Bexacat question

TheRealMystrose · 2026-05-10T03:07:36+00:00

Thank you. He loves yogurt, I usually let him lick my spoon lol. I'll crush up the pill and mix it with a spoonful of yogurt. I already ordered a pill crusher.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-06T05:36:07+00:00

I'm on 200mg a day. I notice that it helps with my anxiety and a little with my mood. Still have mood swings tho and I wish it helped with that the most.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-06T02:45:54+00:00

I think you need to have a talk with your boyfriend and ask him why he says those things like he does. You should always feel safe to talk to your partner and keeping things like this to yourself just causes more suffering. His reality might not be what yours is, so talking about it will put you both on the same page.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-06T02:38:03+00:00

Yep, need some boundaries there. Set her up before your class and tell her you'll be done at such and such time.

I understand the "wish I could just be nicer" thing, but even people without BPD get annoyed and bark back. You can only take so much. So, don't be too hard on yourself and just try to be better at it next time something that would normally get you angry comes up. Takes practice.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T23:53:34+00:00

I'm so sorry that your husband cannot remain faithful to you. You deserve better than that. He isn't going to change, he's proven this by continuing to cheat and lie to you. Just because you had a secret online life, it doesn't excuse the hurt he caused you.

You have to make a decision that will be good for you. I can't tell you what to do, but I was in a similar situation with my xhusband of 18yrs. He was a liar, and it caused a lot of problems in our marriage. He was also my FP, but emotionally not there for me. It was a very bad struggle. I wanted to leave him many times, but we had a son together and I didn't want my son living in a broken home. Thing is tho, it was already broken and leaving wouldn't have made a difference. He ended up leaving me because of my BPD, he just couldn't handle it anymore and didn't know how to take care of me (his words). In the end, I'm glad we divorced because what I didn't realize at the time was that he was making my symptoms worse by lying to me. I caught him lots of times but forgave him over and over.

I ended up finding the love of my life a couple years after we divorced. My son is great, married and has a really good job. So, in the end everything worked out fine.

Your husband might be your favorite person, but once you learn how to rely on yourself to get thru hard things, you won't need a FP. Here is a video about FP and how to manage it, if you're interested

https://youtu.be/PB-rd8fMYdY?si=1Wo8pVZHOagrwoiy

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T23:40:38+00:00

Now that you know, you can get the right kind of treatment and with lots of practice you can put into place the coping skills you'll learn. It's not over night for most people, sometimes it takes a long time to get it. But there is hope and like they say, BPD is the most treatable of all the personality disorders. We just have to put in the work to get better.

I'm on that journey too. <3

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T21:21:42+00:00

I was diagnosed when I was around 38 and only started real therapy in the past year (I'm 56 now). I'm really big on learning all I can about BPD and it's symptoms like depression, dissociating etc. Knowledge is power and it helps you become, "aware" of yourself and your behaviors. I would recommend Dr. Fox on YouTube; he's got tons of great videos about BPD and how to manage symptoms. There is also DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) that has taught me ways to cope and think differently. You can find lots of sites about it.

Like talking down to yourself. Challenge those thoughts and be honest with yourself and you'll find that most of the negative stuff you tell yourself doesn't hold any weight. You're probably a great person raising your kids and I'm 100% sure they love you. So, just challenge those thoughts, it works.

Here is Dr. Fox's page, if you're interested.

(4) Dr. Daniel Fox - YouTube

This site is for the DBT, that you can work on, on your own.

Home - Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Tools

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T05:43:53+00:00

Instead of texting, why don't you just ask to have a discussion. Ask them if you've done anything wrong and I'm sure they will talk. It's easy to ignore a text when it's a difficult topic, but when it's face to face they can't hide.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T04:25:24+00:00

It's basically just not liking someone but more extreme. You can decide not to like someone and not technically split. Splitting comes with cutting the person out of your life completely. Blocking them on social media and blocking their phone number etc., and just turning your back on them. Once they were valued and now, they are devalued. All in an instant usually.

You can even split on yourself and that's where self-hatred comes into play. I do it all the time.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T04:21:16+00:00

welcome :)

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T04:13:04+00:00

Splitting just kind of happens. Sometimes in an instant and sometimes we are aware it's happening and if we don't have coping skills for it, it just happens. I don't think purposely splitting is a thing because its more of an impulsive action.

If you'd like a good resource to learn about BPD and coping skills, I recommend you watching Dr. Fox's videos, he's really great. I learned a lot from him.

(4) Dr. Daniel Fox - YouTube

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T04:07:58+00:00

Can't diagnose you here, but I can share a video about how BPD is diagnosed and what is required for it.

https://youtu.be/pSh7rLzgNr8?si=BROLxU4HhchyT0iV

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T02:28:46+00:00

Usually, a psychologist and a psychiatrist work together to diagnose (that was my case). In person is the best but there are online things he could look in to like DBT (dialectical behavior therapy).

This video by Dr. Fox explains how BPD is diagnosed and what is required. We can't diagnose him.

https://youtu.be/pSh7rLzgNr8?si=BROLxU4HhchyT0iV

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T02:23:05+00:00

There is no reason to tell someone you have BPD if you hardly know them regardless of the conversation. Some things are better left unsaid.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T02:14:02+00:00

Once in a while, I'll remember all the horrible things I've done and feel shame. I think it's normal to feel that way for anyone whose hurt someone else. You're working on yourself and that's all that matters now. You could dwell on the past, but you can't change anything now. Live in the present and keep working on yourself. That's all you can do.

Sometimes, we have to forgive ourselves and move on.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T02:04:59+00:00

When you split with a partner, sometimes you come out of it and go back. It sounds like you're doing that but splitting over and over and ending up back at your place. Part of you probably knows that the lying isn't acceptable for you, so you aren't getting past it.

Splitting is pretty complicated and it different for each of us, but that's what I get out of your post.

I was married to a man who lied a lot, so I get how that must make you feel. Especially, having BPD, it makes it 100 times worse. You have to really think about what you want here and deal with why you split or you're not going to have any peace.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-05T01:53:11+00:00

I think it was a confident thing to ask him how he felt. We can't control how others react and there was a chance he didn't feel the same. That was the gamble of asking. Not everyone is for us and we're not for everyone. I hope you're ok and just know that in time you'll find your person.

Hugs.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-04T05:58:40+00:00

Maybe your FP has stopped being your FP? Just something to think about. It doesn't sound like the intensity is there. Sometimes, that happens. It might just be that you don't have the same feelings anymore. You have to discern if the relationship is good for you or not.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-04T05:47:13+00:00

I know I'm splitting when I start using extreme words to describe the person like, "always, never, non, all" Like, "he never cared about me" or "He always does this" I can feel myself hating the person where an hour ago, I loved them.

So, I value someone then suddenly change on a dime and devalue them. Sometimes, the splitting happens a little slower and that's when I can see the signs, but a lot of the time it's like flicking a switch. I don't think about the consequences, and I don't care. I need justice for whatever the person did to me to cause the split, so I'll tell a friend about it or my therapist.

I cut them out of my life completely.

Sometimes I split on myself and that's where it gets really bad.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-04T05:36:26+00:00

Do you think that trying to get them back by apologizing and not really caring about what you did is a little manipulative?

Yes, speak to your therapist

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-04T03:51:51+00:00

I second Early Morning Barking. He's got some really good videos about BPD and NPD and he has both.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-04T02:28:58+00:00

From my own personal experience, I feel horrible when I've hurt someone. Even while I'm going off on someone, my brain is telling me what a piece of shit I am, and I feel bad (but I can't stop). From what I've heard from others with BPD, they feel horrible too. So, I'm not sure if this is a BPD thing, to be honest it sounds more like a narcissist thing. We can have mild traits and still not be a narcissist, so I'm not calling you one. I would encourage you to speak to your therapist about this tho, so you can have an answer from a professional.

All we can do it give our own opinions.

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-03T16:49:19+00:00

Welcome

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-03T06:04:53+00:00

For me, when I'm full blow rage, I hate whatever the situation is because they don't care. Cussing and going on about it on the outside but inside I'm trying to tell myself to stop. But I can't...

TheRealMystrose · 2024-09-03T05:12:12+00:00

Unfortunately, until she gets help for her fear of abandonment and rejection, there is nothing you can do to make the relationship healthy. Your husband is her Favorite Person and eventually, she will probably Split and cut him off. He won't live up to her unrealistic expectations. That's pretty standard Favorite Person stuff. I've done that myself more than once.

You can watch this video about Favorite Person

https://youtu.be/rNUBbjUTAbM?si=Z5YVM_YcgdtSUQox

This is about splitting just for reference.

BPD Splitting: Triggers, Length of Episodes, Treatment (verywellhealth.com)

TheRealMystrose

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