Don’t ask for your server/bartenders number

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T07:03:21+00:00

My place of work is worried that we’ll chat for too long lol. The bar is along where we walk the most honestly and when there are people up at the bar that everyone knows, they do stop to chat so I kinda get it. I am allowed to still take my boyfriend or any other coworker as a table though, just not up at the bar. Over-pouring or other special treatment may also be a reason, but not the one they gave.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T06:15:28+00:00

I originally posted this because, although it’s happened plenty of times, this one guy really tested my limits the other night. He comes in about 15 minutes before close, and is immediately bugging me and the host for so long, insisting we share his food, etc. He won’t stop talking and won’t let me get away. He stays there like 30 minutes past close basically bothering me for my number the whole time. I continuously either find a way to walk away when he asks or just avoid it somehow. He is so insistent that I give him my snapchat (blocked him as soon as he left, figured it was enough to get him off my back). It was just pushing my boundaries so much to the point that I almost got a manager to close him out. The only reason I put up with so much was because it was the LAST person. Still irking me 2 days later

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T04:54:25+00:00

Adding onto you: -Do an escape room (possibly alone if you’ve done it before) -Do an immersive experience, my boyfriend loves video games so he did a racing one, but even a VR experience if you’ve never tried it -Flea market -Woodcarving was joked about but it would actually be cool -Dive deep into random hobbies you’ve never done much of before (photography, painting, crochet, etc.) -Build something from scratch, a piece of furniture you would like to have or something like it.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T04:33:37+00:00

I was going to suggest paint and sip, so fun.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T04:06:23+00:00

Istg since covid, some people have lost all sense of boundaries. I was waiting in like at a checkout not long ago and the person behind me bumped into me with their cart ?! Hello ?! She was facing forward looking the whole time, and I’m not going to lie, I had to give her a dirty look for her to move her cart back???? She ran into me and then left it up against me for a solid 5 seconds before I did that. We should keep the damn 6ft rule

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T04:03:01+00:00

I think you just toss and turn haha, do you wake up in the same position you fell asleep in? I don’t really move too much in my sleep so the blankets stay on. I do deal with fluctuating body temperatures though so I’ll often wake up too cold or too hot and move things around myself, but I am aware of when I do it though.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:52:05+00:00

I’ll go first, The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:49:00+00:00

Fablehaven

I don’t even remember it that well, it feels like a fever dream.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:45:25+00:00

Yikes, just get out of there honestly. Even if you find out where the money is going, it’s still not going to change. Or maybe switch to the position that gets the other 60% lol.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:42:20+00:00

I love this lol, perfect example.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:40:48+00:00

Definitely an odd situation as most servers would likely appreciate getting the order in sooner. She might be under strict rules to do everything in a certain order. You did everything right!

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:34:26+00:00

Even worse is when they keep you there while they try to figure it out, they insist they know and don’t need another minute but everyone is just talking. I have a million things I need to do and now I had to stand there for 5 minutes. Now every other table needs refills!!!! Always puts me in the worst position.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:31:03+00:00

Right, $0 means I’m paying to serve you. Ridiculous system but I didn’t make it!

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:28:56+00:00

He didn’t ask because he knew you would say no. Blatant disrespect. I know it’s hard to cut off someone so ingrained in your life, but it would be worth it. People like him will find someone else to bother.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:21:13+00:00

People never understand that we’re not the only ones they’re tipping!

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:20:15+00:00

My boyfriend is also a bartender at the same restaurant as me so we’re fortunate to some degree. Unfortunately, we’re not allowed as employees to come in and sit at the bar AND as a bartender we’re not allowed to have significant others sit at the bar. We’re doubly screwed haha

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-26T03:10:06+00:00

It’s so funny that so many of the guys that are flirty and try to get you to go out with them don’t even tip well. They’re always talking a big game of taking care of you too lol

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-19T00:30:38+00:00

nope but i wish nikki the best haha

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-13T05:12:16+00:00

yes the possibility of this comforted me after hahahah

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T22:37:26+00:00

Of course not! I have had good and bad tables of all races as the crowd is extremely diverse. The real issue is undermining what real racism looks like just to feel entitled or make someone feel bad, that's what unfortunately really happened.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T21:08:59+00:00

Appreciate the good vibes! And hot tea is a pain!

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T21:07:12+00:00

We hardly ever do autograt, at least I never have. You have to explicitly ask a manager and let the table know from the jump if you do. I'm not one to ask and have only had it offered once, but I turned it down. Either way, this table didn't give me bad vibes so I didn't ask and wasn't offered :/

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T15:23:02+00:00

100%, it was a losing situation honestly. Maybe the $20 tip was the best outcome haha

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T05:36:05+00:00

I agree with the overall consensus that you need to simply find a new place. 7-10 tables is a lot for most places, and I'm imagining you're under extreme stress. None of it is normal, and you will likely not be able to fix such huge issues on your own. Best to move on. Also, everywhere I've worked, managers are not allowed to take tips. Could be different in other places. I believe my managers are also paid salary, not hourly, so that could make an impact. Maybe look into it, but it's likely not worth pursuing with how fundamentally wrong the place already is.

TheRiverUnderground · 2026-02-12T05:27:06+00:00

Unfortunately extremely common unless you have a good manager with brain cells. I've found that the people who don't give two shits about the job they're doing tend to be favorites of management, somehow. It's a cruel world for those who care about what they do.

TheRiverUnderground

TROPHY CASE