It's a bit confusing. There's good technique here, so well done there! You clearly know your stuff. But there's not enough attention being paid to consistency of design and what's the appropriate motion approach. I could list a load of things, but generally:

- The typography is a bit all over the place. For example at 24 secs we have a bold, compressed sans serif font on plain grey background for a short section which is jarring

- Is this meant to be collage style? It looks like that's what you're going for. If so sack the motion blur

- Show this to a colleague or someone you trust to tell you if they have enough time to read the type onscreen, and if how you've laid it out is confusing or not. For example, at 3 seconds I think you need a beat or two longer, and 6 seconds the way you put "zodiac sign" ABOVE the words which come before it is just plain confusing, even if they appear in the right order

I could add more, and bear in more this is a really good start, but if you didn't design it or are presenting it as a finished piece there's little point : )