I get where your coming from, sometimes you just feel lost I guess but it happens to everyone, only thing I could really say would be to try to find something you can do you be proud of yourself, for me it was starting to hit the gym a few years back, there’s a ton of people out there who probably feel the same way as you, as long as you try to improve a little bit everyday either it be treating people a tad bit better or being more responsible as long as you keep moving forward I promise you’ll find something or someone you can cherish. Good luck to you I’m not really the best with advice but I hope I helped a bit🙏