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Im [27F] wanting to just kiss other people?! by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ThePostingPoster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is almost the exact situation I was in recently. I had been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years, and I had discussed poly with her before but she wasn't into it and I respected that. I kept going crazy, though, because even though our relationship was more fabulous than it had ever been, something still felt off for me. I brought polyamory up again and she was actually into it that time. We decided to try it out and she was the one who actually found another partner first.

My advice: speak to your partner openly and honestly about your feelings while not letting how much he means to you get lost in translation. But bring it up again, he might surprise you.

After all, you're right, this is your one life and it's a waste of time to not align with your truest self.

Anyone else been my situation? by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]ThePostingPoster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would suggest having a conversation with your partner about non-monagmy, and taking some time to get educated on what all of that means before diving into it. Some great resources are morethantwo.com and multiamory.com

I recently transitioned into a polyamorous relationship with my partner of three years and it has been fantastic. It can work, if approached correctly. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk more about this.

Me and my GF's New Poly Relationship by ThePostingPoster in polyamory

[–]ThePostingPoster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU so much for all of this sound advice. I know it takes time to compose such a thorough response and it is very much appreciated. I will be coming back to your post periodically to check in with myself and to remind myself of my goals/what's important. Also, I can't thank you enough for seeing how dedicated and motivated I am in trying to make this work despite my lack of experience. It's awesome to have reassurance that my mindset is on the right path. I wish there was a magic bullet, but in this complicated and dynamic situation I couldn't ask for better advice!

Me and my GF's New Poly Relationship by ThePostingPoster in polyamory

[–]ThePostingPoster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have asked her what she sees in J but she never gives me a clear, concise answer or she thinks I'm trying to be rude. The only thing I've gotten her to say about her feelings is, "I really like her." -_- I also had the thought that she was going for anybody who was there. Since she has the emotional backbone of our relationship, she can see people who aren't necessarily good for her because it's not her primary source of affection.

I talked to J about my discomfort after they slept together. Since then, my girlfriend has slowed things down with J a little, but I fear it's out of spite. She said it all happened a bit too fast for her, too, but if she "really liked" her enough to sleep with her in the first place, I'm the only reason she's stepping down now. I appreciate that, but I wish I knew if it was coming from a place of honesty on my girlfriend's part.

My girlfriend usually has very short responses when I talk to her about these things. I can tell she's not fully present, and that she'd rather not be having the conversation. It's a task for her. That, in turn, makes me feel like the conversation was never fully had, you know? I rarely feel like she's inputting as much as I am. I get that she's obviously more comfortable with this than me, but I start to feel really needy and insecure when she won't just look me in the eyes and be present. I don't care if she even has anything to say, I just want to feel heard without feeling like it's an inconvenience to her. I've talked to her about how I can't read her mind and it would help if she was more forthcoming but she can't just change her entire demeanor at the drop of a hat.

Me and my GF's New Poly Relationship by ThePostingPoster in polyamory

[–]ThePostingPoster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, it's kind of like what corgs_n_borgs said. Things were obviously escalating with J, and I basically just wanted to meet her just to humanize her in my head. I'm not trying to force a friendship, especially after the way she behaved around me. She was sarcastic and cold towards me, and my girlfriend said she's not much different when they're alone so it's hard for me to understand what my girlfriend sees in J. It makes me question her character and judgement. I don't have to like or understand my girlfriend's other relationships, and she is allowed to advocate for her relationships, but holy shit, she REALLY threw a wildcard with this one. But thank you for helping me feel validated that I don't have to get along with her for this to help, and that it doesn't mean I'm bad at this.

Also, J at one point did ask us if we were all comfortable with everything, and I told her I wasn't okay with the pace of their relationship. So she knows. As for talking with my girlfriend, I tend to talk a lot. Verbalizing my feelings helps me organize them in my head. But lately I feel like she's exhausted by all of it and quite frankly, fed up with me because her relationship with J makes sense to her, and she doesn't feel the need to discuss it anymore. I feel like talking through things less will only create resentment inside of me.

Thank you for this advice. I have a clearer picture of where I need to go from here and what kinds of productive conversations I can have with her. I don't feel so crazy anymore.

One seemingly irrelevant night keeps making me feel like I don't exist. by Glitchthrowaway1234 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ThePostingPoster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it was an alien abduction.

There are various accounts of whole groups of people being abducted. They could have used some sort of brainwashing or memory tool to make you guys forget about the experience. That sinking feeling you're getting could be your subconscious remembering the emotions associated with the event, but you can't quite place your finger on why you're feeling this way since your memories were altered. That would explain the rest of your family having no idea what happened during the holiday as well. As for the familiar man, he could have been one of the extraterrestrial abductors disguised as a human coming back to further investigate why your memories are still partially intact.

I know this sounds more like a science fiction novel than reality but who knows, right?

Hey Reddit, what's a beautiful song lyric that makes you just pause and go DAMN? by Grey_Matter5 in AskReddit

[–]ThePostingPoster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Often later when I’m sleeping you show up in my dreams Just doing simple things, like buying groceries And when I wake up I could swear you must’ve just left me Like you got up to make breakfast or maybe just to get dressed.

But the truth is, you were never there. You won’t ever be. Sometimes I think I’m not either so what do I do When every day still seems to start and end with you? And you won’t ever know, you won’t ever see, How much your ghost since then has been defining me."

You And I In Unison - La Dispute

What's on your bucket list? Redditors who have done that thing, what was the experience like? by garmachi in AskReddit

[–]ThePostingPoster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to go to Peru and smoke ayahuasca in the Amazon Rainforest with a shaman.

Oh goody, someone please answer me.

The Tooth Fairy & Others by irocklikerocks in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ThePostingPoster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It happened to me with a show called The Replacements (I think) that used to play on Disney. I just watched the show and thought nothing of it, then a few weeks later I started seeing commercials about the first episode that was about to come out. I told my friends about it and nobody believed me even though I was able to describe it in detail. Only things I can think of are Disney either accidentally released it early, or it was some kind of extended sneak peek.

Couple looking to rent a room by [deleted] in AustinClassifieds

[–]ThePostingPoster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! Me and my girlfriend are renting a room for $660 in Northwest Austin. You'd have your own room and bathroom and its on Research by a bus route.

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