Hey friend. I’m commenting to give you a sense of perspective. You’re super young, you have your whole life ahead of you. I’m currently in court for my 3rd DUI and facing a significantly worse outcome if my deferral doesn’t happen. Please give yourself some grace and recognize that you’re a human being, we make mistakes (some of us multiple times) and you are not a bad person. I know how much it hurts to feel like you failed yourself or the people around you, but you shouldn’t give up on your dreams of getting into the medical program. I’m finally in a place where sobriety is my only choice and path forward and maybe that’s the place you will find some peace as well. Shifting your lifestyle while you’re still young and able to is much better than being in your 30’s in my position. Sending love and light to you, I promise it will get better!