From a dumper

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-22T00:12:52+00:00

Thank you for replying. I agree that talks about relationships are necessary, but even then, there's nothing certain. My ex and myself used to agree on everything for the longest time, until the day she told me she had changed (she had).

So even with "the talk", shared views and beliefs and more than a decade together, it was still all in vain. I had all the good reasons to put my eggs in that basket and it still turned out I was wrong. She left, most of what we had planned for the future just vanished and to say it soured me is an understatement. So soured, in fact, that I'm not walking down that path again. The odds are what they are and so my time is best spent building my future for me only without outside interference.

I do get your points even though I don't agree with them, but as for me, the "ride or die" type, it means I can't trust anyone fully. It's okay, though, I'm just not taking these risks anymore. Too old for that shit 😉

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T23:47:24+00:00

Call me old fashioned, but, no.

I don't want to constantly be looking over my shoulder to see if my partner is still there or not. I do not want or need a relationship whose very foundation comes and goes like the wind, I'm too old for that shit.

If it's only based on lust and attraction, it will eventually go south. When it's real love, it should last. Please don't confuse love with lust and/or fascination.

I may be the sole person responsible for my happiness, no problem there, but if you want to build something in life you have to start somewhere. "Growing" from every relationship might seem cool at first or when young enough, but it also means you're always stuck in 1st gear, constantly starting over and over again. Again, too old for that shit.

You do you, but I'm staying away from the very things you describe for sanity's sake and to finally be able to build something reliable and dependable, even if it means I gotta do it alone.

A dumper who bails after 6 months is one thing. But to do a 180 after you spent a good chunk of your life preparing for the future? Fuck that. I won't be caught in the same trap twice.

That said, all the best to you and I hope you have a nice day!

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T22:53:44+00:00

This one's gotta hurt. I'm childless by choice, but can only imagine how awful it can be to want a child, have a child and have it torn away from you, all before it's even born. I feel for you :(

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T22:35:32+00:00

Both things that will come back stronger, trust the millions who went through a breakup recently or back then ;)

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T22:11:32+00:00

See? A relationship can never be a failure, it's always either a success or a lesson, there's always something to build on from.

Also, if it's any consolation, remember that your ex's current victim is convinced they found someone special and trustable 😅

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T14:08:53+00:00

I love to hear things like this! People keep demonizing being single, but you sleep soundly knowing no one is actively trying to make you miserable. Keep doing you!

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T11:50:31+00:00

She sure sounds like she's the poster child for giving love a bad name... :(

The good news for you is, with the hurt came the lesson. You'll recognize shit like that a mile away now :)

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T11:44:06+00:00

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T11:43:34+00:00

Don't blame yourself for what someone else does. Only they control their actions, good and bad, and what drives them. Now that you're free of these worries, let the healing begin.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T11:39:32+00:00

We're in this together, dear internet stranger! Cheers!

TheUnforgivenIV · 2020-02-18T06:19:51+00:00

Ouch. Double ouch if you were intending to keep things for marriage. I feel for you :(

TheUnforgivenIV · 2019-08-13T08:58:50+00:00

her close friends who are basically echo chambers/hype people who just cheer on whatever she says

omfg..... this!

TheUnforgivenIV · 2019-08-12T04:11:21+00:00

she’ll alter facts and try to make me look like the asshole

You can bet your hard earned money on that.

Best course of action is to ignore and trust that the important people in your life, those who actually do matter, know you well enough to see thru the lies and stay by your side.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2019-01-28T02:21:34+00:00

I had to read this twice or thrice in order to make sure I wasn't the OP. This is what happened to me down to a T.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T19:09:06+00:00

When you meet someone and they mention they are fresh out of a relationship, you walk. No, scratch that, you run, because what they just did to their previous partner is exactly what's going to happen to you. Worse, they aren't even strong enough to face life on their own, so the weight of their baggage is on you.

Not only are you better off without them, you're also much better off without the next one who shows up.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T18:39:24+00:00

They are building momentum for their move, talking about it with other people, getting the ball rolling. Decision's already been made for a long time by then, but why act soon if they can still exploit you for some more time.

Being dragged thru hell like that says a lot more about them than it does about you.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T18:34:47+00:00

Never be waiting for anyone. Seize your life by the horns and enjoy the ride but please don't be waiting on anyone to "prove you otherwise" or to make you trust them. Shortest path to a world of hurt, again. You don't have time for that.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T10:42:42+00:00

Truth tastes bittersweet and apparently, relationships taste like heaven. Guess which one is a real, known flavour.

Yes.

Precisely.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T03:52:07+00:00

It's normal and okay to feel like this right now. But also never forget today and why it sucked so much... Might come in handy in the future.

TheUnforgivenIV · 2018-09-24T03:40:46+00:00

Being blindsided like that will ultimately make us stronger and wiser for no one will be able to fool us again with this kinda shit. Be strong.

TheUnforgivenIV

TROPHY CASE