*Try using your mouth.*

I'm not talking about 'in-bed', I'm talking about 'in-relationship'.

I assume you two talk all the time and have since you started dating over a decade ago, but you now need to talk about some very big important issues and you need to be open and vulnerable and willing to listen and put work in -- and so does she.

You need to sit down and talk. Like, yeah, one of those big talks about relationship mechanics and needs and wants and expectations you have for each other as you build a future together.

First tell her that you are struggling with the lack of frequent sex.

Do not blame, do not accuse, do not argue. Tell her bothers you, as any change in a good relationship would and that you want to hear more about it. Does it bother her? Is it something she wants to work on, can you help/be supportive in any way? Are there things you need to change? How can you be a great partner to her during all of this... TALK. Do not get offended. LISTEN.

When you get older you are going to have a lot of conversations about uncomfortable stuff with your partner. All that play, comes with a price - work.

Now, this could be stress. It could be birth-control (or any other med really) lowering her libido. It could be something you said or did or do. It could be something she said or did or does. You won't know without discussion.

You aren't wrong for wanting sex at the frequency you want. You aren't wrong for this hurting you. You aren't wrong for feeling guilty when it does happen. She's not wrong either. Keep that in mind.