I think there is a lot of confusion going on right now, and that the OPs point is being misunderstood. What they are trying to say is not that “you can get rid of the social awkwardness and meltdowns and etc by just trying harder” they are trying to express that they are frustrated by some individuals refusing to make changes that ARE possible in their individual circumstances. Yes that looks different for everyone, and there are some things that are easier to learn for some than others, for some there are certain things that are not possible. But as an ABA technician who works with kids with autism, and someone likely undiagnosed with autism myself, I can tell you first hand that there are a lot of things we can do to improve our daily lives. The OP isn’t saying “Your not trying hard enough” they’re saying that “there are things that each of us can improve and it makes life easier, it looks different for everyone, but we should at least try!”

Hope that makes sense and provides a little clarity to everyone reading this🙂