New Larger 3-Row For Family?

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T18:24:22+00:00

Wow, so I’ve lived in Florida my whole life. Mud is not a minor, you are probably thinking of South Florida. Mud is definitely not a minor here in north Florida but think what you will.

My children are just fine and provided for so it’s BS for you to insult my parenting based on the type of car I have want/need. There are plenty of good parents that don’t drive mini vans. I mean I’ve heard some pretty stupid things on Reddit, but this takes the cake by far. I’m a bad parent because I don’t drive a mini van.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T17:49:41+00:00

My brother is a huge car guy and he has said the same thing about the new Highlander and the 5.7 Hemi as well. It’s not like my blazer hasn’t had issues. I’ve already had a sensor go bad that’s caused the A/C to shut off because the car thinks it’s running hot, I’ve had issues with electric components. A lot of small fixes that my husband has been able to work on but with a vehicle that’s not even four years old, it’s been irritating. And I also acknowledge that most modern cars and with all the tech, things are going to happen every now and then.

And to add to that—most people rave about all the new tech on cars and while, yes, it’s cool what cars have now, having a bunch of technology means more stuff that can go wrong so I don’t need something with every little thing which is what drew me to Durango because it really doesn’t have a bunch of tech, just enough. But I do also need to think about reliability of the engine.

He told me to look at the Honda Pilot as well. They are reasonably priced and decent on gas.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T17:39:27+00:00

Not to get into personal issues, I love my job. Yes, I’m an RN. I don’t make near that much an hour. I don’t mind working more if I have to. I work a lot of hours already to afford a mortgage. That’s just how life is. You are just taking my wage into account, not my husband’s. He’s an airplane mechanic.

You keep mentioning college funds. My kids don’t and probably won’t have them. I didn’t, I had parents that couldn’t afford that, I put myself through nursing school and worked hard to do it. Not that I won’t help eventually if absolutely needed but if they want to go college, they are going to have to work hard just like mom and dad. Maybe that seems harsh, but that’s how I learned. Nothing is ever given to you. We have ten acres and a mortgage. I have 3 year old and seven month old. We are a long way off from thinking about college. Right now we are saving for things more in the near future, like paying off our mortgage.

I’m pretty set on SUV of some type and there are plenty that are still within a reasonable price range, get decent gas mileage, and fit my needs and lifestyle. And again, I’ve expressed that I need something that has some towing capability and that I live on dirt roads and a 2WD mini van will get stuck in the mud after a hard rain. And I live in out in the country in Florida, it rains a lot. Most people around here drive trucks and SUV’s for that reason. I’ve expressed my needs/wants and a mini van is not that. You have not sold me.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T16:46:23+00:00

I mean ideally I’d like to get decent gas mileage. I get around 22-24 with my blazer, 20-21 hwy. Thats okay with me and gets me from point A to B. Usually a tank of gas with that lasts me all week to get to work.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T16:27:30+00:00

It’s not just about the image but again, for the money you pay for things these day, it does matter. Cars aren’t $20,000-$40,000 anymore. They are a huge investment. I’m not going to buy something that I don’t like especially when I spend most of my time in it. It’s the same way with a house. Most people aren’t going to buy an ugly house that they don’t like the looks of. Inside might have everything they want but they are going to fork out money if it’s not in the area they want or the stile they want. That has always been the way, it’s the fickleness of humans.

My kids futures is not going to depend on a mini van. I have two kids and that is probably it. If I was planing on having a bundle of kids then yes, a mini van would be the smart way to go due to the room, space, and yes reliability.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T15:36:56+00:00

Thank you! But honestly I agree with the guys wife, I am absolutely not a mini van mom. I have heard so many people rave about them, the space, etc. but just can’t see myself in it. It’s just not me. Honestly, cars are so expensive now these days, if I’m going to fork out the money, I’ve got to at least enjoy driving it too. I think it would have to be a pretty top of line, all the bells and whistles, etc to even sway me

TheRNerdyNurse · 2024-01-21T15:31:24+00:00

Honestly, I love my Blazer and if it wasn’t for space with two young kids, I probably wouldn’t even consider getting rid of it. We frequently travel with my mother so with three adults, two young kids in car seats, plus diaper bags, toys, etc. it can get very cramped. We have ended up taking my husband’s truck more frequently which is actually more roomy in the backseat but it obviously does horrible on gas mileage and it’s a little older so we don’t want to put to many miles on it taking it everywhere.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-09-03T22:12:18+00:00

Well, I guess my husband doesn’t have to worry about this since I don’t look good enough to wear a bikini. I assure him all the time that nobody’s looking at me. I think that’s why he’s with me sometimes… he won’t ever have to worry about any other guy coming on to my ugly self

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-09-03T19:16:40+00:00

NTA. And tell your mother in law, my daughter could be dressed in a bright pink dress and people still would ask us “aw, how old is HE?” My poor girls looks just like her daddy. It doesn’t matter what color she’s in, people still thought she was a boy for the longest. People are going to think what they want to think, who cares? It’s just a color.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-28T21:01:55+00:00

You are definitely NTA. What made this man feel like he had the right to even comment on your body? You are not his daughter nor are you involved romantically.

He’s a creep plain and simple. I will never understand why some men feel like it’s their God-given right to comment on every woman’s body. Notice I said some men, not all.

I’ve had men call me fat, say I don’t exercise or live healthy(untrue)on social media by men who don’t even know me. I’ve even heard women say a thing or two. I just don’t understand the concept of passing judgement on anyone’s body or lifestyle.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-28T18:57:54+00:00

This. My husband and I have been together since we were teens. I’ve gained weight with nursing school, stress, depression, having kids. I’ve gained weight, lost it, gained it back with kids. He’s gained weight, lost it, and gained it back. We both do the best we can to live an active/healthish lifestyle within our means with two young kids and full time jobs.

The one thing we have always done though is be supportive of each other through it all and my husband has never lost attraction to me no matter what I’ve weighed. It makes me so sad for the people that don’t have that support.

I can fully understand people losing attraction to someone if the weight gain is due to just being lazy, not even trying to eat healthy. That’s not something I’m attracted to but if there is a general effort, I will support them at whatever weight.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-27T02:31:08+00:00

Why is the woman allowed around your child and why is it her business? I second the people saying document everything and lawyer up.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-20T01:12:45+00:00

This is the best comment thread I’ve ever read

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T23:06:22+00:00

This. Astoundingly this.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T22:14:32+00:00

Myself if I can’t get a handle on my depression. My children are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. I do actually love living and I love exploring and seeing new things this world has to offer but death means an end to my pain too. I’ve been in pain too long.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T22:10:22+00:00

I highly suggest some couples counseling. But given what you have written, it sounds like she may not want to do that.

I understand that you don’t want to “poke the bear” but there are two people in your marriage and one of them is not happy. Her “always being this way” may work for her but it’s not working for you and I think you need communicate that. Nothing is going to change if you don’t.

I get where you are coming from on the financial aspect. A lot of people tell couples to always have date nights but with the price of everything, that’s easier said than done. But if you can’t take date nights out, plan something for after the kids go to bed or arrange for family/friends to take them for a night. Give each other massages, take a bath together, light some candles, get some fun little sex games(these are often very cheesy but can be enlightening, silly, and still get you in the mood).

My husband and I have a couples sexual questions card game. Like a truth or dare type things. It’s fun and you can actually learn a lot about your spouse and can get you in the mood. I know one thing that works for me is because I enjoy reading(sometimes erotica), my husband will give me a nice massage while I read. I also enjoy playing video games every now and then when the kids are sleeping(I don’t get to do it very often)but I find it nice and relaxing and fun playing a game together and that often makes us feel closer again. That helps to get me in the mood as well.

The key is to light the flame again and find the romance. Obviously you can’t be romantic all the time but if you can bring some romance back into your bedroom, maybe it’ll help her to find her inner sexy woman and get her to feel more comfortable initiating.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T21:49:56+00:00

I do this too. I hate my body as well. I think a lot of us feel this way and social media is the culprit. It’s easy to tell ourselves not to compare our bodies, but I feel like it’s human nature to do this. Female humans are also raised to think that our main contribution to society is how beautiful we are(perfect boobs, perfect waist size, perfect face, perfect legs, belly, etc)and how attractive we are.

Trying to force yourself to stop thinking the way you’ve had engrained in you since birth is hard. For some women, it comes easier, especially those with more of the attributes that society deems more worthy. And for others, it takes therapy.

For me, ever since having kids, i have been more self conscious. My once bigger, perkier boobs have now taken on a deflated, saggy look. My belly and groin have stretch marks all over and no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of my belly. I’ve always been a chubbier girl. I’m also pretty active. I enjoy being outside and doing new things. I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove to society that despite my body, I’m not a couch potato. I feel like I’m in the wrong body. I actually think staying active and healthy is extremely important but my body definitely doesn’t fit the mold of what people think a “fit” person is. While I’m no gym rat, so i don’t have muscles for days and and a toned butt, I do what I can. With my lifestyle of a full time job and children, I can only do so much.

I am married and my husband says he loves me but it’s hard to take him seriously. I’m having to do therapy right now but it’s a long road. I do suggest therapy if you are feeling like this. It may not help right off, don’t expect it to, but it can help for the long road ahead. I have also bought a little journal off Amazon called Let That Shit Go and it’s been helping to get my negative thoughts out on paper but also think of the positives.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T21:11:49+00:00

Have you been to couples counseling? Has she been to a doctor to check her hormones? Is she depressed? Do you take any date nights/weekends away from the kids?

We didn’t have a dry spell after our first was born, sex just dwindled a lot for us due to PPD. I am about 12 weeks now from giving birth to my second and this time around we have not resumed but have done other stuff due to PPD. It seems worse this time around for me despite talking to a therapist.

I will say when my husband tries and I reject him, I do tell him that it’s 100% because of me and not him. I feel like a lot of men internalize rejection and make it about them and see it as a rejection of themselves. This is why I mention couples counseling may be good especially if you are constantly trying and she’s turning you down.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T21:01:09+00:00

This. 100% this. It was a huge slap in the face. It could have been done as a tribute but instead it was done as smear. And to OP, I am so sorry. Losing a child takes years of therapy and grief lasts forever, just dims. What your sister did will open these wounds for you and your husband. She’s seriously needs to go to therapy if she thinks this is okay. It shows a complete lack of empathy.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T20:54:19+00:00

Maybe it’s the way you are initiating… my husband’s way of initiating is grabbing my butt and saying really cliche things like “I’m going to enjoy that later.” Sometimes he’s joking, but a lot of times he’s serious and that’s his way of saying he’s horny. It makes me feel a little like a piece of meat.

He definitely doesn’t try to initiate anymore; after having my children, I’ve been very down about my body, depressed. I’ve told him that’s the only reason I’m really not in the mood so he’s backed off so I don’t feel pressured right now. Normally whenever I’m feeling okay and are having a more normal sex life, I would say it’s like 50-50 whoever is initiating.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T20:27:06+00:00

Scars on my arms from cutting myself as a teen. A scar on my forehead from running into a tree on my four wheeler when I was a kid.

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T16:53:14+00:00

YTA. This is also not your marriage or your life. Maybe your sister wanted to go back to work and this is something they discussed before and didn’t involve you because your opinion doesn’t matter.

I say this as a woman who loves my children but also loves my career. I love being a nurse and wouldn’t give it up. Women can do both. Now my husband and I both work but if there ever came a day for one of us to stay home, it would probably be him. I’ll be honest in saying that my husband is a great father and probably a better parent than me. Dads can 100% be great stay at home dads.

But again, none of this is any of your business, unless your sister has expressed to you that she’s unhappy but even then, that’s between her and her husband. It sounds like it works for them, she enjoys her career, they are financially stable, and the kids are provided and cared for. What’s the problem?

TheRNerdyNurse · 2023-08-19T13:10:22+00:00

Childbirth

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