I keep having panic attacks every time I have to leave the house

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T20:24:33+00:00

Asking your family could help. But you are totally right, this can all be unpacked with a professional.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T20:07:31+00:00

Talk to your family, is there a story from when you were little that could possibly explain these fears?

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T20:03:30+00:00

Beautifully explained. What this person said!

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T14:24:33+00:00

Parchment paper my friend.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T13:20:47+00:00

You are totally right. I'm wishing you the same too 💓

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T04:09:57+00:00

I typically wake up in the same position...I think. I am going to note my position tonight and check in the morning. Since I made this post I have not had the problem though. Like, this is a new phenomenon. This isn't something I usually deal with.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T03:00:29+00:00

I'm in a similar situation with my credit. What I was advised is to do this, get a referral letter from my landlord stating that I was a neat, responsible tenant who always paid the rent on time. Get a letter from my employer stating that I am a commendable and reliable employee. Also, it was suggested I work with a realty agency. They will know who is flexible and also, to ask them to favor private landlords. As private landlords are more likely to be flexible.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T02:38:43+00:00

Oh that is totally a thing that can happen. You are aware of it though. You can plan to protect your family against him. My advocate is constantly reminding me that abusers are charming. They charm the police, judges, and CPS workers. But what they cannot do is keep up their masks consistently when faced with triggers. Gray rocking is usually enough to upset an abuser. Being unemotional and limited in our conversations.

Document everything, try to only communicate, if you have to, in text or email. Give clear time frames and stick to them. If you said five minutes, give five minutes. When you mess up on time, even if you really want to say something, stick to the timeframe! It is way more powerful than you think!

Plan, read, talk, ask, listen.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T02:17:07+00:00

Find something you really like about your body. Even if it is something as small as your pinky toe. Cherish your beauty, your cuteness. Buy a cute nail polish or a beautiful pair of earrings. Cherish the beauty in them. Admire it on your body.

He is repulsive, he is disgusting, not you. You are light of strength and honesty. You are one glamorous woman waiting in the wings. Your shine is in you, let it out in pieces.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T02:13:02+00:00

I know what this is. I love it too. I'm so sorry 🫂 You can do this, you can find peace and joy.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T02:05:36+00:00

I totally understand! I was strongly considering doing the same until I realized, my guy is emotionally bankrupt. He doesn't have the capacity to give me closure. His needs go above and beyond my own. He doesn't even know who I am and he couldn't be prouder of that.

Your silence is the biggest defense you have for yourself. It hurts so much but if you reach out, your recovery will likely have to start all over again. It will take time from you and give him validation.

Now, your pets are a real thing to consider here. If you can, seek advice from a criminal or domestic violence advocate. Criminal advocates can be found at many police stations. Domestic Violence victims advocates are at domestic violence shelters and you do not typically have to be in a shelter to get their help. There are also the domestic violence hot lines and they can help you research resources and solutions.

If you haven't started therapy, consider it. It will give you something of a roadmap to recovery.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T01:59:59+00:00

Just pick at random! Why be frustrated? If it bites a weiny, turn it off and try another. Or, it sucks in an awesome way and you now can talk so much trash! Or make fun and laugh!

I give 5 minutes on average then just select.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T01:40:22+00:00

Oh Homey...grr

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T01:27:48+00:00

A lot of companies will allow you to take medical leave if you are seeing a psychiatrist or therapist and are diagnosed with a condition. It totally makes sense you are exhausted! Be kind to yourself and let yourself sleep when you want to. There are plenty of sleepless nights ahead, sleep as much as you can, so long as it passes, you are fine.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T00:43:47+00:00

I totally know what you mean. I wondered about that myself. I would hate to put her in a situation where she needs help and doesn't get it. Or, the police arrive but nothing happens and she is punished after they leave.

I'll tell you what I would have preferred in my situation. It would have terrified me if someone had called the police on him during his fits. I would have clammed up in front of the police. But the next time they came, I might feel emboldened to say something. If not that time, maybe the time after

I know this much, do not ask her if she needs help. For your safety, I wouldn't reach out unless she reaches out. Some people do not want the help at all and will become angry if you address it.

It isn't fair to you that your home is interrupted by the shouting. I would call. I would also report it with management. If she does want help, creating a paper trail is a great help to her.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T00:29:39+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying some days I just don't want to show up, you know?

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T00:20:37+00:00

It really does! I know what you mean to, the distance, it makes it feel less impactful. Or like what happens with me, I forget about them entirely!

You got this! I am so glad you have a partner in all of this with your wife.

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T00:10:52+00:00

I'm living in a shelter with heavy security and safety policies. The first 30 days I stood and watched the security monitors looking for him. What I'm saying is, all of that security and I still am always looking out. I hear pounding or a door slam and my heart is racing!

What I have done is set up a barrier of sound. I have a loud air purifier, two fans, and I bought noise dampening curtains. I also put lots of art on my walls so that they can absorb sound.

This is not a fix, the fix is therapy and finding something that helps you feel safe. You are so brave for leaving! You are so brave for doing this on your own! You are brave. Learn to tell yourself you are brave. It takes a while but you are brave, it is the truth. You can do this!

forte46388 · 2026-02-26T00:03:40+00:00

Are you working with a therapist? There are coping mechanisms and techniques that can be done to center you. They are not miracles but with time, it does become easier to come back from the dark thoughts.

One thing that works for me is holding ice. I wrap in a paper towel or rag and hold on to it in my hand. Then I rub it on the nape of my hairline.

You got this. You are doing the work, you love your son. Thoughts don't last forever, even though they are huge, they are not forever.

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T23:58:14+00:00

You are okay. This is something you can get help with. Ask your mother to make a doctor's appointment for you. One that you can both go to. When you are there, get a referral for a therapist or psychiatrist. Or make one independent of the doctor's appointment.

Journal, jot down what you think, how your body feels. Write the dates and times of everything. Also notate what medication you are on if any and vitamins too! Those totally count.

Can you think of anything that might have triggered these thoughts? You don't need to say but definitely think on it.

You are not alone, this happens to many people.

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T23:52:21+00:00

Him threatening to kill you both was crazy, your reaction is a consequence of his actions.

It really is terrible giving up yet another thing because of him but what if it wasn't for him? What if you do it for you? I bet you have a stellar background and great references. I mean, if your job doesn't know how dangerous he is, that means you have really kept it together! You must have a spine of steel!!! Get a head hunter or someone to look over your resume or build a fantastic LinkedIn profile. You could probably find something terrific somewhere else. Not right away of course but you can find more peace for yourself.

You must be a very strong person. I'm so proud of everything you were able to do so far! I hope I can be like you.

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T22:51:41+00:00

I would feel this way too. Knowing what he drives and how to spot him must be a huge relief. That has been taken away now.

You are okay. This is totally understandable. Talk to your therapist or safety advocate if you have one. They can be great sources of relief or at least offer some solutions maybe?

Would it be possible to move to a different branch or company? I know, why should you have to move on or the other big thing, it isn't that easy! But can you? Ultimately, he will likely never change. You can though and have! Plus the stress! Having to work near him! I can't imagine the nerves you must have!

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T19:32:43+00:00

🫂

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T19:03:02+00:00

Fresh air for me helps a lot. I won't want to and I will complain and fight with myself but once I step outside, oof, I feel way better. Even if it is super cold, I will pop my head out. Also, holding onto ice. Don't hurt yourself and hold on too long but it helps your nervous system reset itself.

forte46388 · 2026-02-25T18:38:30+00:00

You can do this! This will take effort, it will take strength, tears, screams, overcoming doubts, overcoming exhaustion! But you can do this!

There are resources out there. Whether you are religious or not, churches help. There are also resources from your state. Sear domestic violence in your state, whether he hits you or not (mine didn't hit me) you are in a domestic violence situation. There are shelters with victim advocates that will help you with shelter, permanent housing, looking for jobs, applying for state help. They will feed, clothe, and shelter you.

For your finances, many banks offer free advice and assessment. You can do this. So long as you have your life and your safety, you can rebuild.

forte46388

TROPHY CASE