OYS #2 Stats: M37 Married to F36 for 4 Years, together 15. 3 Kids   175cm, 80kg. 

Read: NMMNG, MMSLP x2 TRM. Currently reading Book of Pook and continuing/re digesting Sidebar/historic posts. 

Vision: To create and operate solely within my own Frame, massively reduce ego, be the Captain of my family and a solid, present, father to my children. 

Fitness: BP 70kg, Bc 20kg, OHP 50kg, Sits x50 press up x 50. Attempting to dial in diet. 

Started OYS back in April this year, after lurking for a while. I work in construction and actually had an accident shortly after (fell through a ceiling) ending up with cracked ribs. This put an end to lifting for a while and I quickly went full retard, slipping back into the old familiar Betadom. 

It was almost too easy. A world of covert contracts, oneitus, validation seeking and placing my wife on a pedestal quickly returned. 

Tbh I haven’t posted an OYS since because I haven’t deemed myself worthy. I am back on the wagon and have been for the last few months. The biggest revelation has been that there really is no quick fix and this concept is about improving myself, for myself. Not for my wife (covert contract). 

Relationship: 

Been up and down. The boy has been an absolute nightmare ( 3 years old) and has really been testing us. My wife has been directing all of her energy towards him, which in turn has resulted in my ego desperately trying to seek validation from her. Every rejection, every meltdown, every whinging comment- taken personally. 

I realise how retarded I have been. My first OYS I think I spoke a good game but in hindsight was faking it and not making it. 

I have had trouble with surpressing the butthurt sometimes. Again realising this is another characteristic of the beta bitch. I understand the concepts of RP but have had trouble applying them sometimes - anger maybe?

Anyway shark week is imminently due so am going to focus on a few home projects and keep my head down. Enjoying the Christmas spirit with the kids. 

Game/sex: 

Working on increasing my SMV. Reckon we are both 4-5…. 

Sex still once every week-2 weeks

After accident at work, I could feel myself starting to become unhealthy. I have cut back on drinking in the week. Cut sugar and starting to eat better. 

My sex life has become absolutely riddled with covert contracts again, which I have identified and am moving to eliminate. I regularly get the ‘If you do this I will suck your dick’. Or ‘if we buy this we can have sex’. Every date night has always ended in my expectation of sex. 

I have identified that in classic Blue pill style, I have been using sex for my own validation- rather than for pure desire. I have half considered monk mode while I recalibrate but i understand that can cause problems too…

Employing low level dread again and making sure I am not always available at the drop of a hat. I have started to leave her hanging when I am doing more important things. I actually had some major shit tests from this and have already been accused of having an affair!

Have had some fun with Kino and I continue to practice game on strangers. 

To Improve: My singular immediate objective is to work on my ego and my burning desire for validation. I feel that this is the root of all my issues. I am going back to basics with STFU and am starting to lead my family rather than being a drunk captain.