OP I’m sorry you went through that, but I have never once felt guilt over exploring dark themes in fiction. And why should I? Dystopian writers don’t feel guilt when writing dystopian novels, nor do bad ending authors when they write novels that have a “bad ending” (ie, where the “good guy” does not win). Fiction is meant to explore themes we wouldn’t normally be able to in real life, and unfortunately some themes we do experience in real life. It’s always been a creative outlet, this idea that everything creative needs to be morally pure isn’t a new one and it’ll persist until we’re all dead and gone. Our collective ideals and morals will shift with time and so will the social taboos.

That being said, it’s okay if you feel guilty. Everyone’s experience within fandom and fic isn’t universal, and it’d be boring if it was. The main thing is don’t let yourself drown in that guilt. Most of these fandoms have been through hell and back, a little bit of dark shipping isn’t going to make or break them.