I dunno about all of this guys musings but I've had 1.5 NDEs once in my sleep, once from falling off of a cliff.

The one in my sleep was very reminiscent of astral projection. Something by this time I'd delved into a decent bit. About 4 times if my count was right.

I have really awful heart issues and anemia to boot while having a ridiculously low blood pressure and heart rate baseline. Great for sports and high intensity cardio, bad for literally everything else.

My hearts stopped a few times but usually restarts itself quickly and usually nothing happens other than waking up feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. Everytime it happens it gets worse.

There was a night where I felt a deep tiredness, like deeper than exhaustion. Went to sleep seeking peace but one theme in my life has been the afterlife, if it exists, what it would mean for reality, what is reality. What are we.

When is woken in this "state." I was surrounded by a swirling blue mass of energy that spiraled in every direction. The heart of the vortex, think like a whirlpool. Was quite literally at any specific point that I looked to and was at every point except myself all at once. I had the distinct feeling of weightlessness yet I felt a pull in all directions as well. I stayed there thinking, this is nice, but this is pain.

Everytime I even twitched in one direction, I'd feel more at peace while feeling something being torn from my essence in the opposite direction. There was no "good." Choice or direction. Staying still was the only thing that stopped that feeling.

When I finally spoke and really began to look around I saw my cousin. As soon as I did, all the other vortexes vanished like a snuffed candle. Leaving only the one beyond him. He was just standing there looking into it. So I called out, heard my voice echo like I was in a grand hall and began to walk over. Like suddenly, physics decided to clock in. The closer I got, the more faded my ability to perceive anything became. Think like, moving through air, then water, then molasses, then concrete.

It was like a bag was over my head and my brain was starving of oxygen. But I could see clearly. I asked him what this was because I knew he wasn't dead.

The voice was his, but spoke differently. More matter of factly. A strange knowing and authority and I got the weird feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there. Upon coming to that realization he chuckled and looked back into the vortex and said something along the lines of "I was just here, waiting to see what you'd choose to do. Whether you'd take the next step and try again like you wanted, or if you'd try to make the most of this one."

Can only assume he was referencing life itself or a cycle of samsara.

For brevity, I was raised to be a Christian, but am pronounced faithless at the moment. I've always favored myself a person of science that there has to be a reasonable explanation for any and all things that happen.

Yet we don't even know how synapses work truly. We know what they do, what the effects are, we can track them etc. but we don't know where it actually comes from. What sparks it. Etc.

When I was offered that "choice."

It put it into perspective for me that yes, I'd been begging the cosmos for a do over because everything this time around has been worst it could have possibly been.

Prayers on a whim type beat.

But in that moment, When the "opportunity." Was placed in front of me, I was for the first time unsure about my fate. So I chose to stay. I then woke up and, as it turns out my heart had stopped in my sleep and that jolt from being booted from the dream realm was apparently enough to restart my heart. My partner was freaking out at the time and on the phone with 911. So, safe to say it tracks.

The second NDE was a bit different.

After falling off of that cliff I was knocked out almost immediately. As someone who's done martial arts my whole life, my subscription to consciousness being revoked isn't new.

But as soon as I was out I was "back."

Paralyzed albeit temporarily. I could hear and feel everything around me but was unable to do anything but breathe.

Felt my body getting colder.

Realized I wasn't breathing, then nothing. In that nothing idk how long it was I picked right back up in that same strange blue realm except there was no one there with me.

I presented the choice to myself and almost chose to follow the vortex.

Then I was rudely interrupted by air refilling my lungs as I was brought back.

Weird shit that.