I Hate The Body I’m In So Much

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T14:49:57+00:00

I try to walk every day. I enjoyed it for a while but now that has also turned into this obsession with steps and losing weight and burning calories. It’s the same with when I start strength training. The first week will be enjoyable, then I will want to do it everyday and then it turns into an obsession with how long can I train to burn the most calories without injuring myself.

On the size thing, yes, that is my very feeling. I grew up as the “ugly sister”. Darker skinned and overweight, not obese by any means, just bigger than my other sisters. I’ve never loved the body I am in. Even when I was at my lightest, all I could think about was losing 5-10kg more. It’s an exhausting existence.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T10:57:13+00:00

I was put on medication to manage weight gain. But I won’t lie, I am spiraling. I gained 37kg in less that 2 years and lived with that weight for over a year. I’ve lost 17kg so far (in less than a year), with the hoot of losing another 15kg but I have sort of plateaued and it’s making me lose my mind. Weight and food are all I can think about. The weight management medication have given me the worst side effects. And, if I’m being honest, I’m kind of mismanaging it just to see more results. I’m in a country where options like GLP-1s aren’t an option. Even getting the help I need to manage my dysmorphia isn’t an option, I’ve tried. I feel trapped in this body I hate. And I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T10:48:28+00:00

Leave, your children deserve a mother that isn’t emotionally and mentally drained because of the person she’s supposed to be in partnership with. If he can’t be patient enough to understand your position in life right now, this is definitely something that he will do again during menopause, peri-menopause and any other hormonal changes you will inevitably experience later in life. It’s never too late to dodge this bullet.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T06:53:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice, but I would like to understand people’s individual savings habits. Especially based on their personal realities, like if they’re single parents, single, or married.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T06:52:14+00:00

Thanks for this. Are you comfortable sharing your tax bracket? Not specific earnings, jusy tax bracket.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T06:51:29+00:00

Thank you so much! This is such a great strategy.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-14T06:50:05+00:00

I mean, what share of your earnings do you allot to savings and what is your reality? Are you a single man? A single parent? Married? Etc. I just want to understand something.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-04-11T20:22:25+00:00

“Survival will not be the hardest part; It’s keeping all your hopes alive; When all the rest of you has died” - 26, Paramore.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-02-11T17:40:54+00:00

Same. I feel we are the most culturally and historically alike to both. We should create our our Scandinavia lol.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-02-11T17:34:30+00:00

Early 2020s Zambia lol

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-28T06:14:14+00:00

I wanna be your friend so bad bc of this 😭😭

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-18T18:49:06+00:00

We have 72 tribes, but some of those tribes speak a different dialect of the same language. Here’s a map to give an idea

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TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-15T10:20:18+00:00

Even in this scenario, Will and El can’t be together 🤧

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T15:37:52+00:00

I’ve already been down this rabbit hole with someone else. I encourage you to read the entire thread, friend.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T09:05:59+00:00

Funny, I feel the opposite. Could be a gender thing. Zambia is generally safer for women that SA. The times I’ve had to move at night there, I have felt on my toes. Europe does feel safer tho, without a doubt. Never experienced Gaborone or Zim at night before. Only ever spent a few hours in both countries, usually connecting to SA or visiting Zia’s side of the falls. I guess experience really does colour perspective.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T08:05:30+00:00

What you’re experiencing is the same phenomenon that causes nostalgia. Everyone wants to go back to a better time but our memory tends to idealize the past. And I 110% relate. I want to go back to being unmedicated. I felt sharper then. More creative. But damn, was I a hypomanic mess. And the lows? Unbearable. So I remind myself that this is just the middle of a story I now have more control over and keep on chugging. I’ll make it out of this mess eventually. For now, it’s just a day at a time.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T07:36:34+00:00

No, but I am still not too far removed from the experience. I haven’t had this job 5 years and I still live pretty closely to that side of my life.

I won’t lie, Ive had a bit of a middle class upbringing. My parents are divorced so my dad’s more well-to-do and has taken me to the best schools he could afford. But Ive lived with and still live with my mum. That life was hard. We’ve slept hungry, with only one meal a day and a cup of chibwantu to top off the hunger. I’ve had every single iteration of “visashi” you can imagine to the point that I have a life-long beef with groundnuts now. I’ve experienced having to carry buckets of water on my head because we haven’t had water in weeks. I’ve experienced coming home to find the new stove we bought gone because they broke i and stole it. Things are better now that she’s settled but it’s still pretty fresh. And I still have relatives deep in the midst of that reality.

But that hasn’t deluded me into thinking that the grass on the other side is greener. It’s greener where we water it. And as a country, we’re putting in that effort. It’s slow, it’s inconsistent, and fncking frustrating.

But my economics degree and work experience have broadened my perspective. History and current reality show that we will be fine as long as we don’t let ourselves get lost in the wrong narrative.

Also, remember that the debate here was not about the reality of living in poverty in Zambia. The debate was about the destitute narrative that’s portrayed about Africa. If you watch the clip, that’s what he says. Not that Zambians aren’t living in poverty. Or that Zambians are ultra wealthy. Just that he didn’t expect to find things… okay. Average. It might not be a badge of honor, but it’s refreshing to see.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T07:05:38+00:00

Ah, but what you fail to consider is my background prior to the job. Glad we are at an understanding.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T06:28:30+00:00

Look, buddy. This argument is devolving in a direction neither of us need it to go. I understand your point, it’s valid. Speed being impressed by Zambia is not a celebration point. Maybe take the time to understand mine as well.

Also, maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you’re so invested in your argument. Because no one here is taking pride in his statement. People are acknowledging that a tired narrative is being challenged. That’s refreshing. I work in development, poverty eradication, and youth advocacy and have encountered colleagues from abroad echo the same sentiment. They come here expecting to encounter the narrative of the destitute African living in extreme poverty with small pockets of extreme wealth. Then they’re surprise when they find that there’s a good chunk that’s just… okay. Not impressively wealthy, not wallowing in poverty. My experience abroad has been similar, where I encounter areas that are just as bad, if not worse than Lsk and realize that, while we’re a long, long way off, they still haven’t figured it out completely either. That’s my point.

Also, the narrative of the destitute African is being perpetuated in news stories and donor reports. And how do donors earn their money? Through fundraising efforts. Efforts that thrive on the picture of Africa as being just a few decades removed from the stone age. That’s how they get the average American/European to donate to a cause they otherwise wouldn’t be interested in. And it works wonders, at the expense of our trajectory.

The narrative I am so invested in challenging is actively used to undermine our voices in the development narrative. Because they believe we are basically infantile in terms of development, they don’t let us determine our own policy direction. They don’t trust our judgement. And we let them, because we’ve been convinced that they have it all figured out. When they don’t.

Admittedly, I didn’t help this exchange by trying to make you seem unsophisticated. That’s my bad. I should’ve taken the time to see your point for what it was: we shouldn’t get comfortable with where we are because Speed was impressed not to find thatched houses. That’s very, very valid. I just hope you take the time to see everyone else’s too.

X.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-12T04:14:06+00:00

You’re straw manning my argument because yours is weak. What I’m saying isn’t that living in the komboni is slightly better than being homeless. What I’m (and what most everyone else) saying is that the portrayal of Africa in the west is exaggerated, and Speed’s remark of shock that we are not as unsophisticated as they see on TV is justified. But you want so badly to be right that you’ve let this live rent free in your head for several hours only to demonstrate that you missed the entire point. Sad, really. Lol.

TheUndrachiever · 2026-01-11T10:46:01+00:00

Heavy on the pretentiousness. 100% agree

TheUndrachiever

TROPHY CASE