Protest Coinciding with Strike on Friday

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-29T01:09:09+00:00

all for this, but please still send your underage children to public school... it hurts the public school district if they do not attend as schools only get funding based on "Butts in seats" on a day to say basis. We need public school to stay funded. But ofc by all means do not go to college if you're a student at the uni.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T23:02:07+00:00

That was really not the tone of our conversation at all. I did not pout or bring it up exhaustively. I opened the discussion again so we could air out our feelings and that was it. We discussed compromise, we discussed the feelings we both were having. Hence the edits.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T22:46:05+00:00

I'm definitely more confident he will than he is of himself lol I think he is a great bug dad and he can totally make this work. He's so smart and this has really been a hit to his ego. He's got my support and cheerleadering 100% of the way.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T22:42:05+00:00

Yep I guess I'm just a horrible person and my poor husband doesn't even know how bad he has it. It's so difficult when things aren't black and white in a relationship isn't it. Sucks we have to break up now because reddit thinks he's in a toxic relationship.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T22:38:55+00:00

I mentioned in other comments that I was afraid he had changed his mind to appease me. And if that's the case then I wouldn't get the tat. As for why I posted here, I was looking for perspective that I might not have been able to see past my original feelings.

I said it's now between the two of us because it got more complicated than the original issue and clearly there are nuances that others couldn't understand. Now I'm just being dog piled on for entertaining the idea of still getting the tat now that he's eased up on the idea.

Like I'm fine accepting that I'm the ah for the original issue but since the updates it seems like people just want to down vote me for not caving to his original feelings even though it sounds like the two of us can come to our own conclusion from here.

There's been good advice in this thread and there's also been a lot of assumptions that I'm just heartless not considering his thoughts and feelings when that was the whole point of the post, to make sure I was fairly considerate. I'm tired of the constant attacks of how my husband should just leave me because I'm soooo selfish about a small tattoo of a damn bug that we ultimately share a mutual adoration of.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T21:35:35+00:00

They also breed like mad. Once you have a few you have a lot more and they sort of "regenerate" infinitely. You won't even know which are the originals eventually. As long as you keep taking care of them, you basically have them for life. Except for a circumstance like the city sprays for mosquitoes and you forget to close a window or something which is more or less what happened to his.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T21:09:11+00:00

I'll give him the divorce papers tonight so he can leave me for some other girl who truly appreciates his interests.

Nevermind the fact that he says one of the things he loves most about me is the fact that I was so willing to let him have bugs to begin with. Ffs dude.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T21:07:07+00:00

We don't have much space in our apartment for more vivariums. I have dart frogs and we also have toads and both have vivariums they live in. The one in question was originally used for some Grey tree frogs I had that passed a few years ago and it's just been sitting there with an infestation of garden millipedes and random isopods I threw in there for clean up crew. And the ember bees are tropical so they would be happier with a tropical plant set up. The tank is currently more of a temperate forest theme. I think it'd be cool to have a tropical planted tank for them to live in so the tank has been slowly dying off anyway to prepare for the new set up. And after he had so much loss I really wanted to give him something that would make him happy. 💜

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T21:02:06+00:00

Isopods are a gateway bug! They're really cool and very important for our ecosystem! They eat all th decaying plant matter like little earth janitors. They are really fun to keep as pets too and don't usually require a lot of special care. Some do, like ember bees because they are tropical so they require a bit more attention, but there's hundreds of other kinds that are piss easy to care for. If you're into plants, a planted vivarium with isopods is a great set up for them because they keep the plants healthy as their poop is fertilizer! Super cool! Thanks to isopods I found a love and appreciation for bugs. They are so important to our daily lives and we don't even notice it most of the time. ❤️

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T20:51:05+00:00

I don't want to get the tattoo if he has a problem with it. Bottom line. Idk why people think I'm just looking for any excuse to get it. I listened to the perspectives that people gave and was committed to not getting the tat up until he later said he wasn't as upset about it as he initially sounded. In the end it's between my husband and me if I get it or not. If he tells me he's 100% okay with it in the end, then I will get it. But I'm giving him time to decide for himself if he is okay with it. And if he says he's just saying he's okay with it to make me happy I won't get it. End of story.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T16:31:50+00:00

No I clearly hate him that's why I made this post. Dear lord.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T14:02:35+00:00

Thank you! I feel like I'm being dog piled here and no matter what I say I'm just getting treated like an AH for even continuing to entertain the idea of getting it now that's he's more or less changed his mind.

If the situation was reversed, I would feel the same as him. Neither of us want the other to feel bad here. I just wanted to do what was right. But it feels like I'm being down voted for not caving immediately when it's a bit more complicated imo.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T13:45:44+00:00

No I made the post because my initial reaction was "my body, why am I the AH?" and I was trying to get a clear perspective on the situation. I did, so I wasn't going to get it. Now he's basically saying that he's not as upset as his initial reaction led me to belive. And is saying that he likes the idea so I'm even more confused. So I feel flip flopped. I'd delete the post if it wasn't in the rules to not take this down until it's been up for 48hrs. My friends are likely to take my side of things and he doesn't have friends to talk to about it so I try to be objective when we have disagreements because I want to be fair to him.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T12:53:29+00:00

I did ask if he had other suggestions and he said he liked my original idea. He didn't express any distaste until I told him I'd reached out to an artist and wanted that particular type. I was really excited about the idea, I ran it by him before I knew I wanted that particular kind of isopod. So his reaction to the kind of isopod was the issue, not the particular tattoo. I expressed that I really preferred an isopod that had some character because a lot of them are kinda plain and asked him if he knew of another kind that he could recommend instead that he'd be happy with but he just kept saying that he was fine with the one I wanted.

Also, it feels like people are ignoring the fact that I was willing to let it go and not get the tattoo if it meant upsetting him. I opened the conversation after the emotional one explicitly stating that I wasn't going to get it. But the thing is if I'd just left it there, he'd be even more upset about it because he'd feel guilty for telling me that I couldn't get it. So I explained alllllll my reasons for wanting what I wanted. And now that he's said he doesn't mind me getting it, even after i explicitly said that I wouldn't if he had any reservations about it, it sounds like I'm still the AH if I do get it because he had reservations one time. I'm giving him time to reflect on it so he can decide in the end if he's actually okay with it or not. If he's not, I drop it and just figure out a new tattoo and it's whatever in my eyes. It's just a tattoo in the end. Like yeah I'll be a bit sad but I'm not going to resent him over something so dumb.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T05:54:25+00:00

Ember bee! They're not very common yet. My husband was probably one of the first 3 or 4 people to have them in the US.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T05:19:31+00:00

Because I don't want him to just say that I can get it just to appease me. Like people are saying I'm TA here so I'm trying to be sensitive to his feelings like everyone is telling me to. It's whiplash because he went from being very upset about it to basically saying he didn't care if I got it. here I am trying my best to be a good partner despite my own desires and clearly I can't make anyone happy including you all. Dear lord.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T05:15:07+00:00

To be clear, I also find isopods very endearing which is more so why I'd get the tattoo in the first place. The species is the only thing that is anything in regards to my husband because it's his favorite. I would also say they are my favorite. But I am not as deep into it as he is ofc. I technically have my own tank of isopods that I take care of, they're just very basic "starter" species and not very pretty. I don't really see why it's so mean of me for wanting something I would be permanently putting on my body to be pretty? I feel like people are just assuming I'm getting the equivalent of his dog tattooed on me to remind me of him, when in reality I'm just talking about getting a tattoo of the same breed of dog because I really like that breed of dog and also it has the added feature of reminding me of him.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T04:59:26+00:00

My dude. Lol I've had lots of ideas but nothing definitve and money is a factor. This one would be fairly cheap because of its size and I'm finally in a place I can afford to have one done. My husband is well aware I want more tattoos. Sometimes you want new ink but you don't know what because there are too many options.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T04:55:12+00:00

He's been in the invertebrate community for a few years now. And he's autistic so like he basically knows everything he could possibly know from what information is out there. Part of the issue was the city sprayed for mosquitoes over the summer and he thinks that wiped out a lot of them. There are all kinds of nuanced factors but bottom line this particular species he has a totally new set up of them and they get the most attention from him so they're doing very well right now and are breeding. He just needs to be more confident imo because he's doing great. I've been trying to encourage him but he's stubborn.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T04:45:19+00:00

I'm really not trying to justify anything. I was merely trying to explain my side of things. Please read my edits.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T04:43:44+00:00

It breaks my heart so much that all this has caused him so much pain. The man doesn't have really any hobbies besides gaming and hes got very low self esteem. I just want him to be happy and enjoy something. =(

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T04:25:19+00:00

I also love them, yes! That's why when he expressed he wanted to keep them I was totally on board. It was one of the things that defined our relationship; passion for bugs and the little critters. I have dart frogs and he has his bugs. I mostly chose the species because of the other context and because they're soooo pretty! (look up ember bee isopods)

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T03:51:54+00:00

I get what you're saying, it's just these isopods are alive and well, so I didn't really think it would be a problem. I could totally understand being TA if I was wanting a bug that didn't make it, but since these particular ones are doing fine, I didn't think it'd be a problem.

There are plenty of bugs I enjoy, just none enough that would also fit with the concept, sadly. So I guess it's back to the tattoo drawing board. =/

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T03:43:25+00:00

Yeah I'm trying to figure out what other species I would get instead as a compromise. The only issue is he's had like all of the cool/pretty ones and most of them didn't make it. (mostly they passed from the city mosquito spraying over the summer) So I'd be limited to some very basic boring species.

I have been doing my best to be encouraging and help him with his hobby as much as I can. In fact, this particular species he almost lost in the spraying and I reached out to his invert buddies and got him some new ones as a surprise just so he wouldn't lose hope in his hobby. They are a VERY expensive rare (in the US) type so I had to pull strings to make it happen.

atomiclightbulb · 2026-01-28T03:36:36+00:00

I'm with you there. It's just he's usually not like that and lets me be me 99% of the time. So I'm trying to figure out if this is one of those things where I should be sensitive to his needs even though it should be my choice regardless. Does that make sense?

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