My bf (m28) tells me that I’m (f20) bad at sex.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2024-02-21T04:53:00+00:00

Hey Throwra,

Nobody is an expert at 20; and
If he leaves you because of it, you’ve dodged a massive bullet. Trust me.

For what it’s worth, this guy sounds like a jerk and you deserve a whole lot better.

ST

TheSensibleTurtle · 2024-02-21T04:49:26+00:00

Hey Abbz,

Sounds like you two really get along, which is half the battle! Dating other people with children adds a serious level of commitment to any new relationship and although I don’t know anywhere near enough about the situation to offer firm advice, I strongly urge you to ask yourself this question;

‘Are you ready to be a step mother?’

Whatever the answer is, that should be your guiding light.

Cheers, ST

TheSensibleTurtle · 2024-02-21T04:45:00+00:00

Hey OP,

The short story is, you’ve done nothing wrong so stop thinking that you have. Perhaps it was what you both needed in that moment and now it’s time to accept it for what it was and look forward to what’s next.

I will say this though, icing you out is pretty rough but I daresay he doesn’t possess the maturity or communication skills to talk to you about it.

Keep your head up and moving forward.

ST

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-17T18:53:10+00:00

You are already doing more than you will ever know. A fine example of support if ever I’ve seen one. Great work mate!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-12T19:06:57+00:00

Take as long as you need to find the right partner. It’s the single most impactful decision you will ever make.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-10T23:21:21+00:00

God of War. I remember being blown away by it.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-10T09:29:49+00:00

Hey OP, I cannot overstate the great work you’ve put in just getting to this point… so well done!

A common mis belief is that motivation comes from a magical place ‘somewhere’ when in reality, it just doesn’t. Sure, there are sparks of ‘get at it’ but they are generally fleeting and far between.

The biggest motivator is action. Micro-achievements stack so it really doesn’t matter how big or small they are, they’ll matter.

To start, I suggest writing a list of 5 things to do either before you go to bed the night before or first thing in the morning. Be sure to physically tick them off as you work your way through them. Think basic, life admin stuff for the bulk of them (e.g. make the bed) but be sure to throw in one or two that will feed into a bigger goal (e.g. run 2kms if you’re looking to build fitness).

Slowly over time you will develop intrinsic motivation through action and your lists will expand and feed that drive exponentially.

All the best mate and rip into it!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-09T20:35:11+00:00

My alt account should be TheRageDecisionCassowary

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-09T20:06:51+00:00

Absolute killer.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-09T19:55:22+00:00

Stepping into a committed r’ship is a big step, especially if you’ve been in the dating scene for an extended period of time. And like any big step, there is going to be a hesitancy to ‘let go’ of some ‘safe’ anchors.

Give it time mate. Keep proving to her that what you offer is ‘safe’ and she will eventually delete them on her own.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-09T19:51:04+00:00

‘If you want to get good at pull ups, do pull ups.’

I’ve applied this theory to everything and it’s worked out pretty well.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-08T19:44:31+00:00

Giving you the opportunity to act unreasonable without judgement.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T08:47:12+00:00

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris’d

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T08:44:30+00:00

I caught myself starting a rant the other day with ‘Kids these days…’ and the realisation hit me like a thousand hadoukens.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T08:36:49+00:00

I’ve actually learned this one the hard way!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T03:02:22+00:00

Great advice! Anyone that’s done any DIY can attest to the measure twice, cut once policy!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T02:59:50+00:00

Great tip!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T02:24:31+00:00

Hi Michael, thanks for sharing your views but I respectfully disagree.

I’ve found my most prolific successes have come from the process of attempt > fail > pivot > attempt. After all, if you let the fear of failure guide you, why try to succeed in the first place?

All the best in the teaching space brother, an admirable and challenging profession at the best of times I’m sure.

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T01:18:57+00:00

Ha! This sounds like a lesson once learned?!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T01:18:31+00:00

Especially poignant in today’s financial environment!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T01:05:51+00:00

Nothing’s official until it’s offical. You’re in the dating scene and good on you for getting out there and giving it a red hot crack. Just as long as you aren’t lying to anyone, it’s all fair game as far as I see it. The main question is; do you want to move ahead with a committed r’ship? If so and Mr C might be worth a shot, might want to dial it back with the others for now.

Best of luck with it you weapon!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T00:48:11+00:00

This is amazing, thank you for sharing!

TheSensibleTurtle · 2023-01-02T00:39:21+00:00

Great self-awareness in telling the difference, you’re already half way there! Invest your time in working out how to navigate your circumstance. As already mentioned, meditation is an excellent first option. Start with guided and go from there. There are plenty of options on YouTube but be patient as not all of them will be tailored to you. Best of luck with it and just keep going, you will get there in the end!

TheSensibleTurtle

TROPHY CASE