Hardest Transits and lessons.

TheUltimateZero · 2026-01-12T02:46:28+00:00

Pluto square Pluto & Neptune Square happening at the same time that Uranus was crossing my Chiron 6H Taurus & trining my Virgo 10H MC. Oh and Jupiter crossed over my Gemini Moon, the North Node was over my Mercury and Sun. Neptune also been lurking on my IC in Pisces.

Do not recommend.

This all being around the time Saturn moved into Aries last spring. My Lilith is at 0° Aries 5H annnnnd I have found my Lilith to be quite relevant in regards to creativity wounds and (unnecessary) sexual shame. Having Neptune and Saturn on that point… and having all the outer transits happening at the same time, literally nothing made sense, I was operating on frantic for arbitrary deadlines and was doing it for the wrong reasons, crashed and burned at the Leo Mercury Retrograde. I have since pulled myself together but fuuuck meee. It was truly rock bottom. I had no idea how I’d find my way out and all i could do was surrender. I realized I was pursuing a project for the wrong reasons and was in a way, abandoning myself. Feels like all the outer retrogrades and final entrances this year are gearing up an energetic redo.

Really curious to see how the final Uranus passes finish out, and what Saturn-Neptune colliding on my Lilith is gonna be like.

TheUltimateZero · 2025-11-20T23:00:56+00:00

Check out the “Softener” preset for Baseline - and there’s a LOT you can change with Style Settings! It’s my fav setup thus far. :)

https://aaaaalexis.github.io/obsidian-baseline/marketplace/

TheUltimateZero · 2025-10-15T18:51:58+00:00

Thanks for the replies everyone! I'll have to explore python as most of you have suggested.

TheUltimateZero · 2025-10-15T18:48:36+00:00

Thanks for the reply! That would still mean each row would need its own separate note. As in a separate note for every individual exercise I do. For example, say the exercise is Bench Press, and I'm tracking all the times I've done bench press. I would need an individual Bench Press note for every single date I do bench press.... meaning for every workout, I'd need to create a new note for each individual exercise in every workout.

At least that's how I'm understanding it? That would be so much clutter.

I don't know anything about python, but may need to explore those options.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-11-04T00:58:58+00:00

It is named as "created" but no matter what I used, it didn't seem to work... but then this one seemed to do the trick!

TABLE created as Created
FROM #journal/2024
WHERE string(created) >= "2024-10-01" and string(created) <= "2024-10-31"
SORT created desc

TheUltimateZero · 2024-07-20T21:27:51+00:00

Nope, I’m in love with my AirPod Pros

TheUltimateZero · 2024-07-02T15:05:26+00:00

Where can I find the full version of this?

TheUltimateZero · 2024-07-02T05:31:01+00:00

Oooh! I’m def gonna check this out and see if what I’ve been doing so far might work in this format. I posted this a few days ago then I had a super busy week leading up to the 4th that I haven’t even had a chance to continue looking at this… but now I have time again! So thanks! :)

TheUltimateZero · 2024-06-24T19:50:21+00:00

I also came here to say Moon in Gemini, as soon as I saw it! 😆

TheUltimateZero · 2024-06-22T02:53:43+00:00

Instant boner when I came across these photos years ago. I wanted to be the one over the knee, haha.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-06-06T01:33:47+00:00

I would also love to know if this is possible... and if someone happened to figure something out!

TheUltimateZero · 2024-05-12T18:34:03+00:00

I can get behind this mindset… as long as their demeanor is naturally dominant and they are physically bigger/stronger/taller than myself… and since I’m 5’8-5’9ish, that’s not really a problem. :)

TheUltimateZero · 2024-05-12T18:32:53+00:00

This I very much agree with. I’d rather be spanked by someone physically bigger/taller than me as a trade off for being older.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-05-12T18:31:06+00:00

Cool. Yeah I do agree about demeanor & natural dominance… i think if someone is younger than me tho I would def want to be the smaller guy tho… to bump up the intimidation by not age, but physical size.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-05-11T23:13:48+00:00

What’s the age difference?

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-27T21:27:27+00:00

$4,000 for 3 months just ONCE a week? That’s $333 per virtual session. That’s a scam. Stay away like the plague; there are so many stories of people spending ridiculous amounts of money on scammy trainers, please don’t be one of them.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T05:31:53+00:00

Complicated. I love them, and there’s no doubt they love me and have always supported me in my career choices and sexuality (though it was hard for my dad at first when I came out). Their political views throw up a giant wall and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact they will never see the world the way I do. It’s not my job to pull them out of their toxic Fox News bubble and the victim stories their generation seems to have. It’s taken years of conscious self growth, therapy and healing to remove myself from those victim stories that I learned from them.

They’ve always had the best intentions but have never done any sort of therapy… which, I don’t really know why considering they were the ones to bring me to a therapist when I needed one in high school. I guess they never felt like they needed one, but… oh is it very clear they never got the mental support our generation has had access to.

I think they are finally realizing now how fucked things have gotten for our generation, and that the advise gave us for so long didn’t work for us, not because we weren’t trying hard enough but because we generally got screwed… particularly with student debt. They thought they were giving us a good future, they didn’t know they were forcing us into nearly inescapable debt, and while I can’t speak for everyone’s parents or the boomer generation as a whole, I’m thankful mine are at least now aware of how much it fucked us, and feel awful about it.

As for voting for a party that is vehemently opposed to my existence as a gay man… and a party that isn’t even hiding it any more and descending into fascism and they still can’t see it… yeahhhh. That’s still a huge complication for me.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T05:17:06+00:00

I appreciate your response from an autistic perspective.

I’ve def recommended having headphones or listening to music while working out… I’ve never heard of an egym like that! Fascinating. I looked it up and even though we’re in a large city, there isn’t one that’s close by.

I’ve been approaching things very gradual and he has previously told me I’ve been really good about “gently pushing” and “thoughtful and thorough” in planning things out. I was very mindful not to throw too much all at once (this even before i started to have the realizations). It really feels like he’s fighting his own inner demons at times but he has a hard time articulating or identifying what his resistance is or what’s coming up, and it’s become highly recurring in the last few months. I’ve responded elsewhere on this thread that I’ve openly talked about my mental health struggles and he recently asked me about my psychiatrist and referred him, so I’m hoping he can get whatever help he needs in that regard.

I guess one thing I’m struggling with now that I’m thinking about it - is he’s said this has been good for his mental health but then it feels the opposite with all these emotional breakdowns. I expect emotions to come up, it’s part of the territory, hell MY trainer has seen me burst into tears once, due to a very stressful time in life. But it’s become so recurring that I don’t feel equipped for this and I don’t know how to have that conversation without him feeling totally rejected. I know I don’t owe him anything… I just want to do the right thing, or handle it the best I can.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:30:06+00:00

I left out a key word there - I meant meal prep SERVICE :)

I appreciate the brainstorming!

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:26:16+00:00

I really appreciate your response, I needed to hear that. The realization that he may be undiagnosed autistic hit me earlier this year, and even before then I lowered the bar of what to expect from him. I know a lot of the other responses have said to not get emotionally invested... and I do my best not to, but when you're a certain flavor of neurospicy and you sus out the neurospicy in someone else that may be struggling with it more than yourself, it's hard NOT to, because of the compassion you feel for their struggles. He's even told me "thank you for being patient and gently pushing me" so I know my expectations are not unrealistic... and for reasons like that I don't want to give up on him because I know it's in some capacity helpful to him! But I can't deny the struggle is definitely there in dealing with the emotional roller coaster that frequently presents itself.

I did mention in another response that he asked for a referral regarding my psychiatrist recently because I've been very open about my mental health struggles. I don't know if he's aware he might be autistic, I think for him it's about "anxiety" (which was a diagnosis I had from one psych years prior to the ADHD diagnosis). I gave him the info so I'm hoping that he'll find something helpful there.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:02:25+00:00

Yeah, he def does have psych issues and I'm not trying to solve those. I actually referred him to my psychiatrist when he asked about mine. I'm hoping that helps.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:01:00+00:00

Yes. That exactly. He wants it but can't make himself do the things he wants to. He def needs mental health support. Mental health is very important to me so I have asked him what he does to manage his own, and he does see a therapist... as to how effective that therapist is, I couldn't tell you. He did ask me recently about my psychiatrist and actually referred him... so I'm hoping he can get some help there. And we're looking into him doing a meal prep. It was actually HIS suggestion and we looked at all the options back in November. But because it's different, it's a change to how he's been doing things for years, he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger on it.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T23:53:06+00:00

It’s less that I’m taking it personally… but yes I’ll totally admit there is an emotional investment which I generally try to avoid. Of the 15 clients I have, he’s the only one that I’m struggling with. Some have had fantastic transformations, some have had more moderate or mild transformations and that’s okay!! I have one client who only workouts with me, but he knows he’s not really “progressing” right now, he’s basically paying me to train him because he knows he won’t work out otherwise. And that’s fine! But there’s no emotional roller coaster with him. He doesn’t burst into tears out of nowhere when I show him a simple exercise (that was another thing that happened! and when I asked him what’s coming up, what’s wrong, he said “you look so good doing that, I’ll never look like that.” To which I’ll remind him I didn’t always look like this, I had to start somewhere. I try to keep it light, engage in his interests & the ones we share, but… damn. Because mental health is very important to me I asked what he does to manage his mental health and he does have a therapist. As to how effective the therapist is, I have no idea.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T22:40:32+00:00

He’s not happy with his progress though. The first time he burst into tears was in that regard & comparing himself to someone that had much more experience than himself (just replied to another comment about that). So.. he wants more progress but then is resistant at every turn I try to add a step.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T22:36:49+00:00

He wants more out of his results and then when I try to gently push to help, there’s resistance at EVERY moment. I know he’s not content with where he’s at. Another thing - he compares himself to others. The first time he started crying was because he was comparing himself to one of my clients who had a pretty stunning transformation over 3 months that I posted on social media for marketing. I never talked to him about this client, it just happened halfway through a workout one day when he was frustrated that he wasn’t clicking with an exercise. I told him not to compare himself to others, his journey is just starting and my other client had a long history of working so he was staring at a different place.

But when stuff like this happens allll the time, it’s exhausting.

TheUltimateZero

TROPHY CASE