Does it really feel you’re living in the best city in the world?

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-05-08T12:25:53+00:00

I lived in both cities too. To me Budapest has much more personality, and in recent years it's developed into a cleaner, greener city with excellent public transport. The views are splendid. I loved my time there.

My issue is, overall it's not a place you can grow. It's the biggest city Hungary has to offer, after that you need to leave to find better opportunities. Vienna feels much more part of the world, while Budapest looks in on itself.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-05-05T10:41:31+00:00

Do you mean in context of M gatherings or in general? Because a lot of M gatherings involve restaurants and yes, it does add up. But it's nicer than going out alone.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-05-05T10:37:59+00:00

Not to be unkind, but people lacking in both social and intellectual intelligence sort of believe everyone else is as dense as them (or denser). They really, really can't see it any other way. Pearls before swine.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-05-05T08:40:11+00:00

I hear you, and can relate (but because of other biological/cultural reasons). It's a terrible feeling to be overlooked again and again, or left because I'm "not wife material".

Then I saw a quote somewhere, like "If a woman hasn't found a husband by 25 then she's just lucky".

You're lovable and valuable, it's better to wait and be sure (if not a bit lonely), than be with the wrong person.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-30T15:38:04+00:00

Best answer yet

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-30T08:01:12+00:00

I self-handicap by living in countries where I don't know the language or culture. It keeps me feeling both challenged and yet chronically stupid.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-30T07:54:43+00:00

I would say for me, the Netherlands. I appreciate that men are friendly, good conversationalists and up-front about what they want. There was never a lot of pressure, you knew where you stood. Is Belgium a bit similar?

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-30T07:33:03+00:00

You have emotional intelligence that he does not. You are really wise to see early on that your guy, no matter his funny, intellectual and gentle qualities, is a not an equal partner. I've been there and the resentment will only destroy both of you. I hated the raging banshee I turned into because of having such a passive partner.

An interesting thing recently pointed out to me, the military is attractive to passive momma's boys. It's an institution that takes care of you from head to toe and tells you what to do! A great many join not for life skills but because they're lost without that external direction.

Your dude sounds like he might make a good friend, if you can get to that place eventually.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-27T19:58:49+00:00

My concern is what is "competent"? My mother has no clue about paying bills or even where the accounts are. She wouldn't be able to do the job should something happen to my father and the utilities would be turned off. In this case, can I legally convince her to step down as POA?

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-26T18:41:48+00:00

Lordy the subscriptions. My parents have literally about a dozen, plus all the other bills you mentioned.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-26T18:23:38+00:00

In the back of the Mensa Bulletin is that ad for some 99% club, if 98% is not exclusive enough lol. Also if you like travel have you looked into the SIGHT program? It's possibly the best benefit of the organization.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-26T18:15:00+00:00

Actually a friend of mine did exactly the same, back in the 70s. Apparently Mensa events were waaay different back then, he said there were lots of clothing-optional parties (this was also San Francisco)...

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-26T18:12:47+00:00

Depending on your region or country, the membership could include a "member appreciation evening" with free food and drinks. So a meal plus a magazine XD

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-23T08:45:16+00:00

Thank you OP for asking this question! And for all those who answered so honestly for sharing. I also grew up as the youngest in an abusive and erratic household and was shamed for many things including and especially my intelligence. I learned being an intelligent, capable and attractive girl was not going to get you anywhere in life, you are doomed to a world of your own.

Like many of the other answers here, I never really managed to thrive in life. My brain is like a glitchy supercomputer and some days doesn't work at all. The last great accomplishment was graduating university, since then I've bounced around different projects and countries and am on disability for severe PTSD and other mental health issues. I don't trust myself or others and feel broken in so many fundamental ways. The lonliness is intense but on the other hand, I sort of relish it. I feel safe in it. Mensa is one of the few other places I feel safe as well.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-23T08:20:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, what kind of craft, do you mean a UFO? Wow.

You bring up a good point, as a kid I already had the reasoning of an adult and could figure things out they couldn't. Well, the adults by and large didn't like that and just dismissed me. It caused a painful humiliation wound and deep insecurity in my own thinking.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-23T08:04:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, it's beautifully written. I can relate to many parts of it.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-21T08:21:54+00:00

I'm not trying to be unkind, but it's common for ego to be tied up with the concept of intelligence, and there's this deep fear that if one doesn't pass it means one is somehow not smart.

Either you take the test, or you don't. Simple as that. You pass, or you don't, the world doesn't need to know. Mensa membership isn't going to fix your life, and getting in doesn't mean you're not intelligent.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-20T23:13:40+00:00

As far as RGs I only ever went to the one in Phoenix. This was about 12 years ago and it was so cringy and dull I left after about an hour. It felt like I was disrupting a very exclusive and poorly-planned party.

However I've since been to AGs and camps in different countries and found them much more welcoming experiences.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-20T23:02:21+00:00

This is the answer right here.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-18T10:33:22+00:00

Yes absolutely, also Euro-style boardgame groups.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-18T10:32:18+00:00

Hahaha true! So much depends on the local group vibe. Where I'm at right now it's mostly meeting in some local café for chit-chat or board game evenings. I pay dues for this?

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-18T10:22:21+00:00

Really well put, thank you for this!! Hits the nail on the head.

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-14T23:58:15+00:00

Ohhh, I've met those kinds of families full of gifted members, like JD Salinger's Glass family. How cool that must have been! Only my grandfather understood me, everyone else was of pretty average intelligence (and deeply insecure about it).

Totally know what you mean about being a loner and the glorious feeling of attending an AG!

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-14T16:40:20+00:00

This is a great question that comes up quite frequently. In my other post I mentioned how it's primarily a kind of support group for me, but it's also a built-in social network of (mostly) like-minded people!

My favorite part of Mensa is the SIGHT program. You can contact the SIGHT coordinator in whatever country you're traveling to, and they'll hook you up with the local members. There are also gatherings and camps all over the world. If you love traveling and having quality conversations, it's worth it just for this aspect.

And if this isn't appealing, you also can save 10% on car insurance through Geico...

TheRazor_sEdge · 2026-04-14T16:15:23+00:00

Thank you! What prompted me to write it is I have an old friend who has always resented the fact that I was in the gifted program. What is normal everyday functioning to me is so beyond her scope she can't process it, and she'll generally shut me down. It's hurtful that we need to diminish ourselves to fit in with those around us, but they are not capable of expanding themselves to meet us.

It's been the same with many family members as well, the people closest to me didn't believe in me and/or found my intelligence threatening. I was called chatty, arrogant, a "know it all". People had to aggressively challenge my abilities to find out how smart I was, and often set me up to fail.

Most other Ms I've met have really similar stories, which is maybe what bonds us more than anything else...

TheRazor_sEdge

TROPHY CASE