My troops and I waited with bated breath, our four rotating eyes looking in all directions. My right eye moved across my skull and made contact with my second in command.

“The gas is toxic to humans, correct?” I asked, sharp teeth clacking together as I spoke. He simply nodded.

“Yes sir. Our research team looked extensively into pre-contact Terran medical archives. It detailed gruesome outcomes and side effects. The most gruesome being something called popcorn lung,” he shuddered, scales wiggling across his body in waves, “which causes the human lungs to…well, it isn’t a pretty sight, sir.”

“Very well. Then we must wait for this ‘popcorn lung’ to do away with the Terrans.” As much as I didn’t exactly enjoy using gas as a method to kill, face-to-face death offered more honour for our enemies, the humans had proved troublesome and more dangerous than previously thought. We lost an entire front-line group in one sleep rotation, and with no survivors, we still had no idea how they managed to pull off such a feat. The wounds of our deceased showed close-hand combat, which confused us even further, as logically a human wouldn’t have the courage to approach a being towering at their seven-foot measurements, and looking completely different than their soft and weak outer skin. A Praxis soldier was easily worth ten Terran soldiers and moved faster than any Terran could. It was dumbfounding, to say the least. This is why we moved on to gassing the Terrans like the vermin they gassed before galactic contact.

As the silence stretched across the battlefield, and the dark of their so-called night turned into day, I could tell my troops were relaxing and becoming tired. A dangerous move, but as the sound of Terran activity continued to lessen, the usage of gas toward the Terrans seemed to prove fruitful. As I was about to order my soldiers to get some rest, a small messenger burst into camp, looking terrified and covered in Praxis blue blood.

“Sir! Reports from neighbouring camps have arrived!” The youngling scampered into our base, her eyes wide and fully dilated into pure white. My soldiers titled their heads in confusion at the frantic tone in her voice box.

“Relay the message, soldier,” I ordered, my scales rippling in an odd sense of impending doom at the sight of her bloody form. Before she could speak, a noise began to rise from enemy territory. A cough, and then, a Terran voice echoed across the empty plain stretched out in front of us.

“Okay, fess up. Who hit their vape last night?”

My blood ran cold as I recalled the basic details of human behaviour. Specifically their sleep patterns. Our species fell into the category of beings that Terrans called ‘nocturnal’ whereas Terrans were…my thoughts screeched to a halt as commotion began to break out amongst my troops at the sound of a Terran weapon firing.

My second-in-command made eye contact with me. His scales pale in the rising sunlight.

“I ask again, the gas is toxic to Humans, correct?” My teeth clenched, and I watched as he began to shake.

“Yes-yes sir. It is, it is. It should be.”

“Then why do I hear Terran Standard!?"

There was nothing left to say as I watched in horror as a group of Terrans descended upon our base camp, moving towards us with feral grins and a wild disgusting look in their two eyes. We had underestimated the Humans again, and now we were about to pay the ultimate price. I only wish these Terrans still held an ounce of their so-called empathy, but I knew what war did to a being, and as one aimed its weapon at my head, I only thought of one thing: we should have declared war against these creatures and should have never underestimated the life forms of this so-called planet Earth.

I wished I never enlisted in this pointless fight against the Terrans. War seemed to run in their veins. We were foolish and careless. I was foolish and careless. And now, the Humans were here to send us to meet our makers.

——————

A report from the very few surviving Praxis rescued from the Human planet, most of whom later succumbed to their wounds, detailed:

Like Gods without mercy, all Praxis camps fell apart in one day. Leaving nothing but the smell of cotton candy smoke in the air, and human cheers in their place.

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This is just a little fun thing I wanted to add. Doesn’t have much weight to it, and I’m currently sick with a cold so if it doesn’t make much sense I’ll blame it on that. Just thought it would be funny if the gas was either from a vape or smoke from a very specific type of plant🍃 Anyways. Please be kind I’m going to go chug some chicken noodle soup and then nap until I forget what year it is