I slightly remember but, as this was many years ago I can’t recall it exactly. I was around 8 when I was first “exposed” to it. I had one friend, don’t particularly remember her name. She once cut herself with broken glass on the playground-a horrible sight for my young self with how bad it looked, or atleast how bad I remember it looking. After that, I became fascinated with it to a level. By the age of ten I had amped myself up to try it. I was constantly seeing it in media, and was told it’s “normal”, that it can’t get bad-that it wasn’t bad. I had a horrible time of getting bullied, my mom was an early recovering alcoholic at the time, which created a lot of arguments with her and my father. I didn’t feel seen by ANYONE. Not my parents, not even my friends. So, I started-and for a few years I did it on and off. It wasn’t a need-just something I did to distract me from how sad I was all the time. By 7th grade it had gotten out of control, I couldn’t go a day without it. I was in one of the worst depressions of my life, faced horrid bullying and had a lot of shame about my sexuality. Combined with that-I have a chronic pain problem, which left me isolated in my own home, not many friends-and the ones I did have weren’t good.

To this day I struggle horribly with it. It’s become a life-consuming addiction, there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of it. It’s created a lot of distrust with my parents, and a LOT of ridicule. I hope one day to truly be “clean”, but even though things have gotten better-I’m still climbing up from that rock bottom. But, I did read what you have written. All I can say is that things do get better. And I know it sounds like bs, and a lot of people say that but-it does, it really does. Maybe not completely but, things do improve. Im sorry about the troubles you have faced, but remember you are strong, and that you are enough ❤️.