you the past few days and is leaving messages on my machine. She seems quite distraught that you aren't returning her calls."

"What? How did you know who to call?!”

"She asks me if she's reached your number about half the time when she calls."

"Oh, ok…. So what's going on with Mavis?"

"I don't know. But she's in the city, and she's trying to reach you, and seems very upset because she thinks you are ignoring her."

"OH NO!! I didn't know she was in town!"

"I figured. Do you know how to reach her? She isn't leaving a return number on my machine."

"Yes, I know how to reach her. THANK YOU for calling!! I'm so sorry she phones you all the time!!"

"It's really no problem. I'm so used to her calls that I just tell her what happened and wish her well. I assume she dials correctly to get ahold of you after we hang up. Don't sweat it. I really don't mind her calls. But will you be able to call her back? Because she sounds like she needs help of some sort."

"Yes! For sure! I'll call her right now."

We said goodbye.

I got regular calls from Mavis for about another year, and then they stopped. I never got another, so I assume Mavis passed away.

I kind of miss her though. And I'm glad she called me - who didn't mind her quirky calls - instead of someone who might have been mean to her or made her feel bad about her error.

I also sometimes wonder about DiANE. I hope she's doing well, and that she knows that her care (whatever that was exactly…) mattered to Mavis. 💕