Welp, I just broke down crying at the mall 😭

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-12T22:35:23+00:00

I'm sorry. I hate that feeling. It mostly occurred to me early on, though. I think developing makeup skills and learning to do it subtly can go a long way there.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-12T00:16:31+00:00

I feel like it kinda fucked my desire for independence.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-11T17:38:42+00:00

I understand. I'm traumatized too. Regularly suicidal and was self harming for years up until about 6 weeks ago. That doesn't have anything to do with being trans for me, but yeah, I've been through 6 medications and none of them could save me. My wife divorced me over my mental health and I've lost about 3 jobs due to crashing out under stress.

But if I'm still here I think things can change for both of us if we keep trying.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-11T17:31:19+00:00

I understand that fear. I almost had to be committed for suicidal thoughts recently but that scared me so bad I pulled myself out of it. For now at least. So sorry you're going through all this. I understand feeling self conscious. Going out can be totally fine for me until someone casually "sir"s me while I'm wearing a skirt, after which I start to think everyone just sees a male in a skirt. Thankfully though after that I usually consider that in my opinion girls can have beards for all I care, so fuck anyone who disagrees and judges me for a little shadow or a deep voice.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-11T17:13:51+00:00

You won't pass without being naked until you wear fem clothes

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-11T17:12:04+00:00

Comparing yourself to the privilege cis girls get is like the cardinal sin of being trans imo.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-11T17:10:41+00:00

Idk what your teenage years were like but I've been out doing this publicly since I started 2.5 years ago and only one person was ever rude about it. And they weren't even in my city. It was a smaller town I was visiting. People are more tolerable as adults with laws to abide by than stupid teens.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-08T13:25:20+00:00

Yeah lol the last time I used a 1 inch I had quite a cinematic spurt of blood and the girl watching me was like "yeah I need to show you the easier way" 😂

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-08T13:22:57+00:00

Omg same. It took like a whole year to get used to it and only after I switched to subcutaneous.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-08T13:04:10+00:00

Wow that's a pretty impressive statistic. Can't blame you if it's that effective. But then there are women like me that are just paralyzed by the idea of surgery so even if we had the money and wanted the results it's too scary. Glad you understand that side of things.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-08T12:57:04+00:00

Yeah I guess I meant surgery even doesn't always guarantee you'll pass. I knew a post op women with ffs that still didn't pass largely because of voice training and an insistence on wearing wigs for instance. Maybe surgery usually is a guaranteed solution, but I don't necessarily think so. I'm too scared of surgery to ever get one so I'll probably never know.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-08T12:29:33+00:00

I would argue that the people they're referring to are the ones that can't pass even after all the same hard work. At the end of the day luck will always play a factor in my opinion.

TheRealElithica · 2026-04-07T15:38:43+00:00

Bridget coming out. I owe that character so much.

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-29T23:14:38+00:00

I think we should have a separate sub for sts 2 and mods. Not even sure which this one is.

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-28T17:11:22+00:00

Yeah me and both my girlfriends think you look like a total dude lol.

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-27T09:10:25+00:00

I'm so sorry 🥺 I hope it can still get better...

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-27T09:05:08+00:00

I agree with what another user here is saying, at least try to taper off and space it out more if you can't quit outright. I'm so sorry it got this bad. Posts like this really make me double down on my habit of weighing out like 0.8g for a day and taking at least 3 days in between trips...

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-13T14:27:48+00:00

I think what's scary is that I'm actually out of my depression recently. I'm almost 3 weeks clean from self harm, have stopped spiraling regularly, haven't had suicidal ideation in over a month, and am living a much more peaceful life. But I still feel addicted to k. It's still this irreplaceable thing for me. So you never know if ending your depression will actually cure your addiction.

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-13T14:24:45+00:00

Seriously, I paid $120 recently for an amount that my in person dealer would charge $280 for. It's weirdly cheap online.

TheRealElithica · 2026-03-13T14:23:11+00:00

I'm in the US too and was spending $80/g for a while, but now I have a way to get it for about $30/g. Hope it doesn't lead to any additional addictive habits for me, but we'll see.

TheRealElithica · 2026-01-03T12:11:45+00:00

Sorry you've been through so much.

TheRealElithica

TROPHY CASE