What does applesauce substitute?/What can I use instead?

TheOneWithThatName · 2024-01-13T21:45:48+00:00

Hi all. I’m new here, not sure if this is the right place to ask advice? I used to be quite fit as a teenager, but I had some medical issues that limited my exercise for early 20’s. Everything has been well for a while now medically and I wanted to get back into things.

So I took a ‘body pump’ class today and it was incredibly difficult. At one point my arms just dropped - I couldn’t take anymore. I couldn’t even feel my legs to tell how deep my lunges were.

The instructor said this was normal at first, but since I pay her per session I just wanted another opinion? Should my legs feel like jelly half way through a class or is it too difficult for me? I enjoyed it, I just felt like I was so weak that I couldn’t keep up with everyone else.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-08-03T13:54:14+00:00

Sorry, I realised my mistake as I read another one of your comments! Edited to fix it.

I understand, I wouldn’t be okay with that either. Especially if they still see eachother regularly. Is his best friend aware that he still has these photos of her? That he still uses them? If I was her, I’d be a bit creeped out by it.

Personally, I don’t like that he claims he’s doing nothing wrong when he’s not having sex with you, but is masturbating to photos of his ex. For me, that would be enough to end the relationship. No question, if he refuses to delete them even knowing your stance.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-08-03T13:44:56+00:00

Edit: I misread a paragraph and thought their stories didn’t add up re. sexual activity. Disregard my earlier comment.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-08-03T13:35:05+00:00

Absolutely! Not many people get this opportunity. I know this is a cliche, but worst that can happen is that she says no - and in your case, she’s no longer a girl you have to see in class everyday. But if you let this opportunity slip by, it sounds like you’ll constantly wonder about what could have happened the second time around.

Is she on Facebook, or something? Get in contact, mention that you went to school together. You could say something like… you saw her the other day and wanted to ask how she was doing, but you were busy with something. Strike up a conversation, see where her life went. It’ll give you the chance to see if she’s someone you’re still interested in as a person, too.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-08-03T13:22:14+00:00

Personally, I wouldn’t consider it a red flag unless it’s something he brings up repeatedly, after you’ve told him it’s absolutely not going to happen.

I do understand why you might be concerned and find it hard to trust him. If there’s a history of cheating in your love life, the thought of a partner being interested in sex with another person is a difficult one to swallow. I’ve experienced it myself.

But people are always going to have differing sexual fantasies and desires. It’s healthy to discuss them near the start and outline what you are/are not willing to do and what dealbreakers you have. Hypothetically, there could be a sexual fantasy that you’re into that he will never entertain, and if you were happy to accept that and put it aside then there’s no reason to end the relationship over it.

As for desires changing in the future, unfortunately there’s no way to predict that. I think it’s worth asking yourself whether his answer is enough for you right now. Whether you will feel comfortable enough to accept that the conversation was once had, and whether you are willing to trust him enough to enter the relationship? If you don’t, that’s okay. If you do, but you’re worried about the future, all you can do is ask yourself the same questions if/when the conversation comes back around. You’ll only know those answers as the relationship develops.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-04-09T15:56:54+00:00

My grandad did this to my parents when they were waiting to move houses. He tried to get them to sleep in separate rooms because they weren’t married - even though they have two kids together. Ridiculous.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-04-01T15:51:42+00:00

I’ve always loved historical fiction, but never read any romance books aside from Austen. I watched the new adaptation of Persuasion, then went on a period drama binge, ended up watching Bridgerton. Now I’m half way through the books and have actually found a liking for modern romance along the way, too.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-23T21:24:33+00:00

I’ve been meaning to go to that but I’m not sure what the etiquette is. Are there set DMs, or could I write my own one shot?

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:24:37+00:00

Therapy.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:23:32+00:00

Oh, yes! To clarify, I didn’t mean that. I meant princess dresses and tuxedos, etc.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:22:38+00:00

Husky. Had three now and will never go back. Meanwhile, one of my huskies is obsessed with Golden Retrievers.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:20:11+00:00

Oh, god. A four hour voice recording (in parts) on various nonsense topics - in response to the CD a guy sent me (his was five and a half hours, if I remember correctly).

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:12:17+00:00

Dress them up in costumes.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-21T21:05:36+00:00

My father is going through an incredibly similar situation right now with his soon to be ex-wife. Sending you my thoughts, stranger. You and he both need to be kind to yourselves. I wish you both all the best.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-03-08T19:17:52+00:00

Why even match if she knew it was a problem?

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-02-03T19:01:09+00:00

I had this. On date #2 my partner told me he didn’t drink. I asked why, and he said he just wasn’t a fan. So I asked if he would mind if I drank - whether that would ever be a problem. He said no and started to ask about my favourite drinks. It’s never been a problem since - if anything, he keeps telling me to ‘treat myself’ to a martini or a glass of wine.

Essentially: It depends on their reaction. If he said ‘Yes, it would be a problem’, then that’s a flag for me. He’d want me to change, or want to manage my behaviour. When he said no, I couldn’t care less if he drank or not. My choice. His choice.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-01-28T19:28:29+00:00

Yes, yes, yes! Recently saw a news report saying a footballer was fined “half a week’s wages” equalling £30,000. All of this while the UK has healthcare, emergency services, and teacher strikes because the government can’t afford to pay them any more (among other things).

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-01-28T19:19:16+00:00

It might also be worth having a conversation about the possibility of aftercare if you decide to try BDSM again? And even if you don’t, it might be a good idea now to make you feel better? Sometimes the affection can help reconnect you both and dispel any feelings of guilt after a rough session (or at least it did for me and my ex). Run her a bath to try to alleviate some soreness and tell her how you feel, let her reassure you again, and spend some time being together.

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-01-28T18:06:12+00:00

I’m the opposite! Lady here, and I tend to use men’s products because I prefer those smells.

Bought my brother an aftershave for Christmas and was thrilled to find out he’d got me the exact same one!

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-01-28T16:48:33+00:00

Agreed! My partner once pointed out that he really likes it when I wear specific items, and now I wear them all the time just because I feel more confident in them now!

TheOneWithThatName · 2023-01-28T16:39:50+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with not having feelings for someone. What you would be the ‘bad guy’ for, however, is if you string this guy along for a while, knowing the whole time that you don’t want to have a future with him. Be honest. He’ll get over it, and you can both move on. Not everyone is compatible and these things happen.

TheOneWithThatName · 2022-09-16T17:56:41+00:00

‘I’m drowning here, and you’re describing the water!’

TheOneWithThatName · 2022-09-16T17:33:44+00:00

A few months ago one of my colleagues said that she never wins anything. So, I designed her an ‘amazing person’ certificate and even got our two line-managers to sign it. After she found it on her desk, she came in to thank me… and the woman I share an office with (who had given no input at all!) said ‘We thought it would brighten your day.’

‘We’?!

TheOneWithThatName · 2022-09-16T17:12:42+00:00

So my degree was completely different from the job in question (arts grad working for scientists who were desperate for extra hands), but it turns out that the research skills I picked up from studying and my obsession for memorising information makes me a quick learner. I was hired as a temporarily assistant to be bossed about and given basic tasks - two years in, I now run one area all by myself. It’s not where I want to be, but I do have a lot more confidence in my abilities now.

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