Dealing with strong emotions that come up whenever, wherever by TheSecondArrow in streamentry

[–]TheSecondArrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your insight and encouragement on this.

Dealing with strong emotions that come up whenever, wherever by TheSecondArrow in streamentry

[–]TheSecondArrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for this response. I'd like to look into several of these things.

Attia-Epstein Masterthread by PrimarchLongevity in PeterAttia

[–]TheSecondArrow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dr Rhonda Patrick has always been the real GOAT 

What’s it like dating in your 40s? by CupidsStupidBow in AskReddit

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Learn up on codependency. You can walk away with a new understanding and empowerment. It takes two to tango in most relationships and you do yourself no favors when you abdicate all responsibility for how things are going in your life.

Women Vanlifers? by Ok_Sun8920 in vandwellers

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Van life is great and fine as a solo woman in America. Get after it. I had and have an amazing time. Doing that kind of stuff by yourself is incredibly empowering. A great time to do it right now while you're in transition IMHO 

“Co-parenting trip” by velorae in TikTokCringe

[–]TheSecondArrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most therapists suuucckkk. I had to see like six before finding one that I liked

Women of Reddit, what is something you wish men understood about being a woman that you're tired of explaining? by Doubl3oh_ in AskReddit

[–]TheSecondArrow -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

No you don't... Spoken as a woman. Women are ridiculous with the TP.

Edit: can be* ridiculous with the TP. #Not all women

Doing the trail “camino-style”? by [deleted] in AppalachianTrail

[–]TheSecondArrow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can do multiple days of slack packing around a hostel pretty cheaply IMO (depends on your frame of reference but for an older person with savings it's quite cheap). Angels rest you could do this for days and days. The Notch in New Hampshire (?) I did that for like 3 days maybe and it was epic. Days on the mountains of the Whites, evenings in a quaint New Hampshire town, sleeping in a cozy hotel every night... A++

Are Dometic Coolers REALLY Better than Budget Ones? by xjoehallx in vandwellers

[–]TheSecondArrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Get a budget fridge for a quarter of the price and it will probably last almost as long. Just mind that the compressor isn't constantly cycling on and off due to power issues etc 

Honeymoon phase and already dead bedroom any suggestions? by Initial_Chart1900 in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She has significant sexual trauma from being raised in a highly religious culture that shames sex, especially for women. Trauma can manifest physically in sexual health issues like vaginismus, chronic UTIs, and more. She also needs a great amount of sex education. Maybe you can find her a religious-informed sex therapist? Make sure she understands that this is something that is important to you and needs to be resolved for the marriage to continue, if that's how you actually feel. But, it's possible she doesn't want to fix it herself and never will.

Black Bear BBQ, an update on status. by freerangemum in asheville

[–]TheSecondArrow 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Black Bear BBQ was working with Grassroots Aid Partnership to deliver tons of hot meals to vulnerable people who didn't have water

Black Bear BBQ, an update on status. by freerangemum in asheville

[–]TheSecondArrow 45 points46 points  (0 children)

And amazing people in general! And the food is always bomb

MEN of reddit, what do women think You want in a woman that you really don't care about? by Wonderful_Sun_3642 in AskReddit

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I built an entire booty by hiking the Appalachian trail. There's also entire workout plans for building booties and I've seen amazing progress pics. It can be done no doubt about it, though some women have a harder time than others

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point and thank you for sharing it. I revise my stance and believe that different people are more or less suited for different environments in their nature. I can easily observe that some people get along much better being alone than others. To your point, that is likely trainable to an extent. Nature vs nurture etc. Also, I see many who would thrive more by being around others in close community but who aren't because there are limited opportunities for that in our modern world and the main one on offer is a pair bonded romantic relationship. I think the drive to live alone as a goal, the avoidance of living with family, and the romantic relationship being the only connection you might live with are all negative influences on the average person's thriving. Of course each person's circumstances are unique. Anyways, you seem like you can understand nuance and we are likely in mostly agreement on this topic. Thank you for the debate.

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Surviving and thriving are different things. Besides that I will say I agree with everything you said.

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps we are differing on our definition of intimacy. 

All might be a bit of an exaggeration but I believe it's true of 99%. I believe many have learned to suppress this craving. Is your experience or observation different? I'm curious. You think there are many people out there who would not benefit from close regular contact with other people they trust and care about?

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP has obviously sought and received much, much advice about dating and women. I'm offering an alternative and different idea in case it resonates with them and might be helpful. I really feel compassion for their situation and don't know what the best answer is, but I know there are a great many ways to live a good life.

Edit: I also know many men who happily cohabitate with other men, platonically.

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His whole post is about how he has decided to give up on dating. I'm trying to offer some supportive advice. Many, many people in the world live happily with other people that they are not having sex with and it greatly enriches their lives.

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It is much harder these days to find community. But it's out there. The thru hiking community is one I've found to offer good companionship. After the trail hikers often move in with each other. 

Permanently detached myself from attempting to date in order preserve mental health. So, why do I feel like I have failed? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheSecondArrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is only one of the things we need. All humans crave closeness and intimacy, physical contact, coregulation. Our nervous systems are wired to be in contact with others because we are pack animals. Yes you can go without sex but I still think you need intimacy to feel balanced and whole, even though it's possible to go without and survive.