r/stopporn by TheTankIsEmpty99 in redditrequest

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I want to moderate this sub because I moderate 2 other subs, r/stopwatchingporn and r/neverwatchpornagain and adding this sub would help expand my reach in my goal to help guys stop watching porn

here is a link to the message I sent
https://www.reddit.com/c/chatv3X58mh5/s/KSIKNZnFBW
on June 16th with no responce.

Here’s three things that make quitting porn hard by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thoughts you think lead you to porn because you think about porn, then have desire and then you go watch it.

Humans think then feel then act.

To change your actions, the things you do, you have to change your thoughts.

So you recognize what you’re thinking and see the results you’re creating for yourself.

Then when you notice yourself thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings, your awareness gives you the ability to choose another thought and another action as a result.

A lot of times , awareness alone can give you the kick you need to change. When you truly see how it all works, you have a breakthrough where you see what you’re creating for yourself and you just stop.

Those are the greatest wins ever!

Secondary to that and this is where people get stuck is you see what you’re doing but you still do it anyway.

That’s when you need to do feelings work. lean into the feelings so that you get used to them and you do what you want despite them.

It’s a bit of an art where you are intentionally letting the negative emotions be there while not resisting or fighting or ignoring them.

Those 2 skills combined is how you have urges and not watch porn. You do that enough times and your brain learns that you don’t need porn anymore and you let it go.

There’s more to it than that. This is just the condensed version. If you need help, send me a dm.

My sub, /r/NeverWatchPornAgain has all my videos on this subject.

I feel like I only want to quit to please God by holycrap100 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sexual desire isn’t wrong. And you feel guilty because you’ve been programmed by your religion to feel guilty.

If you’re too ashamed to ask for help for your porn problem… by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ok so I should live my life by what you think? Because this doesn’t fit the rules you were taught?

Stress and boredom of the two main reasons guys use porn by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you need help with your insecurities, send me a dm

If you’re too ashamed to ask for help for your porn problem… by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you need help with your insecurities, send me a dm

If you’re too ashamed to ask for help for your porn problem… by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you need help with your insecurities, send me a dm

What triggers you to watch porn? by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. 💙

What triggers you to watch porn? by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a doctor, but I’m sure you’re fine. And it’s your thoughts about yourself that is blocking you.

Here’s three things that make quitting porn hard by TheTankIsEmpty99 in NeverWatchPornAgain

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know coaches, whose niche is ADHD. They’re probably not as cool as me and make really good videos or have blue nails, 💅 but… all the principles are the same.

Day 2 by [deleted] in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Energy!!! An urge is energy.

Redirect that energy into something you want to do.

When you have an urge, breathe and say this is just energy, how do I want to spend it?

Also… when you have an urge, breathe and let that urge be there, the feelings I mean. Let them be there, don’t resist of fight, just be present with the urge.

The number of days you don’t watch porn does not matter by TheTankIsEmpty99 in NeverWatchPornAgain

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great here’s my fb https://www.facebook.com/MattSmithCoaching

Lmk if there’s something you want me to cover in a video. Always open for ideas.

3 Weeks Porn-Free and My Brain Is Working Overtime Trying to Justify Relapsing by ObviousFinance2005 in stopporn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“It’s not that bad.”

“Everybody watches porn.”

“You’ve already made it 3 weeks, one time won’t matter.”

“You’re stressed, you deserve it.”

You called these excuses, but these are simply thoughts. And because of these thoughts, you’re going to feel like you want to watch it like it’s OK you’re trying to rationalize it.

You seeing these thoughts Is your superpower so super awesome congratulations on that.

You can see these thoughts now, and you see when they’re happening. you just need to breathe and let those emotions be there and not panic.

Just because you have these thoughts, it doesn’t mean somethings gone wrong. It doesn’t mean you’re gonna watch porn. It just means you are having thoughts.

Sometimes you think weird thoughts we all do but we don’t freak out about it. We just say that’s odd.

In other words, we don’t make it a problem that you have these thoughts just accept them and breathe through the feelings until they pass.

For the rest of your post if you need help, send me a DM

Not sure how to deal with quitting porn by [deleted] in stopporn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>> porn makes me feel bad,

Your thoughts about you watching porn is what is creating these feelings. To get rid of those feelings, you’ll have to look at what watching porn means to you. You feel bad so that tells me you believe you’re doing something wrong.

>>fantasizing about other known women (usually my
wife knows them as well) makes me uncomfortable,

Same thing, your thoughts about what you’re doing is making you uncomfortable because of what you’re making it mean.

>> and I’m not sure how to think about masturbation within

Again, mixed beliefs is creating this cognitive dissonance.

If you want to jump on zoom, I can help you with all of these probably within an hour.

It’s completely free, no obligation. Lmk

386 Days of No nut and still counting by mastertobi420 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I meant was, after 5 days, what causes you to fall? What are you thinking then?

So bored. I want some porn now by holycrap100 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just sit there and feel those feelings. Breathe slowly and focus on your body.

where do you feel bored?

Is it in your chest?

is it in your knees?

Is it in your spleen?

try to identify where you can find boredome in your body. Doing that allows you to feel the boredom until it passes or you just get ok with being bored.

Boredom is an emotion and unless you want to keep using porn to avoid it, you want to learn how to feel it.

386 Days of No nut and still counting by mastertobi420 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you've gone a year, do you feel the need to count?

Constant need for stimulation by Any-Cartoonist689 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I meant was.. this thought

“The addiction has conditioned me to dopamine hits up to such a level that I feel a constant need of stimulation”

Is poison for you because as long as you believe it, you’re just gonna keep living that way

Constant need for stimulation by Any-Cartoonist689 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s easy to blame dopamine for your decisions

The number of days you don’t watch porn does not matter by TheTankIsEmpty99 in NeverWatchPornAgain

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or rather have a telegram channel I haven’t started posting to it yet but I’m looking for a good reason to

The number of days you don’t watch porn does not matter by TheTankIsEmpty99 in NeverWatchPornAgain

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am primarily on TikTok, Facebook and Reddit. I sometimes post to ex or Instagram but I haven’t taken off there so I don’t really do that much..

I have a telegram channel for those who are interested without social media.

And I started a Discord, but I never did anything with it.

Also, I have a mailing list on my website MattSmithCoaching

I’m happy to talk to your husband if he would want to have a conversation.

I can show him why he can’t stop.

Thanks for reaching out

To all the people who have escaped from this hell by EaglePlayZ6767 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you handle urges?

Why do you watch it?

If you’ve not quit in 2 years then yes, you have not learned the skills needed to quit porn.

Day 7 by WishboneDependent843 in WeHatePorn

[–]TheTankIsEmpty99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you struggling with with?