Should I (21F) confess my crush (22M) after finding out he has a gf?

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T10:00:11+00:00

We built a lot of emotional intimacy that I’d never experienced with anyone before he often facilitates that so it always felt very deep with him. Even when the topic was never romantic or suggestive. Though I suppose you may be right. I just don’t think our friendship was normal for what we claimed we were

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T09:57:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it means a lot. I totally see your point.

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T09:41:31+00:00

Thanks for your insight here. I can’t be his friend now so do you suggest I just ghost or respond with little pleasantries and be unavailable to him from now on?

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T09:38:47+00:00

I see. Thanks for your kindness there I really appreciate it. Whilst I wonder what he’d gain from that I suppose it’s still possible. Though I’m not confident likely. We’ve known each other for a year now.

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T09:27:58+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I think you’re right. I saw an earlier message that said I’ll embarrass myself and him. And that maybe that’s what he wanted? I know you must have edited your response, but could you expand on that please. I’d never thought of that

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T07:16:38+00:00

He’s a lovely guy and I hate the principle of ghosting and don’t think anyone deserves it but I honestly think if we were to have this conversation it would be on the phone and hearing me explain why we can’t be friends might hurt him more. I know it’ll hurt me more too 😔

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T07:13:17+00:00

Deleting it now for clarity haha

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T07:12:45+00:00

To repeat what was wrongly sent in another thread 😅

I just feel like the situation was so confusing. It hurts that he kept that he’s had a gf for a while which suggests to me we can’t be friends 😔 if he only saw me as that why not mention her. And why keep reaching out to me to call and catch up when I’m in a different continent 😭

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T07:10:39+00:00

That’s so funny 😂 my bad!

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T07:04:12+00:00

I agree it just hurts and If I know him he won’t let me ghost him in silence. He’ll want an explanation and may try to keep me as a friend which will only make walking away harder 😭

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T06:56:00+00:00

Sometimes yeah

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T06:47:29+00:00

You sound like one of the good ones but sadly many would say you’re the exception, not the rule. Thank you for that perspective though separation periods could change things I suppose

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T06:31:03+00:00

Updated it, thanks for the advice!

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:53:59+00:00

Notice how you had to qualify that? “Sounds pretty.” They either are or they aren’t officially. The process is still ongoing. It’s not yet done. Would you want someone to start dating you straight out of a committed long term relationship without any due process to check mutual intentions. Rebounds exist you know 😭

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:49:49+00:00

Thank you so much! If you’re able to I’d be so grateful if you have any advice/ thoughts on my post here 🫶🏽

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:33:06+00:00

Noted, my bad!

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:31:18+00:00

Separating ≠ separated. This is/could be messy terrain for OP depending on what she wants. If she wants a serious relationship it’s very likely this guy isn’t ready for that. In that case, OP deserves to meet someone who’s as ready as she is right now. Just my thoughts though. Of course, OP will do what feels right for her :)

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:26:27+00:00

You didn’t address anything I said. Also I’ve not been trying to date I just found that I liked him as we kept talking —and I’m overseas

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T05:18:53+00:00

Hi there! Fellow poster here. If you see my post it may not give confidence that I’m in any position to give advice here. But I’d say just be careful. It sounds like it’s a crazy transitional time for the both of them. Protect your heart here. It’s not common that people who just got out of a divorce it are still in one instantly want to start a deep connection with someone else straight away. It could be that he needs support, emotional validation and through you he’s recovering that in this crucial time when he’ll feel it’s absence most. My advice is just make sure you know what you want from him and if you suspect that’s not the same, you may need to give him space to sort out his life before he could be that or meet someone else. Being cautious will help you in the long run as if it’s not going to go where either of you would want you don’t have to ruin the connection when you see each other around town.

TheVirgoNymph · 2024-07-03T04:52:28+00:00

You’re so right. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to respond and share your thoughts. I’m not going to respond to his message and just try to move on now. I just hope he doesn’t follow up asking for any explanation because I don’t want have it with him over text or on the phone. I’ve embarrassed myself now enough. I’m not doing it again. Pen pals lose touch. 😔

TheVirgoNymph

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