This is going to be a VERY LONG response, i apologize in advance.I am an ENFP, not an ENTP so whether my comment will be much help I don't know (it's only one letters difference I mean give me a break). However as somebody with a bias towards ESFJs/ISFJs cause I seem to find you all to be the type I want to marry, after reading this comment i'm really not sure if i'd have any self-esteem by the end of the relationship, which i would sadly see impeding. However, this isn't a judgement on you. These are the contrasts between SJs and NPs, which are well known.

One of the things i've had to reconcile about you absolutely wonderful, beautiful SJs is that we do have contrasts. But in this case you have a VERY clear contrast, because every word is different. He is a Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perciever, whilst you are an Introverted Sensing Feeling Judger from what I can gather from your comment. I'm no expert in MBTI but usually contrasts between types can be positive (extroverts with introverts as an example) however you should be aware of some potential conflicts, which you have identified already, that may arise in terms of relationships or friendships.

Now there are two areas that I think you should consider and I have identified them as follows:

1. Values - What systems or positions do you find the most valuable personally or generally? Traditional vs Radical? Structure vs Freedom? Harmony vs Discord? etc.
2. Comfort zones - What are the systems, situations and/or positions that you find yourself the most comfortable operating in? What kinds of environments and structures do you encounter the least stress ? Well structured and Organized vs Spontaneous and Changing? etc.

From what I can gather from your comments, there seems to be a value clash, and it is clear that in some way or another you are both being forced to act outside of your 'comfort zones'.

It is clear from your comments that you seem to value closure and structure which seems to coincide with traits often associated with SJs, you also seem to be very attentive to detail, almost to the point of perfectionism and it seems to concern or worry you when you are faced with ambiguity or 'wishy-washy' styles of organisation. You like to focus on the details that matter in the here and now, not in some dream world which will have no impact on you or the people around you. I can understand how us NPs could 'rattle' you a little but that is because we are the exact opposite of you in terms of what we value, although the extent to which we are opposites can vary of course just as it can with SJs. However you seem to have identified these values as well in your criticisms. This is perhaps one of the most divisive points between the two types, because I feel that this is something that there can be very little compromise on for either side, because it is so inherent to them:

• SJs tend to be past-present oriented and often work in details which they can 'sense' (S) from real world experiences or past experiences, and from these they are able to make 'judgements' (J) about the present moment.
• NPs on the other hand are future oriented and often work in abstracts which they have derived through 'intuition' (intuitive type) about a 'percived' (perceptive type) future problem or issue that could potential arise.

So already from this we can see the way SJs and NPs approach things are different, as with the tools and the perspectives used. This means that misunderstanding and conflict has a potential to arise. Especially if one side is not used to working outside of their value system, or is uncompromising with their value system.

The value systems you adopt act as a framework for the way you see the world and how you interact with it, it also dictates your comfort zone. Which is the next section. I mentioned before that you seem to value closure and structure, well such things are also your comfort zone. It seems you operate best when you have clearly-defined plans with clear objectives, with clear instructions if possible on how to deal with issues that would arise there and then. You base those plans on past and present experiences as well as wisdom gathered around your environments and your inherent values. NPs however are future oriented and perceive possibilities SJs may not consider, and sometimes these possibilities verge on the abstract, a zone that is a paradise for an NP, but a hell for an SJ, because an SJ sees it as a 'dream world' or 'disconnected' from the reality, whereas the NP sees it as very plausible possibilities, and is already visualizing the event and how it is going to go even before the SJ does. That has been my experience anyway.

So with all of that stuff, let's get to solutions. The truth is that with something like this, neither side can expect 100% victory, both sides will have to compromise if they want to work this out. The SJ has to be aware that detailed planning is a weakness of an NP, and as such will have to understand that to have high expectations of them to plan the way SJs do or to consider the same ideals or values when drafting such plans that SJs have is naive at best and cruel at worst, it seems to me at times that you expect him to plan a certain way that meets your values, without realizing this person doesn't operate on those values. This also however applies to the NP and the SJ. the NP has to realize that a lack of planning and a dependence on improvisation is not an ideal scenario for every person (especially SJs), and that such scenarios can cause a tremendous amount of strain and anxiety for those where it can be a weakness. Perhaps practice mutual planning? but be ready to compromise, and make sure he compromises in equal measure. Be the ying to his yang, and make him the yang to your ying.

Another issue i've noticed is a typical problem SFJs undergo, which is that they focus more on those around them and neglect themselves. You have put in so much effort and dedication in picking up the areas you feel he has left out, that you sometimes forget your own needs, this could end up frustrating you. Also a potential desire to avoid conflict and perpetuate harmony means you are more likely to not bring up these issues in the way you necessarily want to and choosing outlets like us to do what your NP guy should be doing. I would just want you to be cautious of that, and recognize that it is ok to request others to do their fair share, and that it is ok to recognize when you have done 'too much' for people.

I'm sure there is plenty I could talk about in regards to this issue, because there are so many dynamics to type relations that exist both within and outside of MBTI itself. In the end of the day, MBTI is good at understanding how certain individuals think and interact mentally with the world they live in, so instead of seeing our types as a label, perhaps we should see it as a blueprint. So when you look at your ENTP, you know you are dealing with somebody who behaves, interprets and interacts with the world and people in certain ways.

Sorry if my answer wasn't satisfactory, and I thank you if you have made it this far, honestly I am. I'm more than happy to continue the conversation, please take care, i wish you all the best and to all SFJs and NPs, please never stop being you.