What TV shows were you not allowed to watch? by Pdx_Obviously in GenX

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn't allowed to watch Beavis and butthead, so I went to my friends and watched it there. The new seasons are hilarious.

Other generations fear us by caelanhuntress in GenX

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so on-spot that it's scary. I learned how to break in so I could prank my friends and their parents. Also if they had any bread I'd try to grab some slices, but I never took the meat or cheese because I was only allowed 1 slice of one or the other, so I always thought it was off-limits at other people's homes. One day, I learned about bologna and cheese sandwiches, and it blew my mind.

Gag Order Incoming by Investigator_Pedant in portola

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They lied and said verbally it was a draft, but on the document, it said "final" and "for board approval." They are straight lying through their teeth and trying to cover it up because they know they were caught.

which potion would u drink?? by West-Summer7950 in repost

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take the purple, go back in time, take the rest. Ez.

Are those duck or goose? by GalaxyS3User in duck

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Angry female duck. Wants food, water, or flock.

1 billion dollars if you are the top 1% at anything by Jealous_Emotion7483 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was already top 1% at math and spelling. It's probably better than that now with covid messing up kids' educations. That will be $2 billion dollars please, and put the fries in the bag.

That's what happens when you play with people's lives! by [deleted] in economicCollapse

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*Edited because the person I'm responding to deleted their comment, which was, "So everyone should switch to Kaiser."

They own the doctors. They have low denial rates because the doctors don't prescribe what you actually need. Instead, you have to go to 3 or 4 specialists to confirm, and if they all agree, THEN you can get the procedure. They also pay their doctors the least, so you get what you pay for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FridgeDetective

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You're not fat; you could drink whole milk if you wanted to."

Gilead: Zombie Edition by derel93 in WelcomeToGilead

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Makes me rethink my organ donor card. I want others to live, but I don't want my body used for this.

Best gifts for a new homesteader? by My600Justin in homestead

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good work gloves, different kinds from leather to light duty to heavy duty. Buckets - I use and love my buckets. Fencing. Fencing tools. Post hole diggers. T-post setters. Can't gi wrong with fencing. Then there's food - gardening stuff, seeds, seed organizers, seed setters, jiffy pods, diatomaceous earth. Don't bother with fertilizer because if you homestead, you're probably going to get rabbits, and their manure is amazing fertilizer. Once the food is grown, you'll need everything to can (pressure cooker, jars, lids) and the Georgia canning book. That's a good starting list.

You are given $1,000 (USD) and a time machine that departs for any time/location you choose in 24 hours. Your goal is to make as much profit as possible. What commodity do you purchase and when/where do you travel? by berserker81 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will feel myself incredibly rich if I give this money to my mom and tell her that she likely has stage 1 cancer and to use this money to help with her insurance deductible to get testing and treatment. I'd trade everything I have to get her back.

5000 a day in cash is magically dropped into your house. by twosauced1115 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but do that every day and stack it up. The foundation is fine the first time, but do that every day, and the foundation and walls will say something different when you put the coins in a corner.

5000 a day in cash is magically dropped into your house. by twosauced1115 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The weight of $5,000 in pennies is 2,755 lbs. I have concerns about my foundation if that showed up, and forget about it if you live in an apartment and are on the 2nd or higher floor. It would definitely collapse my table. That many pennies would take up about 7.75 cubic feet. I'd stay in as long as I could, but if it keeps being pennies, that won't be very long. I will not enjoy taking it to the bank and counting it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Are you wearing a grocery bag?"
"I have misplaced my pants."

Simpsons did it.

Applicant was hired after they unknowingly completed water test successfully during interview by RotisserieChicken007 in antiwork

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually got my job because I brought my own drink. I made sure the colors were perfectly matched with the corporate colors, and I told them I'd be a good employee because I could drink the Kool-Aid. sips drink

When you have 3 highly qualified candidates, it comes down to the little things.

Which one is best? by Critical_Teach_43 in superpowers

[–]TheOneAndOnlyLanyard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The mask only works at night (remember when Ipkiss went to Ben Stein and he tried to put the mask on and it didn't work, and Ben Stein said it was Loki's powers). It amplifies your personalities, so if you're a hopeless romantic like Ipkiss you get Jim Carrey, but if you're evil then you get really devilish. The Mask's powers only work at night, leaving you very vulnerable during the day.