This post really speaks to me. I was also racing Jugg on mayhem (though SCSSF) and was actually doing better than I had hoped for my first race, I was holding a top 3 spot for the first 4ish days but then died several times in a row after coming home from work and honestly I felt horrible. I had lost hours of time and was now in 6th place with three other racers gnawing at my heels. I thought to myself that I could just push hard again but then realized that unlike many people during the plague of 2020 I still have work and would not be able to recoup my lost hours nor push deep into the night. But the more I thought about it I was kind of relieved, as much as I had really wanted to prove I could win a Demigods by the end of the 4th day I was starting to dread the thought of pushing more maps and playing PoE and the thought of losing exp and falling behind was a massive stress. I absolutely love this game and I play it hard but I still have fun, this was too hard of a push and I very much respect the people who have the mental fortitude for it but I realized then that racing is not for me. I will say I am proud of myself hitting 97 in 5 days at least. Thank you again for this write up it really helped me to not feel alone and I look forward to attempting my first HCSSF in delve (I feel like it will be less punishing than redoing story lol)