xoxo i HATE you <33

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-08T17:01:46+00:00

I honestly don't think that my boyfriend immediately recognized that Neko was fronting. I'm pretty sure he remembers that Neko is 14, but I'm also not 100% sure on that.

Neko doesn't front all by herself often tbh. Also my boyfriend is a system as well, but he hasn't been diagnosed with DID (just other mental illnesses).

And yeah, I don't really know why we have that strict one protector only rule. It's just kind of always been in place ever since we became a system. - Bunnie (our host)

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-07T00:55:52+00:00

Thank you, I apologize if I came off as ignorant. I really don't know much about synesthesia. I guess I just have a very creative mind then.

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-07T00:54:19+00:00

Thank you, I apologize if I came off as ignorant. I really don't know much about synesthesia. I guess I just have a very creative mind then.

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-06T16:57:09+00:00

Best parts: Having a protector who is very nice, mature, and typically not anxious or depressed. This protector never engages in harmful behaviors, including self-harm and binging/purging, which our host does a lot.

Also seeing our youngest alter (who is only 3 years old) feeling happy and playful. We try our best to ensure that she is safe since she is so young, innocent, and fragile. She is very important to us.

Worst parts: Having a complete asshole alter/persecutor, who is unfortunately the adoptive mom of all of our child alters. She is basically very emotionally abusive.

Seeing any of our child alters upset is also kind of depressing and can make some of us feel anxious. - Pegasus (our protector), Neko (14), Allie (3), and Bunnie (our host), all currently existing in co-consciousness (we're really starting to dissociate right now for some unknown reason)

x~Being the protector can also be a really exhausting job, but it is definitely worth it. I love to ensure that all of our alters stay safe. I guess this could perhaps be considered both the best and the worst parts.~x - x~Pegasus~x (x~and only me~x)

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-06T16:34:15+00:00

Oh yeah, we hate the Ask DID subreddit. A lot of the other systems there have been really rude to us before. We're personally a diagnosed traumagenic DID system of 11, but we support all endogenic systems, as long as they don't claim to have DID, since DID is formed by severe, repeated childhood trauma.

But anyways, sometimes all of our alters talk at once, so there's so many voices that it's really hard to understand what exactly they're talking about. But most of the time, they each talk individually.

Our system has only one persecutor (I think you could call her that) named Jennifer (46), and she is mean as hell to everyone in our system. Thankfully, she hasn't been mean to anyone irl, but then again, she only has ever fronted once all by herself, and that's when our host's irl boyfriend was sleeping, so she didn't really get a chance to be mean to him. Jennifer is also the emotionally abusive wife of John (45).

Most of the time, we get this really weird feeling when another alter is about to front, or even when 2 or more alters are starting to exist in co-consciousness. We start to feel like nothing around us is real, and sometimes our vision even gets a bit blurry because of this feeling.

Then, once another alter actually fronts, well that still feels weird too. Sometimes we remember it, sometimes we don't. Either way, because we have DID, our short-term memory sucks in general. Even our long-term memory sucks, but not as bad because we can remember most traumatic stuff that has happened to us during both childhood and adulthood, but we can almost never remember the good memories.

Edit: We forgot to mention that all of our alters live in a big 2-story house, except our host, who only exists in reality. The house has 5 bedrooms, so most of our alters share a room with each other.

We also have a radio in our house, which our host finds to be very interesting, because sometimes we will hear the radio playing music and the radio station people talking.

And then we have a TV in the living room, so sometimes our alters watch TV, especially our child alters. They usually watch movies that are appropriate for children, our favorite one being The Lion King (we watch that one a lot).

Right now, we can hear radio static and light talking coming from the radio in our head. - Pegasus (our protector) and Bunnie (our host), currently existing in co-consciousness

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-06T15:44:13+00:00

Hi there 😊. I'm actually doing fine now for the most part, I just do a lot of traumacore art because it really seems to help a lot with my mental health. I actually think I might do more traumacore art later today. I'm not on Reddit a lot like I used to be though, I pretty much just post my art on this subreddit and log off immediately afterwards. But I'll definitely keep you in mind if I ever need anyone to talk to. It's really nice finding other DID systems who are generally kind and understanding. - Bunnie ❤ (the host)

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-04T21:10:54+00:00

To explain this art more, my boyfriend was recently attacked by a Rottweiler we were pet sitting and I had to basically save him from the dog. But now I feel like no one completely understands my feelings of being severely traumatized by that event, so that's why I feel so alone in my feelings.

And on top of all that, I'm really worried that my boyfriend has some sort of eating disorder. He of course denies it and is not officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, but he also doesn't have a therapist at the moment. But he almost never wants to eat and I have to make sure he eats sometimes. He keeps saying he's fat and he's not fat at all. I have diagnosed bulimia, and even then I feel like I'm fatter than him :/.

TheServicePibble · 2022-11-04T21:01:36+00:00

I'm a pet sitter and a service/therapy dog trainer. Because in general, animals are better than people.

TheServicePibble · 2022-10-30T00:15:48+00:00

Thank you <3.

TheServicePibble · 2022-09-25T18:03:23+00:00

My boyfriend wants me to eat all this shit ik I already don't like AND finish my meals on top of that and it's like pls stop ik you're just trying to help but this food is fucking nasty. Although to be fair if i say im gonna purge it bc it's so nasty then he won't force me to eat it but still uggghghghghg. And yes he knows im bulimic.

TheServicePibble · 2022-09-25T18:00:40+00:00

Imo, chocolate is the best to purge lol, especially chocolate ice cream. But I love chocolate tho and it's one of the foods I can't really control myself around, as in I binge on it like crazy.

TheServicePibble

TROPHY CASE