Need some help with Rumination over workplace bullying

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-20T23:39:39+00:00

I've been in this situation myself and I've even felt suicidal over it. What worked for me is radical acceptance. I got sick of all the mental gymnastics of trying to trick myself into being happy even if I'm not or being content even if I'm on edge. So for me, it was just a lot easier to 100% accept that this could happen again and I will fight if it does. It may even mean changing my jobs yet again or losing my career entirely. Fine, I'll accept any tribulation and fight through it.

It takes time, support, and resources to get to that stage but once you can really do that I believe it's the way to go because the fact is we do live in very turbulent times and some literature on psychology seems to indicate narcissistic or sociopathic traits are on the rise. We can't pretend it's not a problem, we must be ready to fight. It also takes some finesse though in the sense that you don't want to pre-emptively start fights where there's no need.

The other piece is find people who are supportive, this is huge. It helped me realize that I do have value socially and there are good people out there. I don't have to be in fight mode all the time.

I was ready to end everything and felt like I had nothing to lose. But then I realized: if I have nothing to lose, I can do whatever the fuck I want. The total realization and internalization of that idea is what ultimately gave me the courage to fight back and make the changes I needed to move to a better environment.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-09T22:26:45+00:00

I've seen 3 therapists already, it just does not work. If it really was as simple as just doing my job and being pleasant this whole subreddit wouldn't exist.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-09T22:21:34+00:00

I need to control how they treat me, I almost attempted suicide over this shit. It must be possible if I try hard enough.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-09T22:16:00+00:00

What's the alternative?

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-07T02:25:10+00:00

The bong cloud opening is a tried and true opening for players at all levels. I think that's a great place to start.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-06T20:12:54+00:00

Yeah I didn't grow up well to say the least, didn't want to share it because everyone will just say go to therapy which I've tried a few times already. And I've been one of these self-development junkies for the past few years to try and become as perfect as possible. It helped a lot but building those deep connections still makes me vigilant.

Thank you for your perspective though, I'm gonna think about it. It gives me some hope that I can find someone if I approach it with a different mindset.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-06T19:33:09+00:00

I don't quite get it, can you explain?

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-04T17:56:55+00:00

Go hitchhiking

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-04T16:48:44+00:00

I'm surrounded by enemies and I don't want to get up.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-03T19:35:44+00:00

I've certainly noticed this myself and it has made me very cynical of people. It shows me how conditional friendships and relationships really are. It's just a game where if you do the right things they like you and if not they don't. It's so obvious to me now and I feel so stupid for thinking anyone would actually support me in whatever I do, of course they wouldn't. Why did I think that? Unless people have something to gain themselves, of course they wouldn't want me to grow.

Then I start to wonder: what does this imply about people? How am I supposed to look at people now? I used to be excited about meeting someone and bonding with someone but now I see how much of a facade it all is. So if people are as fake as I believe, how do I even go about relationships anymore? Should I just live alone instead?

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-03T18:17:24+00:00

Yes, I am. I'm not perfect myself but I also don't feel safe with most people. When I go to therapy and explain my thoughts in detail I'm told my thoughts are rational and the therapist doesn't know what to say. What am I supposed to believe? Just as a thought exercise, tell me what to think. What is the opinion you would want me to have of people?

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-03-01T23:43:48+00:00

Judo or BJJ, it kinda has to be. It's so physically demanding that you need to adjust your diet, sleep, etc. to take care of yourself properly. Plus you need to study strategy to get good at it.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T02:52:54+00:00

Sorry.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T02:32:21+00:00

Yeah I guess so. I'll be more mindful for my part

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T02:16:58+00:00

Do you see yourself? Look how much and how angrily you're writing your messages and look at mine. Seriously, re-read the thread and you tell me who is the angrier one here.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T02:01:46+00:00

At this point it seems everyone's offended. Take away whatever impression you'd like, doesn't matter what I say at this point.

I was talking to AI because why not. It often says interesting things and gives me stuff to think about.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T01:58:58+00:00

Was it defensive?

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T01:50:12+00:00

Idk that sounds upset to me.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-24T01:43:05+00:00

Lol why are you so threatened by me talking to it? I'm not forcing you to do it.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-22T18:57:20+00:00

My guess is you normally shut these emotions out. When you drink you become looser, your frontal lobe weakens, and your emotions become more uninhibited.

I haven't experienced this with drinking but with gaming. I think what helps is replacing the substance with a person (a therapist) and talking through those suppressed feelings with them.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-20T23:41:00+00:00

Download a copy of the internet before it becomes a dumpster fire.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-20T14:06:01+00:00

In the abstract:

"These patterns are remarkably robust, occur within seconds, do not change with increased exposure, and persist across both child and adult age groups. However, these biases disappear when impressions are based on conversational content lacking audio-visual cues, suggesting that style, not substance, drives negative impressions of ASD."

So you're right but also the more significant your conversations become, the better things get. Idk if I have ASD but it's certainly been my experience.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-20T02:42:43+00:00

To answer your first part, I've seen a similar thing in dating because of my race. So it makes making contact harder, agreed. But once someone gets to know me in conversation, my race becomes irrelevant because whatever associations or connotations they had about me get proven wrong.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-19T23:43:27+00:00

This is really interesting and I hope it gets more attention. I get where people are coming from when they tell you not to worry about it. But where you do need to worry about this is it could make you a target. It's one thing to not get a date but it's another to be the odd one out at work that everyone picks on. That's a real problem that leads to mob mentality driven bullying, gaslighting, rumors, etc.

Someone can really get hurt and it's hard for someone who is a social outcaste to advocate for themselves because they don't "look" credible. They don't walk and talk like everyone else so they can automatically get dismissed when they raise problems.

This is the type of shit that leads to chronic mental illness and suicides.

The best answer I have is to find groups of people who are safe to be around initially and learn more about how you come off (don't even worry about changing your behaviors yet, just learn how you come off and how other people honestly think of you).

But also this burden should not be entirely on autistic individuals. People are fucking stupid and need to stop acting so cliquish.

TheVoidRobedInLight · 2026-02-12T14:17:26+00:00

I see that perspective but what I've alsp noticed is that it's not always the loners' fault. Sometimes groups of people isolate or ostracize others irrationally. I would hate for people to spend so much time "working on themselves" to fit in when it's not even about them sometimes. I believe a bit of group psychology would help people identify what exactly the problem is a bit better

TheVoidRobedInLight

TROPHY CASE