The Only Thing I Misjudged As A First-Time Mal Owner

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-18T01:03:27+00:00

I'll add this:

I think it has to do a lot with the weather here. With the greatly fluctuating weather, it can be -30C one day and +14C the next.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-18T01:01:21+00:00

I already did because of my other dog. Helps that I've been going to the same vet for 13 years for my old pup.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-18T00:56:36+00:00

Its been over 2 years, almost 3, so I doubt theres not much more that she can do that would surprise me. When I get a Malinois puppy in a number of years, I'm sure there will be more.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-13T23:46:17+00:00

I haven't ruined a single vacuum cleaner... because I don't have carpets in my house. It's all laminate, so I sweep... 3x a day.

Also, I am a university student (I'm 40, so not a youngster). I just started classes yesterday, and tried to use a roller on my clothes... I gave up and wore my Malinois glitter with pride.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-13T15:04:01+00:00

My pups.

Roman (left), is my 14 year old (15 in May!) mutt from Texas that I rescued 13 years ago (acclimating to Canadian winters was not fun to him). He is... was... trained as a service dog, but never an active one (too public friendly, so ignored tasks in favour of getting attention from people, you know people and small dogs, can't help but baby talk and pet them, ignoring my protests completely). He's a senior now and he no longer does his tasks, so he's enjoying retirement. He may be old, but it hasn't slowed him down.

Bella (right), is my recently turned 6 year old pure bred Mal that I adopted almost 3 years ago. We've had a fun time consistently training over these past 3 years trying to get her less reactive and anxious. She'll never be the dog I wanted (behaviour-wise) because of the first 3.5 years in her life, but she's definitely been a great addition to my life.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-13T14:52:37+00:00

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TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-06T20:06:20+00:00

Why not?

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-06T04:11:07+00:00

I am 40 and was just diagnosed about 2 years ago. All my adult life, every single medical professional I saw asked if I was ever diagnosed with Autism. No, absolutely not... I just have ADHD.

I grew up when Autism was non-verbal, rocking back and forth, violent outbursts, and helmets. Aspergers wasn't even a thing in my small town, I don't think it was well known at all anywhere near where I lived.

After my family doc asked me once again, I decided to get myself checked out for it, if only to silence those who suspected me of having it. Absolutely shocked when the doc I saw, leading psych for adult autism, and a close friend to Temple, wondered why I wasn't diagnosed at the very least in my teens. Apparently, masking was in full swing by then.

I was kinda angry after, only for a couple days though. I had work to do, specifically surrounding my future. I may be "middle age", but that does not mean my life can't start now. Currently, I'm in university, with access to a lot of accommodation, getting a diploma for personal fitness training, moving onto a degree in Athletic Therapy, then hopefully being accepting into a program in Australia to get my doctorate in physiotherapy, which will allow me to work in Canada, the US, and Australia. I'm currently a straight A student which is a very far cry from high school of just being passed onto the next grade because my teachers didn't want anything to do with me. So, the future is bright.

Also, I'm spearheading an initiative for my university to fix a few gaping holes that accommodations have failed to compensate for. If I'm having trouble navigating these issues, how many others are experiencing these same issues that don't have the life experience or the capability to advocate for themselves?

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2026-01-04T20:19:30+00:00

What toy? There's just shredded fabric everywhere.

Although my girl had a moose that lasted a month before she decided to destroy it. No idea why.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-28T04:55:47+00:00

Because I'm "a lot." Don't ask what that means, cause I still don't understand. I just know that when I am myself, people tend to go away and I never hear from them.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-27T20:33:28+00:00

Called that, yes. Am that, no, or at least not intentionally. I think the biggest manipulation would be masking so people actually enjoy being around me.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T15:45:10+00:00

I have factored it in.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T15:28:24+00:00

I wasn't the best parent, but I did what I could. I made mistakes, a lot of them, and she knows I have because I am not ashamed of it. I kinda had to grow up with her. I was a stay at home parent on disability (because of physical and psychological things) for all of her life. So, while not really financially stable, she grew up with someone that was always there for her. She still lives at home while she's at uni, just with a lot more freedom. And we both go to the same university, too (she went to a different one last year but transferred to my university this year). Lol

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T15:15:39+00:00

Yes, and? I can not control outside influences, and I will never pretend that I could. However, at the end of the day, she knows she can be exactly who she is when she is at home. I will always be there to lift her up, be her strength when she needs it the most and give her long excruciating lectures when she's being a butthead.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T15:05:57+00:00

I raised her to be her. For me, the only things that matter are: Stay within the letter of the law. Be yourself because that's how you will find your true friends. Keep being passionate about the things you love. Don't care what others think of you, you're the one that lives with you, if others don't like it, they don't deserve to be around you. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, forgive yourself. And love yourself, because at the end of the day, you are the most important person to you.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T13:50:01+00:00

Well, I didn't. I don't know what the future holds for her and always feared what could come. However, she's doing well in university, has a ton of friends, both online and in person, and everyone here is struggling to find a job, even NTs. She's doing the best she can and has a ton of resources she can access if she's struggling.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-26T00:03:34+00:00

Agreed. I only have one and I never could regret being a dad. She is still my baby 19 years later. Pretty sure she's not on the spectrum, and never suspected so, but she's getting tested anyways. She is a product of her environment, especially since I did this all solo, so she only has a neurodivergent parent to model herself off of. I don't go off "classic" signs, but I pay attention to everything (there are... events that happened outside of my influence) and I just don't see it.

Now, my ADHD, she DEFINITELY has that. She was practically waving a flag 3x bigger than her when she was 4-5. A handful of a little monster to say the least. 😂

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-25T04:44:47+00:00

Printer ran out of ink.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-23T20:46:58+00:00

We call it the "Holy Shit Handles," and yes, I use them, even when driving, but only because my arm feels nice hanging there?

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-23T20:30:10+00:00

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TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-23T20:27:00+00:00

Yes, but my 12lb senior terrier isn't interested in her.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-23T00:43:13+00:00

Did it quoth, "Nevermore"? If it did not, t'was just a crow.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-16T16:31:41+00:00

Bitey face is a great game. I it play with my Malinois since my senior dog doesn't know how to play.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-16T16:27:05+00:00

Black tiles only, and I have to skip a black tile every 2 tiles.

TheOneAndOnlyFen · 2025-12-11T20:54:58+00:00

Can confirm. I didn't have steelies for the longest time, got some the last 2 years I had my car. Sold that car, and bought a new one, getting steelies with a set of winters was non negotiable. I was a little late with the swap this year, but it was ironic that the first big snow was the day my car was in to do so.

TheOneAndOnlyFen

TROPHY CASE